Hidden Secrets
by BrokenUp
Summary: No secret remains hidden for long... 24 year old Rosie Taylor is bored with her life until she's given an amazing opportunity; but all is not as it seems. Raphael feels fed up and like something is missing. Is it true that you make your own choices or is something else in charge? (Turtles are older in this - and no Master Splinter..sorry) Leo x Karai / Raph x OC COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Who am I? (Part One)

It was a question I had asked myself nearly every single day for the last four years of my life. Who am I and what am I doing? This whole life thing was so unbelievably strange sometimes. I'm 24 and yet I felt fifty. In the prime of my life and yet I feel so over it. During my years on this earth I found myself having good days and bad days; _very bad ones._ Those were the days when I didn't want to get out of bed, I couldn't be bothered with work and people altogether and when I came home I just wanted to curl up with wine and chocolate.

I shouldn't really drink (it makes me stroppy) and my mother tells me I should watch what I eat (as I'll get fatter) - but I do neither. I don't think of myself as fat; I prefer the term curvy - and besides a size 14 is not fat it's normal. Anyway, who should I watch my weight for? It's not like I have a husband, boyfriend or even one or two guys that are interested. I am, well, to put it simply, on my own and as long as I feel okay with my weight why should I let it bother me?

But weight issues aside, over these past years I have felt like I'm stuck in a rut. So, when the opportunity came to travel to New York I literally jumped at the chance. Then, admittedly, I spent the next few days worrying about it. You see, that's another of my traits - I worry. Yes a little too much on occasion but I can't help it. Things always seem to go wrong for me so naturally I assume they are just going to go belly-up even before they've begun. Some say I'm a pessimist - I say I'm a realist.

When I told my mother I was going to America you could hear the cries of anguish several miles away. She too is a worrier; in fact I always assumed that I inherited that particular trait directly from her. Her main worry was because I wasn't a seasoned traveler and the furthest I'd traveled to as late was Wales.

But what's wrong with that? I like Wales. It's nice and relaxing, has nice beaches, good walking and I feel comfortable. What she didn't understand was that now I was sick of feeling comfortable and I wanted to do something new and different. I wanted change, in fact I needed it. It terrified me, but at the same time spending the next four years doing the same things terrified me even more and I had always yearned to go to New York and be a part of that amazing place. I have two big photographs in my house of iconic New York scenes: one of the Brooklyn Bridge, one of Central Park. I put myself in both of them every other day. Now the time had come when I would be seeing both of those particular scenes for real and I was so excited; if a little nervous. _But that was only natural right?_

I avoided seeing my mother until the very last minute as I didn't want her making me even more anxious. When I arrived at her house I was a picture of calm and tranquility; when I left I felt ready to scream, strangle somebody or both.

And now on the plane I was trying to bring myself back into the moment and enjoy myself. I still couldn't get over the fact that I'd won something. I was an experienced competition entree and lottery player but I never even one so much as a free cinema ticket and now here I was on an all expenses trip to the most amazing City in the world.

"Champagne?" An air steward appeared besides me holding a tray with glasses of the bubbly stuff. I smiled at her.

"Why not?" I replied, reaching for a glass. If my mother could see me now! Well, she'd probably have a coronary at the fact that I'm drinking alcohol but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Snuggling back into my seat I looked out of the window and sipped my bubbles. This was going to be one Hell of a trip I thought to myself happily.

* * *

Who am I? (Part two)

Surveying the scene below Raphael waited for his brother's instructions; that's how it was every single night - he stood around like a goof ball whilst his bossy brother made all the decisions and then got a kick out of lording it over them. Still, least he was over on the adjacent roof-top and not shouting things directly at him. No instead, he had got left with Mikey. The youngest turtle was practicing his skate moves.

"We're suppose to be on look-out not messing about" said Raphael angrily

"Ooo, what's got into you? Is somebody jealous because I bought my board and you left yours behind? Ey ey? Is that it?" asked Michelangelo whizzing past him in a handstand position.

"No"

"Really? You sure about that bro? Cos your face says otherwise? You look really mad..." Michelangelo then went round and round him in circles

"It's you!" growled Raphael "not your stupid board"

"You sure? You sure?"

Sticking out a foot he knocked his brother off balance; Michelangelo fell heavily and bounced a couple times, stopping eventually by a ventilation shaft.

"Ouch! Bro, you're mean" he whined, rubbing his arm

"Well, you're annoying" Raphael stomped over to the other side of the building.

"Where you goin? Leo says we can't leave the site till he gives orders..."

"Leo says too much" replied Raphael under his breath as he moved his way over the roof tops leaving Michelangelo behind. Creating a sizeable distance between himself and his brothers he began to feel a bit more relaxed. He did love Mikey but he also found him somewhat irritating. He felt sure that Leo paired them on purpose because they too had had words earlier on in the day.

Reaching the end of the row he parked himself up on the ledge and sat down, dropping one leg over the edge he looked across the City. Would this be how it always was? Him and his brothers playing the big heroes. Admittedly in the early days, when they were all teenagers, it had been exciting. Now, however, he felt like he wanted more; needed more but he couldn't quite understand what. He just felt unfulfilled; and at times, fed up. His depression often turned to anger and even though Master Splinter had taught him some deep breathing techniques to calm himself down - at least half of the time these techniques didn't work.

Dear Master Splinter.

He'd been a leader, a friend, a father.

There was never a day that went by where he didn't think about him. Though he felt sad at the loss he refused to cry in front of his brothers. That was something he kept for himself when alone in his room.

"Why can you never obey my orders?" The sharp cutting voice of his brother interrupted his thoughts "I told you to stay with Mikey on the opposite roof - what if we'd have run into trouble? Donnie and I may have needed back up"

Raphael didn't bother to take his eyes away from where he was looking, besides, if he knew anything about Leo he would just be standing there arms folded across his chest and giving him the 'harsh stare'.

"Raph? Are you even listening to me?"

"Nope"

Leonardo marched over to him and took hold of his arm "You're supposed to be back up"

"Well" snapped Raphael snatching his arm away from his brother's grip "Maybe I don't want to be back up! Maybe I'm fed up with being back up!"

"What's that supposed to mean? We're a team remember?"

"No Leo, you boss us around like we're your slaves and those two are so dumb they just take it. Well, I'm done. From tonight it's over, you do your thing in your team of three and I'll do my thing!" He walked away huffing, not wanting his brothers to see the tears in his eyes.

Leonardo went back to the others.

"What's wrong with Raph bro?" whispered Michelangelo nervously

"He's being a big baby as per usual and throwing his toys out. Looks like it's just us on patrol guys, let's roll out, could be some more foot clan in need of a little pounding"

"Oy yeah! Michelangelo is ready for that!" announced the youngest nearly running over Donatello in his eagerness.

"Hey, would you watch it! You nearly rolled over my foot!"

"Oops! Sorry D!"

Pausing briefly to glance back at Raphael; Leonardo led his brothers away. He didn't understand why Raph was being so awkward. They'd been doing this for years. Someone had to keep the bad guys of the City under watch but if Raph no longer wanted to be a part of that then so be it. He was done too.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Opening my eyes

There was literally no way that I would be able sleep tonight. New York was alive and it made _me_ feel alive. I felt that maybe I had ingested some sort of life force because the moment the plane touched down and I was out and in my cab to the hotel I was buzzing and had so much energy (which admittedly seemed a little bizarre considering I had just spent hours on an Airplane and had more than my fair share of free champers). New York had a pulse; a _heart beat_ \- it felt so amazing that I felt touched by the energy and vibrancy - it was like being re-born.

As I traveled to the Hotel I wanted to shout out of the window and laugh at myself for being so worried. I still liked to think I had confidence to do new things; take on new challenges and really prove myself when it mattered. My mom always tells me to believe in myself and to make the most of every opportunity, but to always remember to keep something back just in case. I often wonder if she tells my sister the same thing. Probably not...

Since the death of my father my mom has always had the closest relationship with my sister and they see each other every day. My perfect sister did all the 'normal things' like get married, buy a house and have children. I, on the other hand, did none and now I've hot-footed it onto a plane to America - they were probably planning commiserations for my failure at this very point. But I wasn't going to fail. I was going to milk this vacation for all it was worth - starting with the hotel! Luxury wasn't the word for it. Oh My Goodness! I was quite simply blown away and bowled over at exactly the same time.

"Now you're sure this is the right place?" I asked. The taxi drive turned round to face me.

"Yes sweetheart it's the right place" He was chewing gum and watching that small ball of sticky stuff go round and round his mouth made me feel rather queasy so I paid him at speed and exited the vehicle. As I got out of the cab I suddenly felt the urge to do a victory dance - I, Rosie Taylor, had made it all the way from England to New York City in America and I had also just ridden in my first yellow cab!

Restraining the urge to dance I picked up my bag and headed inside. The Hotel was twice as gorgeous than I thought it would be. The interior was cream and gold, on the walls hung beautiful paintings and the furnishings in the lobby were so rich and soft looking I just had to go over and stroke them which meant a few of the other guests - and staff - gave me several frowns. But I didn't care! I felt like a movie star and besides I could pretend to be anyone here as no-one knew me. I sashayed over to the front desk and we played 'swopsies' for a while: he took my confirmation letter, passport and a few other details whilst I took the room card, hotel map and service list. Once our little game was over I opted for the lift. Well, no self respecting lady about town should use the stairs! The porter took my singular bag and joined me. He wasn't very talkative. I did try asking questions but after receiving two grunts and a yes I gave up and finished the journey in silence.

We rode all the way to the top. I was staying in the best suite they owned. Once inside I raced around the rooms at full pelt and drank in all the amazing things that I was seeing. The room had a double shower and a separate spa bath that would probably accommodate 10 people at the same time! I thought I might try to swim in it later. _And the freebies!_ Shampoo, body cream and butter, exfoliating gel, exfoliating rub and about three different types of loofa. I would be taking everything home with me - no freebie would be left behind.

After unpacking my small selection of clothes I popped the cork on the champagne, poured a glass and went out to the balcony. The noise from the streets below was electric. I did not miss the countryside one bit - this was where I wanted to be - this felt like home.

* * *

Evening had crept up on the brothers and once ready they all rolled out to patrol the City. All, that is, except one. Raphael kept to his word and refused to be a part of Leo's dictatorship. Instead he decided to have a night in. The lair was deathly quiet so he put the television on and sat to watch it. Realising he needed snacks he went to the kitchen and raided Mikey's so called 'secret stash' that wasn't so secret. The youngest brother had everything in there from chips to popcorn. He also had a few questionable items that Raphael couldn't decipher as food so he avoided those and sat down with a large bowl of popcorn. A film was on the TV. It was one of those soppy ones that he didn't typically watch but tonight minus his brothers he decided to give it a go. It was a boy meets girl - girl and boy don't get on - boy meets someone else, girl gets upset - girl realises she loves boy and they all live happily ever after.

 _Yeh, just like real life then_ he thought.

Shaking his head he switched off the TV and took his now empty bowl to the sink. Turning round he surveyed the still 'empty' lair. It was then that a tiny thing popped into his head. A tiny thing that had never been there before...

He felt lonely.

Snapping himself away from the wave of sadness that flowed in his chest he grabbed his weapons.

"I seriously have to find someone to pound" he said out loud "Get a grip Raph, it's a movie, do not go soft on me!"

Before exiting the lair he looked at himself in the mirror. He hated what he saw and he hated what he felt. Anger welled inside him and the mirror smashed upon contact with his fist. Muttering under his breath he left the broken glass and went to do his own patrol. He'd be fine just him. No nagging brother, no annoying brother and no geeky brother. Just him: Raphael.

He paused.

" _Is this really what I want?"_

Not knowing what he was asking and more importantly 'who', he decided to take the long way up topside and put a stop to this ridiculous feeling that was racing through his body. Beating a few ass-holes up would make him feel better. It always did. _A few beat downs and he'd be back to the old Raphael._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The good and the bad

The night went by really slowly. I spent most of my time on the balcony; even after I ordered a tonne of room service. I did actually turn the space into my own private 'party venue'. Feeling rather giddy on the champagne I cranked up the music and went into my 'I don't give a stuff' mode. It's the time of the evening where I become incredibly selfish and quite literally 'don't give a stuff' about any close neighbours. The music goes up and the singing begins. Now I can't sing but when I'm slightly intoxicated I _think_ I can sing. In fact I think I'm Madonna. Having changed into my night gown I sang along to 'Like a Virgin' - hairbrush in hand and giving it all it's worth. After all, I was on my holidays so I was going to have fun.

Just as I was getting really into the music died and the lights inside flickered and went off.

Oops!

 _Had I just blown up the room?_

Creeping back inside I could just about make out the various shapes that were without doubt the furniture, though my current level of drunkeness made it impossible for me to avoid them and so I lost count about how many times I bumped my toe and took a hit to the shin. This investigation was getting painful. I rubbed my leg.

And that was when I saw it.

Looking up my eyes made contact with a dark shape. At first I thought it was just another piece of furniture. It sat low to the ground and was at that time motionless.

But then it moved.

I screamed. And the lights came back on followed closely by the music.

I quickly turned it off, scanned the room and then relaxed a little following the realisation that the room was empty and what sat in the corner was a large padded foot stool and that I was too drunk. Locking the balcony door I did one last check of the room and adjacent spaces and then went into the bedroom and clambered up onto the bed. It immediately enveloped me into it's soft warmth and I closed my eyes; leaving a few lights on just in case the imaginary shadow monster decided to come back and grace me with his presence once again.

I was awoken the next day by a phone ringing. I groaned and rolled over. The phone carried on ringing. I allowed a slit of light to enter my eyes and for one brief moment I forgot where I was and had a tiny panic. Then as quickly as my panic came; it went and I relaxed.

The phone was still ringing so I rubbed my eyes and reached over to pick up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Is this Miss Rosie Taylor?" a smart male voice came over the ear piece.

"Yes" I replied "This is she" _I had always wanted to say that!_

"Miss Taylor will you be heading out today?"

The first thing I wanted to ask was - _Why? What's it to do with you?_

But I restrained myself.

"I may venture out after breakfast"

"If you do please come to the front desk and we'll order the hotel's private limo for you"

 _What the...?_

"And before you ask - it was arranged as part of your prize so yes it's free of charge. Do you want me to take a breakfast order for you now?"

At this point I really had to hold back on doing a full blown dance on the bed complete with leg kicks and everything.

"Miss Taylor? Are you there?"

"Yes" I squeaked "I would love to order some breakfast thank you"

Following a very substantial breakfast I did go out and I did ride round in the limo. It was incredible. I was literally having a ball! I felt like royalty and was being treated as such. Arriving at a coffee shop the driver asked if I wanted any refreshments. I jumped at the opportunity. It would mean I could stretch my legs and mingle with the New Yorkers! He pulled into a space outside and out I hopped. I felt everyone looking and it felt great!

* * *

Raphael returned to the lair at just before dawn. Leonardo was waiting for him and the others were no where in sight. This, he thought to himself, was going to be an ambush and another unwanted lecture. He was really not in the mood for this.

"Where have you been?" began Leo, frowning at him.

"Hell Fearless you know where I've been..we agreed it remember? You do your thing and I'll do mine"

"I know but my understanding was that you wouldn't be doing your thing until this time in the morning - how on earth are you going to function for the rest of the day?"

Raphael finished hanging up his weapons and strapping and turned to his brother "Ex-cuse me? Function? What are you whittering on about? Honestly Leo I swear to God you turn more and more into a woman every day - you'll be wearing dresses next!"

He strode past him and into the kitchen but Leonardo, who was not done with his brother, followed him.

"We just can't stay out all hours and not know where each other one is - we have to be careful Raph - remember what Master Splinter said"

Raphael held up a hand "Do not bring him into this. He's dead Leo so has no say - you are certainly not his stand in nor will you ever be"

Leonardo ventured towards his brother "I don't want to be..this is not what this is about Raph. I don't mind you doing your own thing but I just want you to be safe out there that's all. Use your T-phone..I mean, I saw the mirror and I...I worried that's all"

"Well don't - I can take care of myself" snapped Raphael walking away.

This time Leonardo watched him go and he didn't follow him.

"Can I say something?" Michelangelo's big blue eyes peeped round the corner at the eldest.

"Sure Mikey, as long as it's useful" replied Leo sitting down at the table.

"Everything I say is useful!" trilled the youngest brother "Look, about Raph, he's still grieving - I think he's just not as far through it as we are"

"That's because we share how we feel and Raph won't"

"I know, he says it's gay...but that's not the point...he will still have to go through that process whether he likes it or not, least that's what D tells me"

"You're right - I just wish he could see it and let us help him like the way dad would want - as a family"

"I know...perhaps in time he will...stranger things have happened"

Leonardo smiled and gripped his brother's outstretched hand "Well said Mikes, well said.."

In his room Raphael lay out on his bed taking deep breaths and fighting back the tears. He refused to cry. This time he had to stay strong. The time for crying was over.

He wondered why it was that his brothers could all band together and he just couldn't.

* * *

I had never seen such a huge choice of coffee then of course there was the cake! I resisted though and opted for a nice latte. The coffee shop smelt so good. _I felt good!_ In spite of drinking my entire body weight in Champagne I didn't feel hungover. And this coffee would be the final boost that I needed. I reveled in being part of the queue and listening to all the American accents. Once at the front I ordered and collected my prize. Sadly this was not free and I had to hand over a couple of dollars.

As I left the shop and stepped onto the street I realised that the limo had disappeared. I stepped to end of the pavement and looked up and down the street: No limo.

 _Where the Hell had it gone?_

Perhaps it was only on half day and somebody more famous than me had demanded to use it. Never mind. I was so near Central Park I decided to go there and drink my hot beverage whilst indulging in a bit of people watching. I had enough money with me to get a taxi back to the Hotel anyway so wasn't going to waste time crying over a lost limo.

Putting a smile on my face I traveled with - and sometimes against - the flow of people. I really felt like I was in the thick of it now. My coffee lasted all of 2 minutes until someone bumped into me and it flew out of my hands and onto the walkway where it proceeded to paint it a nice creamy brown colour. Nobody even stopped! But what did I expect? _Never mind,_ I thought to myself, _let's still go to the park._

Once inside I felt in awe of the sheer size of it! And the beauty. People were running, talking on their mobiles and generally doing all those things I had seen them do in movies. I re-discovered my inner excitement and trotted along quite happily; heading for a bench nearer to the middle of the park.

"Yes, target is in Central I repeat target is in Central...shall I bring her in?" The man pressed the phone closer to his ear.

"Do it" hissed the dark voice at the other end of the line "And do it quickly..don't draw any attention to yourself.."

He turned off the phone and put it back in his pocket before picking up his pace to follow the girl and gradually close the gap between them.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Taken and taken aback

I was getting a strange feeling in the back of my mind; I don't really know why but I felt uneasy and like I was being followed. Stopping mid stride I turned round and of course there were people - lots of people - all heading in different directions which naturally included my direction, but I couldn't spot anything out of the ordinary so I continued to move forward whilst picking up a little speed all the same and holding my bag a bit closer to my body.

"Don't scream honey and you won't get hurt.." hissed a male voice in my ear which was followed by the feeling of something solid being pressed into the space between my shoulders and my arm being clutched. I caught a breath and then another, more breaths followed and at that moment I felt myself hyperventilating; someone had hold of me and they had a weapon - I had been in New York for less than 24 hours and I was going to die. As I felt myself being walked forward I wanted to speak, Hell, I wanted to scream but I couldn't get my breath let alone get enough air into my lungs to put any noise behind it. A black van skidded to a halt two yards in front of me the back doors opened and before I could think I was bundled inside and the doors slammed shut behind me. Why was no-one doing anything? It was broad daylight and no-one did anything! This was like the coffee moment only much, much worse! Kidnapping must be an everyday occurrence here so they are all just too used to it! Holy mother of God I, Rosie Taylor, was being kidnapped!

The vehicle moved and so did I; the van had no restraints so for some time I was thrown about like a rag doll. What the Hell was this? Why didn't they just take my bag? Oh God, they obviously just didn't want my bag! I propped myself up against the side of the van and tried to steady my breaths. There were a million women in this City - over a million size zero women in this City why on earth would they pick a size 14 one! And then the reality hit me: what if they were like the guy in 'Silence of the Lambs' and they were making suits of real women? Then they'd need the bigger ones!

"What do you want with me?"

The question was out of my mouth before I could think about it. Maybe they didn't really know what they wanted with me and I had now just prompted them to think about it.

"I said what do you want with me?!"

Again...and I said it again and louder. _Why couldn't I just be quiet?_

A small hatch opened at the front; the man's face was covered with a wire mesh which I realised was the grill between the front and the back of the vehicle.

"You'll find that out soon enough" came a reply "Now shut it"

The hatch slammed shut.

They were going to torture me for sure. My mother was right. I should never have come here. I was doomed.

* * *

"There's something going on at TCRI" announced Leonardo. Donatello frowned.

"And you know this how exactly?" He looked across at Michelangelo who was munching chips. He shrugged his shoulders.

"His girlfriend" came a growly voice from the darkness. Raphael appeared from the back corridor and stood leaning against the sofa "That's right isn't it Leo?"

Leonardo automatically looked terribly uncomfortable and his cheeks darkened. Michelangelo jumped up and pointed at him.

"I think you're right Raphael cause our brother is blushing!"

Turning away, the eldest picked up his katanas and looked at them "Yes Karai did tell me..." he began "But.."

"No buts Fearless, if she's behind it you can count me out!"

"She's not behind anything Raph, you know when it's anything Kraang related she wants only to help and as for counted you out - you opted out remember?"

"But the Kraang haven't been seen for years, you know that Leo"

"Ahh yes Donnie but that doesn't mean they're not up to something and TCRI is still operational" He hauled his weapons over his head and sheathed them "I vote we check it out"

Raphael shook his head and strolled off into the kitchen.

"Donnie? Mikey? You in?"

"Where there's Kraang for crushin I am always in" added Mikey "As long as I can bring my chippies with me"

"You've been eating all afternoon bro - I am sure you can manage a few hours being chip free" replied Leo, removing said snack pack from his brother's fingers.

"Awwww" whined the youngest "No stealing my chips whilst I'm gone Raph - don't think I didn't notice you'd raided my stash!"

Raphael didn't answer.

"We won't be too long" shouted Leo and then turning to his brother's "All right guys, let's roll out"

Again Raphael didn't answer.

He waited until the door to the lair had closed then re-entered the lounge.

 _If old Fearless and the crew think they are the only ones going out then they're wrong_ thought Raphael to himself, _I'll give them five minutes then I'm outta here too. What if I get to TCRI first? And I solve this new issue before they even arrive? That would really put our 'leader' back in his box._

* * *

The van came to a standstill and the engine was turned off. I could hear the front doors opening and closing and male voices talking. The kidnappers had obviously arrived back at their base, and that would mean only one thing: they would be opening these back doors and pulling me out, taking me into a dark and dismal room and then leaving me there to mull over my experience and fear what was to come.

 _Well, I was half right._

They did pull me out of the van and they did take me into a room. It wasn't dark and dismal though. In fact it was quite bright. All artificial of course. There were no windows only one big metal door which they slammed behind me after chucking me to the floor. At the end of the day they did take my bag but it was obvious that the bag was not the reason they had taken me the first place.

After walking once round the room - which was all made of metal - I sat myself down in the farthest possible corner and drew my knees up to my chest. In the opposite corner I noticed a small camera click into action and move over to point directly at me. They were obviously watching me right at this very moment. I swallowed nervously and pulled myself up. As I crept over to it the viewer clicked and buzzed as it followed me - silencing once I was right in front of it.

"What!?" I shouted "What do you want?" I threw my arms up in the air "Because if it's money I don't have any and neither do my family! This trip was a prize - a freebie! As was the Limo ride! I'm just working class as in 'ordinary'! But if you don't let me go my mom will have the police looking for me and you will get caught"

I was trying to sound threatening and confident. That would show them!

A microphone squealed and consequently made me jump.

"Make yourself comfortable my dear because you aren't going anywhere" The male voice that came over the speaker was dark and deep; for some reason it made me feel chilled inside - like an ice cold hand had gripped my heart and squeezed "As for the law - they won't do anything because they will be too busy with everything else that will happen in your absence"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shouted; giving the camera lens my harshest stare.

"Your mother, and your sister, shall we say, will be 'otherwise engaged'.." I swear that when he finished that small sentence he chuckled to himself.

 _What the Hell did he mean by that? 'Otherwise engaged' and the 'law being busy'...Holy Shit - they were going to get my family?_

"You lay one hand on them and you'll regret it!"

This time he openly laughed. He let out a real guffaw; indicating that he didn't particularly believe me or feel worried in any way. Then the laughter stopped and the speaker clicked off. Well, he may be done talking but I wasn't!

"What's wrong? You chicken shit! Come down here and face me!" I surprised myself as I hammered on the door and kicked it; severely hurting my toes in the process.

I didn't understand why this was happening? _Why would anyone want to hurt me and my family?_

It was almost like I was trapped in a nightmare with no obvious mean's of escape.

If no-one had bothered when I was quite literally lifted off the street then who would help me now? I had to face fact: I was alone and I was done for.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Rescued?

I was used to feeling hopeless.

It actually came pretty naturally to me as I had a lot of previous experience.

I was bullied consecutively for 3 years which ruined the majority of my time at secondary school. During that time at school I was so miserable and really struggled fitting in. That was about the time my depression started and the roller coaster ride that was to take me up to this very point.

My temperamental character was the root of who I was. Along with my lows and highs I also had a temper. And more often than not it would land me in trouble. So when having a typical 'angry day' it would never take much for me to lose control and shout my mouth off at the nearest thing; even if this was just my pet dog.

It was amazing how this experience was forcing to me reflect - not that I wanted to be here in order to do so but sitting in the corner of my metallic prison I couldn't help but think back and remember those moments; little snippets of time where I had just well and truly 'lost it' and in turn I thought of all the people that I had hurt in my rage.

I ran my hand down my arm and back up again; rubbing it for comfort but also familiarising myself with my old war wounds. Scars from the days of self harming - those really dark days when I hated everything including myself. Though I still had low days I had never gone back to that ever again and nor did I ever want to.

The camera, which had remained motionless for some time, suddenly clicked into action and whirred round the room and then fell back to settle on me again. _What the hell were they checking for? Did they think I'd sneaked someone in here?_ This was ridiculous!

Getting to my feet I stomped over to the door and pummeled it with my fists "Let me go! You have no right to keep me here!" I carried on like this until I had no energy left and I collapsed against the door breathing heavily. It was definitely fair to say that I wasn't the fittest of individuals.

It was then that a light tapping sound came from outside the door; like metal on metal; this was followed by a gruff male voice: "You trapped in there?"

I sniffed and wiped my face "Yes..." I answered quietly and then I waited for the 'punch line' or over exaggerated laughter; _just in case my captors were taking the piss._ Instead there was only silence and then the door handle moved "Who are you?" I whispered.

I heard several grunts and then a loud thud as if somebody was trying to dislodge the lock and then a sea of voices followed by an extra loud one and a panicked shushing. The door handle ceased it's jigging and after pressing my ear to the door for the next few minutes all I got was silence. I let out a sigh and put my back against it.

"Hey could you move away from the door" Another voice. Still male.

I did as he asked; well what did I have to lose? I'd already lost my freedom and was quite keen to gain it back so if these guys could help I was up for that! Although I was wondering who on earth they were given that people had ignored my kidnap in the first place.

The door suddenly beeped, clicked and opened; as it swung back I was prepared to look at the men behind my rescue and of course be eternally grateful.

"You the only one in here?" A large figure stepped into the room and scanned it; followed by three others. An alarm had gone off upon their entry and even though it must have been loud I found myself barely hearing it - it was more like a low humming "Okay we gotta move, now". The first figure moved forward and gently but firmly grabbed hold of my arm.

"I knew that'd work!" announced one of them triumphantly whilst inspecting the lock "And to think you had doubts!"

"No time for measures of success Donnie - if I'd have had the time I'd have gotten her out easily enough and I'd most definitely be outta here by now"

Everything felt as if it was going in slow motion. My rescuers were not men. They weren't even human. And my natural reaction was to freeze so as he tried to move me I remained rooted to the spot with non-functioning legs.

"Raph make yourself useful and grab the girl"

The largest one in what appeared to be a red mask let out a groan and then picked me up. He lifted me up as if I weighed nothing; which certainly wasn't true; and yet he carried me easily. I couldn't relax at all so was not exactly making it easy for him to hold me. Leaving the room that had been my prison I felt him effortlessly swing me round and over one of his extremely large shoulders in a type of Fireman's lift. If I'd have had anything about me I would have probably screamed at this point but for some reason I felt totally submissive. I think it had something to do with the fact that I was far too terrified to move let alone make any sort of sound. First of all I'd been kidnapped by men in black and now I was being kidnapped by giant reptiles. This day had gone from bad to worse.

And now things were about to go seriously belly up!

Rounding a corner in this metallic rat run I heard one of them announce those fateful words: Uh-oh.

And of course I still couldn't see because I was still being mauled by the large one so I had no idea what the 'uh-oh' was for! My time of being 'in the dark' wasn't about to last much longer though; he swung me forward and popped me on the floor to which my legs went and I ended up in a heap; he abandoned me there without a second glance and joined his friends in what looked like some sort of combat/karate style fighting with a load of the men in black. Now I felt like I was in a video game. And if I hadn't been so shocked I may have actually been impressed. For their size they were pretty agile.

Then a realisation hit me: this was my chance - my chance to escape - _to escape all of them!_

I shuffled along the floor on my bottom until I got a good few feet away, then I pulled myself up turned and ran. Now I was no runner but on this occasion I would make an exception and I actually put my all in to the action. My sister (who as a runner) would be proud. No doubt though my body would hate me and would tell me so later...if I survived...NO! _c'mon Rosie, we can do this!_ _What was it that Gloria Gaynor said: I will survive!_ And I had to so that I could warn my family and of course find out what on earth was going on in the first place.

I reached a bank of lifts but instinct told me to take the stairs so I did but they in turn felt never ending but I tried to keep myself focused on my tasks: not to trip over and to get the hell out of here alive.

The stairs suddenly came to an abrupt halt and a large door stood in front of me but instead of trying it for access I hesitated.

I had no idea where this door went. _What if it landed me back in shit again?_

I looked back to whence I'd come but could see no indications of what level I was on or even where I was. Luckily I could also see no evidence of any cameras either. Everything was just, well...blank.

So, I took a deep breath and reasoned with myself: obviously I couldn't go back so forward was the only way. Grasping the door handle I turned it and stepped inside oblivious to the tiny pin hole camera which was watching my every move.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: And so it begins

I remember being apprehensive before I slipped through the door; once inside though all my previous thoughts were forgotten. I was quite literally captivated by what I saw. Covering the walls of the room were small electronic screens - how many I didn't know but it looked like a lot. On on each screen were photographs of me. Now I hated having my picture taken so running my eyes along each one was more than a painful experience but nonetheless one which had to be completed for me to attempt to understand what it was that I was seeing.

As I walked along the gallery I noticed that as I walked the girl in the picture became younger and younger. These photographs had been taken over many years and I felt sure that if I had kept on looking then they may even stem back to me as a baby. I didn't understand. What was the meaning of this? _Why me? Perhaps though they had more rooms with photographs of other people?_

"Stay where you are Miss Taylor" The voice that suddenly came alive over the speaker made me jump but I immediately started looking for an exit. A second door rose up in view so I fixed my field of vision onto it and started to run. With all this running I was hoping to God that I would be able to get out of here and that I wouldn't end up breaking an ankle in the process and being stuck here as a result.

Suddenly, I could hear heavy footsteps behind me and shouts of 'stop!'. I was _not_ going to be stopping under any circumstances; even though I was by now getting terribly out of breath and my legs felt so very tired I knew I had to keep going.

Once at the door I grabbed hold of the handle and turned it. Of course I expected it to move and let me out: of course it didn't. I kicked it harshly and tried again. And for second time it remained firmly shut. Then hands appeared and gripped my arms as I was pushed up against said door - even with my full weight behind it the damn thing still didn't budge. My arm was twisted firmly up my back and I was moved round and 'walked back' the way I had come. I thought about shouting out but for the second time I remained silent and submissive; allowing myself to be guided back out of the door and into the lift.

Once we had arrived at the chosen level they led me out of the lift and along another metallic corridor. _Had I sealed my fate by doing an attempted escape? Was this the time when they would finally reveal their intended plans for me and my size 14 body._

Reaching a door I was left outside with two of my escorts whilst the other two went inside. The next few minutes passed somewhat in a blur. There were flashes of green as my captors were knocked out from above; both of them landing in a crumpled heap at my feet. I took several steps back as I was surrounded by the four giant reptiles - the one in an orange mask stuck out a hand.

"Hey sister, chill it, we're here to help"

I could only assume that my face portrayed complete panic as I continued to back off. The door swung open and an army of men flooded from the room. Yet again I took it upon myself to move and move fast - well, as fast as I could under the circumstances. Ducking into an alcove I pressed my back against the wall and tried to calm down my breathing. Footsteps raced up to my location and then straight past. _They hadn't seen me!_ Minutes later two of the oversized amphibians followed grumbling something about 'wishing that she'd keep still'.

Popping my head out from around my hiding position I checked that the coast was clear before heading back to the lift bank where I changed my course of movement and instead of the stairs I opted this time for the lift. The stairs hadn't worked too well last time. Inside my small metallic box there was an option for the ground floor; I pressed it firmly. _There was no going back now._ I kept my eyes firmly focused on the lights as the lift descended - reaching and settling on 'G' the doors opened. I was expecting to be greeted with a dozen or so of the men in black but there was no-one and I was in what appeared to be a car park. Finally I could breathe.

Relax: No.

Breathe: Yes.

I quickly scanned the car park and moved away from the lifts just in case I would soon receive some unwanted company. Now to find a way out of this place.

"How could you loose her? What the Hell is wrong with you incompetents"

The group of soldiers stood before their master, heads hung low marking respect but also avoiding the heavy feeling that came with the disappointment of their failure. They had no answer that they could give him which would make everything better. All they could do would be to take it.

The punishment, they knew, would be horrific and they would pay for that little mistake with their lives.

On the rooftop of the building opposite, the turtles re-grouped. Their failure was also apparent. They had not found out what was going on at TCRI and had not captured the only individual who was being held in the vaults. Leonardo felt that, as leader, the burden was his to bare but he also pointed a finger at Raphael who had done the reckless thing and gone out on his own.

"I told you that's what I was doing - _I told you_ \- you do your thing and I'll do mine...you remember me saying that don't you Mikey? Donnie?" He appealed to his other brother's for support. Michelangelo held up a hand.

"Nu-uh! I remember Leo saying about this place but..."

Raphael stepped up to the youngest and cracked his knuckles "You sure about that Mikey...?"

Donatello took up position in between them "Violence is not the answer" he reasonned

"I think it is D..and if you don't shift you'll get some too.."

Leonardo firmly took hold of his brother and gave him a shake "Raph don't take it out on these two just because you messed up"

"I didn't mess up! I was doing perfectly well thank you until you came in and screwed up my operation"

"Your operation? You didn't even know anything was going down until I brought it to your attention"

"Of course Leo, because that is just who you are - Mr Perfect - Mr 'I'm right about everything'" spat Raphael before walking away from the group.

"So that's conversation over then is it?" asked Leo, arms tightly folded across his broad chest.

"Oh stick it in your shell!" snapped Raphael as he picked up his pace.

 _Stupid Fearless - always desperate to be the boss - just like when we were kids. Well I ain't a kid no more._

Rage swept up him like a ten thousand foot wave. Shouting out loud he vented his frustration on a nearby ventilation pump, knocking the covering off it and stopping it from working. Moving quickly away from that roof he slid down the stairs at the side of the building and ended up in the alleyway.

He was always used as the scapegoat - the outsider - and he hated it. Kicking a brick down the alley he reveled in it's destruction as it smashed against the wall opposite; breaking into a dozen or so pieces and a cloud of dust. What he really wanted was something alive to pound. A scream from a nearby alley got his attention. Perhaps things were going to go his way after all.

"Let me go! I have nothing for you"

"Oh I think you do sweetheart" The gang were surrounding the girl and as they moved slightly to the left Raphael caught a glimpse; recognising her straight away. It was the one from TCRI.

" _A screw up am I Leo..."_ muttered Raphael under his breath

The girl was struggling - one slap from one of men saw her slump dead-weight in his arms. The gang all laughed.

"Good going Rocco I like them passive..." He put a hand on one of her breasts and squeezed.

"Touch her again and you'll be the one who's passive..."

"What the...shit, it's one of those freaks" The one who called himself Rocco passed the girl to his partner and took out two switch blades, flicking them open he stepped up. At a good foot and a half smaller he sure was being brave mused the red-banded turtle. Pulling out his sais and rolling his shoulders the cry let out by the opposition was also admirable. In less than 5 seconds Raphael had taken them all out and had picked up the girl.

"You low lives will never learn - never take me on and expect to win" he announced "Pleasure doing business with you scum bags... _as always"_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: What the..?!

Carrying the girl to the safety of the rooftops he was just about to place her down on the ground to check her over when he was blasted out by a loud scream and she began to wriggle and thrash about in his grasp, making huge efforts to free herself.

"Calm your ass down, I'm not gonna hurt you!" He tried to hold her steady but something had to give. And it appeared that the 'something' was her as she fell heavily onto the floor with a thud.

"Ow!" she cried, rubbing her leg "You just did"

"That was an accident - if you hadn't been thrashing about so much it wouldn't have happened!" replied Raphael gruffly.

She got up and glared at him "Well if you hadn't had hold of me in the first place I wouldn't have been so jumpy!"

"You were being attacked and would have been raped if it wasn't for me, I just saved your ass so a thank you would be nice"

After dusting herself off her eyes met his for the second time but on this occasion they'd softened a little. "Thanks" she mumbled.

"Good, least you got _some_ manners" She opened her mouth to offer a quick come-back but upon seeing him pull out his sais she stopped; those things looked lethal "I hate having the remains of scum bags on my weapons" he muttered wiping them clean

She swallowed and took a step backwards "You...you.. killed them?"

"No...gave them a pretty good beat down but unfortunately they are alive to see another day and hurt another person - does that make you happy?"

"No. Of course not..." Finding the edge of the roof she let her hands make contact with the bricks "What are you...? Some sort of hero?..I mean you are a good guy right?" She was looking at him with caution.

He nodded re-sheathing his weapons "Sure...I help people should they need it, and, in the case of you; you seriously needed it".

She paused briefly before asking a question to which she really wanted an answer: "What was that place before..and why were you there?"

Raphael figured he'd turn it around back on her because he had a few questions of his own: "It's called TCRI. And actually I'd like to know why were you there?"

She shrugged her shoulders "I honestly have no idea. They just took me off the street and locked me up...I don't know these people and I don't know what they wanted with me".

This huge reptile was now looking at me like I was insane. I wasn't really sure whether he believe me or not but quite frankly I didn't particularly care. I just wanted to get away, get back to the hotel, have a long hot bath and order lots and lots of room service.

"Took you?" He was frowning.

"Yes. Right off the street, I was in the park just minding my own business and they took me, kidnapped right in front of people but no-one batted an eyelid. Nobody cares here - everyone just looked the other way"

I swore he smiled to himself - that made me annoyed. He had no business to mock me. I had been through so much and felt like I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown; if he hadn't been so huge and scary looking I swore to God I would have smacked him at that point.

"That's New York for you, least we're not all like that"

I coughed nervously "So... what exactly _are you_?"

He chuckled "Thought the shell would offer a big hint and don't you dare say tortoise cos I ain't one of those"

"I actually had a tortoise, as a child, but he was a lot smaller, walked on four legs and he couldn't talk..so..."

"There ain't no-one like me; like any of us. Let's just say for the purposes of ending this conversation that we're a little unique"

I nodded "Yes, I can see that..." Moving along the wall but not taking my eyes off him I willed myself to get safely to the fire escape and find civilisation; human civilisation.

"Where do you think you're going? My brothers will want to talk to you and I want to show one of them in particular that I'm not a screw up" And with that he strode over to me; fixing my eyes with his own "So you little lady are coming home with me"

"What!? No!" I couldn't move any further, by now the roof edge was pressing into my flesh and panic was flooding my whole body "You can't do that! I want to go back to my hotel!"

My protests were lost on him as he picked me up and swung me over his shoulder like he had before. I could hear myself yelling but he chose to ignore it and took me over the roof tops like he was Santa and I was a sack full of toys. It was not the most comfortable experience but things were about to get much worse. At ground level we stopped at a manhole cover.

"What the...?" Yet again I found myself lost for words as I looked at him blankly.

"Yes we live underground and no you can't know where...it's the only sanctuary we got" And with that he put something over my head so I couldn't see.

"This is kidnap!" I protested tensing up as he picked me up.

"It's not kidnap" The smell of the sewage system stung my nostrils as he waded through water "I'm only borrowing you - I'll bring you right back here once we're done"

I felt like it went on forever but then the smell dissipated and I heard a door open and close and finally felt myself put down on what appeared to be a sofa. The bag was pulled from my head so I could take in my surroundings. And indeed it was a sofa. A sofa sitting next to another one and two chairs in what appeared to be some sort of lounge area.

I looked at him "Underground?" I asked, feeling sick with worry.

"Yep, underground. It's the best place - well, apart from when Mikey is down here with you"

Best place? Not for me it wasn't. A horrifying realisation hit me. I was trapped. Even if I did get out of here I wouldn't have a clue where I was going and would most likely die. I didn't want to die...well, not today anyway, and definitely not like this. I felt myself beginning to shake and didn't know whether it was through the cold or the fear of what was to come.

"You thirsty?" He casually walked off to another room and opened what looked like a fridge. I stayed quiet and tried to focus on my breathing. "I take it that's a NO then?" The door was slammed and he came back into the lounge carrying a can of something before sitting down on one of the chairs.

"So.." He popped open the can and stared at me "You have a name then mystery girl?"

I nodded. My mouth felt so dry.

"Which is...?"

"Rosie" I croaked "Rosie Taylor"

"You're not from round here are you Rosie Taylor?"

"No..I'm from England...I won a holiday...so that's why I'm here..." Looking at my hands I could hear my mother saying 'I told you so' in my ear over and over again.. _.oh my God, my mom, I'd forgotten_. I clocked the phone on the wall in the corner and got up "Does this thing work?" I asked

"Yep, course it does..why?"

"Can I? Can I use it?"

I snatched up the receiver and quickly dialed.

"Sure, so long as you don't call the cops - hey, why am I bothering? You wouldn't be able to say where you are because you don't even know" He smirked and let out a deep growl of a chuckle.

Phoning the cops hadn't even crossed my mind - but perhaps it was something I could try after my call to my mom...though he did have a point; I didn't know where I was and would they even believe me if I said about being taken by a big reptile.

I put the phone to my ear; it was ringing. I tried to swallow but couldn't; it felt like it was sticking together. After 6 rings the answerphone clicked in so I left a message; all the while trying to sound calm and composed when inside my head I was screaming. I'd asked her to text me, but of course she would not be able to - the kidnappers still had hold of bag and in it my phone! Luckily the hotel had my passport; which meant at least I would still be able to get home.

"What's going on?"

I looked over to the door and clocked the figures of three more giant reptiles. For the tiniest of moments I'd forgotten that there were three more. The one with the blue mask was standing at the front and frowning. I dropped the receiver but quickly snatched it up and put it back in the cradle. I couldn't stop my hands from shaking.

"What do you think bro; I found her and bought her back here. Shocked are we that I could do what you couldn't?"

"No Raphael, not shocked, just surprised...surprised that you bought a stranger back to our secret lair" Extra emphasis was put on the word 'secret'.

"Not to worry older brother, I blindfolded her, so she has no idea where she is - see, I'm not as dumb as you keep making out so give me some credit"

"We've had girls back here before bro, it's all good" It was the one in the orange mask who was talking now; and looking at me in a very unsettling way. What on earth did these things have planned for me? Suddenly here with all four of them...I didn't feel so safe.

"Look" I began "Why don't you just show me out and you can go back to doing what you do and I can get back to what I do" I tried giving them a confident smile telling myself not to let them know that I was so afraid.

"She won a holiday, bad luck to get grabbed don't you think? She won't be no trouble" The one in the red bandana was looking at me now. The door was behind the other three - I'd spotted it - just had to get them out of the way..then perhaps I could sneak out...

"No I'll be no trouble, no trouble at all..quiet and complying..that's me all over" I smiled again.

"Why does she keep grimacing like that? do you think she's in pain?" Orange mask asked purple who in turn began to look a little closer; and then he moved striding forward and towering over me.

"You hurt?" I glanced up at him and shook my head, but because I was suffering involuntary spasms bought on by fear it probably appeared like I was having some sort of fit "You sure?" I nodded again and let out a little squeak.

Orange mask bounced up to me "I'm Mikey. The fun brother!" He stuck out a hand; I just stared. So, he smacked me on the shoulder and whispered to the purple one that he thought that perhaps I was a little cuckoo.

"She's probably suffering from shock. I'll sort her out..can't have her all jumpy can we?" Purple then proceeded to lean in so close that I could feel his breath on my face "If you want to come and lie down we can check your vitals"

"Perhaps she needs a little sugar? May make her better" Orange mask was looking at me in that strange way again.

At that point blue pulled out two large swords "You sure that's necessary D? I'm sure she'll be fine as she is"

Oh my God, they were going to eat me! And that was the last thought I had as my body finally gave way, the lights went out and I hit the deck.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Prelude to a nightmare  


Donatello checked over their visitor for any signs that her condition was more than stress related. It wasn't. It appeared that her body had simply had enough and therefore shut up shop before she exploded. Professor Brainiac then went on to explain - to anyone who was listening - that it was a natural defense mechanism. Raphael groaned and shook his head.

"She ain't much good all unconscious though is she? You won't get your answers then"

"Her health comes first brother, answers can wait" Leonardo stood over Rosie as her eyelids fluttered and she took a reluctant peep "How you feeling?"

She squealed and whimpered, visibly backing away from him.

"We aren't going to hurt you, it's okay, we're the good guys. I'm Leo, leader of these bunch of retrebates, this is my brother Donnie who's the resident doctor, Mikey, the resident prankster and Raphael, the resident muscle"

She was looking around the room - taking each one in turn and attempting to process the information before speaking: "So you're not going to eat me?"

The one called Raphael let out an almighty laugh: "Eat you? You seriously thought that we were going to eat you?" Now he laughed so much he fell off the chair. Leonardo smirked but soon let it drop when he saw her blushing.

"Ignore him, he finds everything funny" he announced, giving Raphael one of 'those' looks.

"Aww c'mon bro, it is rather funny, you have to admit" added Michelangelo grinning "No? you don't see that? Okay..." He squirmed back into the sofa looking a little awkward.

"It might be a good idea to keep her in the larder" began Raphael, folding his arms "She'd last us a good week easily, we could keep her for emergency use only"

"Knock it off" snapped Leo, he then turned back to Rosie and proceeded to crouch down next to her "He's teasing of course"

She still looked a little wary but her eyes weren't quite as wide.

 _Was he implying that I was fat?_ so not only were they feeling that it was okay to laugh at my misjudgement but they were poking fun at my size too. This was not a situation that I wanted to be in so I moved my legs forward off the sofa and went to get up.

"I think you should take it easy - your blood pressure is still a little off" the one in the glasses was looking at me with concern - this was the one that had been referred to as the 'doctor'. Well I don't know which medical school he qualified at but I felt damn sure that it wasn't a recognised one.

"I'm fine, honest, I just want to get back to the hotel"

"And you can, Raphael will take you back to where he found you, I just want to know what you were doing at TCRI" They were all staring at her now; apart from the one in question who had turned away and was flicking through a comic book.

"As I told your brother I have no idea - I don't know why they took me; I've never even heard of the place"

Leonardo was frowning "Strange, they don't normally just take without reason...Donnie, do you think you can do some research into Rosie and I'll see what Karai can find out"

A huffing sound came from Raphael which the others chose to ignore.

"Why would you research me? I'm just ordinary. Doubt you'll find anything interesting"

"You never know, I'll see what I can come up with"

Raphael tossed down the comic "You heard the girl, she's ordinary, I told you guys, she won a competition; that is probably the only thing you'll pull out"

"Hey! You need to remember your manners; she's our guest so stop being so rude, what would Splinter say" Leonardo was looking angrily at his brother and pointing a finger.

"Oh and there it is - the finger of doom! I was waiting for that to make an appearance" mocked Raphael getting to his feet, pushing past Leonardo and going to the exit "You know what bro, Splinter would say nothing because he's dead so you need to stop bringing him up!"

The door was slammed shut with such a force that it made a booming sound.

"Mikey, go after him will you?"

"Uh-uh, no way Leo, you know what he's like when he's in a mood, I'm keeping out of it"

I found myself wondering who would be taking me out of here now that my guide had left. Leonardo seemed to read my mind.

"Don't worry, I'll take you back up"

And true to his word he did. After they'd asked me several more questions about my non-interesting life back in England and my less interesting job; they appeared to be happy that I wasn't a space alien, werewolf or international spy. Leading me out of the lair; blindfolded of course, we were soon up back up in the land of humans and once he uncovered my eyes he gave me my bearings and went to leave; telling me to 'stay safe'.

"What is TCRI?" The question was out of my mouth before I had a chance to think about it.

"You say you don't know then you're best not knowing...it's a bad place and I would just keep away - ignorance is bliss trust me"

"Oh...okay"

"I'd just keep to the hotel, and keep a low profile. If they picked you up once they may try again"

"I suppose..." Turning away I glanced back to say thank you but he had gone and I began to wonder whether I had imagined the entire encounter. Four giant reptiles living in a sewer sounded more like an urban myth than reality.

I checked my clothes were okay by taking a big sniff I satisfied myself that they weren't too bad - well, I didn't want to go back to that lovely hotel smelling like crap did I? I had no idea what I looked like - a mess probably. I visualised myself soaking in a huge bubble bath. Heaven.

Entering the hotel I marched up to the desk. The woman behind the counter gave me a strange look. Obviously I looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and then some. I flashed her a smile and began to explain my predicament. As the details of my story drew to a close I waited for her to respond. She tapped away at the keyboard and then re-met my eyes her face expressionless.

"I'm sorry Miss Taylor but you checked out well over 2 hours ago"

I what? I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing.

"Pardon me...you are kidding right? I mean, I couldn't have checked out because I'm here, I'll show you, my stuff is in the room"

The woman shook her head "The room is now re-occupied, it was cleaned and trust me there is nothing in there" She turned away and went to a filing cabinet "I'll show you...S...T, Taylor; here" She placed a piece of paper in front of me. The paper was a check out form and there at the bottom was my signature.

"This is ridiculous! I told you, I didn't check out, why would I do that, my holiday isn't over"

I was panicking now and obviously coming across as a little fraught as she indicated to security personnel with a brief nod.

"Your flight was changed upon request"

"Request from whom! I'm here! How could I have changed it; I've been locked up, at that TCRI place, there were these dodgy men and a..."

"Miss I'm going to have to ask you to leave" The security man had joined the receptionist at the front desk and now both of them were staring at me with a mixture of pity and disgust.

"But I have no-where to go!" I exclaimed "You have my things, my passport"

"You took your passport when you checked out Miss Taylor, look, I can show you the footage if you like" She faced the security guard "Rob, would you?"

The next few minutes passed in some sort of hazy blur; the security man took me to what I presumed was his office and he fiddled about with one of the computers.

"There.." he announced "You. Checking out"

Oh my God, I strained my eyes to look closer, but there she was; well, there I was, at the front desk with all my things doing what appeared to be checking out.

"This is madness" I breathed.

"The only madness is you; now are you going to leave quietly or am I going to have to call the cops"

I shook my head "No, I'll go"

Taking hold of my arm he lead me from the office and out to the front of the building before unleashing his grip and heading back inside. I just stood there. Frozen to the spot. I could see them laughing at me and felt more than a little humiliated at this whole thing - I couldn't understand why this was happening? Who was the individual who had checked out in my place? Were they now on their way back to my home? to my family? and for what purpose? I was just ordinary; why would someone want to do this to me?

Without realising it; I had began to walk away from the hotel and down the street. My mind was still whirring with questions; and there were no answers that I could offer.

I looked up to the Heavens, I don't really know what I was looking for, I doubt I would get any answers from the Lord Almighty himself.

But perhaps I would find some help up there; on the rooftops; my strange reptilian rescuers could be around; maybe they could help me. After all, I knew no-one else! the Hotel would never let me back in there again. So I found a fire-escape and began to climb. Once up top I felt so much safer. The streets at night were a dangerous place; I hadn't forgotten my last encounter with the locals.

I scanned the area but there was no sign so I found a corner and settled myself down into it; allowing the concrete to wrap itself around me and offer some shelter.

"Rosie Taylor...are you stalking me?"

My eyes fell upon the huge figure of Raphael as he loomed over me, arms folded and looking more than a little put out. I scrambled to my feet.

"I checked out...well, I didn't because it wasn't me...someone posing of me checked out...so now I'm more than a little stuck...I wondered, could you help? I don't know anyone else, and I've no-where to go..." I gave him my pleading look; even though he'd jibed about my weight and mocked me I really did have no-where else to go and no-one else whom I knew. I was lost.

He took a deep breath "Damsel in distress doesn't really suit you you know? But, can't leave you out here cluttering up the roof top can we? Follow me" He turned and walked away. I stumbled forward and followed. Choosing yet again to ignore the obvious dig he'd just made. Answering back would only leave me on the streets and I much as I loved New York I did not want to die out here.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Wake up call

Why were things in life never easy? Why was it they always had to go wrong?

Even winning the chance of a lifetime and traveling to the most exciting City in the world (well, in my opinion) it could never go right could it? Course not! This was me Rosie 'the jinxed' Taylor. Now my mother would tell me to be grateful and count myself lucky. Trudging along the sewer tunnel and ingesting the smell I really couldn't see how I could ever count myself lucky. Being kidnapped was not lucky; being replaced was not lucky...

 _My mother._

Yes we weren't close but I wouldn't want anything to happen to her.

Raphael hadn't said anything since he'd picked me up off the roof top; he was probably thinking how unlucky he was to come across me again. Yes, I am certain that he and I were not going to be best buddies - he seemed to delight in pressing my buttons and being mean.

"I didn't ask for this you know" I mumbled, attempting to lift the heavy atmosphere that had popped up between us. He evidently didn't want to talk back and instead let out a lowly grunt and stepped in front of me to open the door to the place he called home. It was at this point that it hit me; he'd just led me back here without a blindfold. Not that I would ever remember the journey as my mind was elsewhere. I didn't particularly want to come back here at all but what choice did I have? I had no where else to go and at least they had a phone so that I could make some phone calls and try to find out what was going on around here.

Entering what I now understood to definitely be the living or lounge area of their home, Michelangelo, the one who I now knew to be the youngest, was playing some sort of electronic game. He jumped up, tossing the game to the side, and rushed to give me a hug. It was the sort of hug that felt like a stranglehold and was not really the kind of welcome that I had anticipated.

"You're back! and with the girl! Making _girl-_ friends are we Raph? Ey? Ey?"

Raphael grabbed his brother by the neck, pulled him off me and marched him to the other room "Not a chance short stuff so put a sock in it"

As he released him, Mikey rubbed his neck moaning something about his brother being a bully. That struck a chord with me.

"Ignore him" I whispered giving Mikey a small smile and putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes ignore me Mikey, and see what you get for your trouble" Raphael slumped onto a chair shaking his head and picking up his brother's game console.

"Hey, I was playing with that, on level eight so don't lose my place!"

"Oops!" mused Raphael, pressing the red button. He was deliberately being annoying as usual.

"You should be nice to him, he's your brother"

Dropping the game Raphael towered over me "Excuse me? You've been here what 2 minutes? and you're telling me what to do! Watch what you're saying and who you're saying it too! You, missy, would still be out there if I hadn't saved you...again!"

"You did not save me! First time, yes I admit that... but on this occasion I just assumed you were being a gentleman"

Michelangelo sniggered; obviously finding the prospect of his brother being called a 'gentleman' highly amusing.

"How about I show you what a gentleman I can be and take you right back out to where I found you" He grabbed hold of my arm and marched me towards the door, quite roughly too.

"Raphael!" The sharp voice of Leonardo cut through the situation "Let her go!" Raphael froze and glared at me, letting out a growl I was suddenly freed from his grip. Leonardo looked far from impressed and strode up to his brother "What the heck are you doing? She's just a girl"

Raphael face palmed him and stomped off down a corridor, a door could be heard slamming several feet away - I assumed he'd gone to bed to sulk - good job too, I thought to myself. Leonardo turned to me, his face full of concern.

"I'm so sorry, there's no excuse for him, you okay?"

I involuntary hugged myself "Yes, thank you, I was just sticking up for Mikey but I shouldn't have got involved"

"It's not your fault, Raph is angry at the best of times but he's got worse since dad died"

"Oh, I'm sorry" I felt my heart go out to them all "That must have been really hard"

Michelangelo seemed keen to change the subject and suddenly threw his arms around me "You've been here five minutes and we're already best buds. Do you like pizza?" I nodded. He hugged me harder "Then our friendship is sealed" he added, grinning.

The pizza thing surprised me, as did their hospitality. I didn't really know what I expected but they were far from the monsters I'd thought they would be. All of them were really welcoming and keen to hear my story, well, apart from Raphael who spent the rest of the night in his room. To be honest I was glad about that. I didn't want another confrontation.

Later on I phoned my mother and tried and calm myself down. No-one answered so yet again I left another message; trying to sound like I wasn't in a babbling panic mode.

Leonardo was really interested in my issue with the 'fake me'. He immediately did exactly what I had done: put it together with the kidnapping but since Donnie's research hadn't pulled anything up he got back into contact with Karai who had promised to break into this TCRI place to see what she could pull out. I didn't know much about her apart from that she was an insider who'd had a difficult past. Like Mikey and their father; Leonardo did not seem keen to go into detail about Karai and her link to the family.

"And now we just wait...no-one knows you're here so you'll be perfectly safe; you are welcome to kip on the sofa, I hope that'll be okay?" He was trying his best to reassure me and to go along with that I kept my other little concerns to myself.

"I'm sorry to be a burden, if I had my way I'd be back at the hotel thinking about going home" I was sitting at the kitchen table fiddling with my cup of tea.

"You're not a burden and don't worry, we'll find out what's going on and get it all sorted" Leonardo was very good at maintaining the calm persona; I wondered if he was always like that.

"Karai is Leo's girlfriend.." whispered Michelangelo, leaning closer to me "He doesn't like us to say it as she worked for the other side, but he's contorting her"

I assumed he meant 'convert'. I couldn't really imagine him bending her into different positions.

"Are they serious?"

"I dunno...why? Never seen them get all 'jiggy' if that's what you mean"

I felt my cheeks heat up. That wasn't particularly what I was implying.

"Well, I'm off to bed - will see you tomorrow I guess - or today...time is a little weird down here, the lack of daylight kinda screws things up.." He ruffled my hair, planted a kiss on my cheek and then left me to it. I checked my watch - 3am - yes time did certainly go a different rate down here. Strangely enough, I still felt wide awake. I figured I'd try my mom again. The telephone rang out three times but this time rather than the answerphone clicking in, it was actually picked up; I nearly dropped the receiver in shock.

"Hello? Mom? It's me, your Rosie, calling you all the way from America.." I could hear the sound of breathing at the other end so I knew that someone was there "Are you okay? Mom?"

Somebody coughed, there were whispers and then came the voice: "There's obviously a mistake - I'm her Rosie; who are you?" This voice at the other end of the line sounded exactly like me and for a brief moment I forgot myself.

"Excuse me? Err, you're the mistake, get out of my home " I knew I was raising my voice but at this point I didn't care. This fake 'me' had not only checked out of the hotel - they were now in the family home doing Lord knows what.

"Oh c'mon" hissed the other 'me' "It was only a matter of time before you were exposed"

"What are you talking about? Let me speak to my mother...I'm going to call the police.."

"Whatever. Do what you like. She's my mother now" The phone clicked and went dead. I stood there in shock before re-dialing; the phone didn't even ring out, the other me had obviously taken it off the hook. This all felt like some sort of bad dream. Why was this happening? Who were these people and why were they doing this to me? I was a no-one.

"You okay?"

I turned round to see Leonardo standing behind the sofa with pillows and blankets; he put them down and stepped closer to me giving me another look of concern.

"Yes...I think...I don't know" Putting a hand on my arm he guided me to the sofa and sat me down. I felt like a zombie.

"You're shaking, what's happened?"

"Someone, someone is at my mothers, pretending that they're me and they're not me are they because I'm here, my mom and I aren't close but I would never want anything to happen to her and oh God.." I clutched my hand over my mouth and sobbed. He held me close and stroked my hair, telling me it would be okay. I don't know how long we stayed like that but when eventually he did let me go he went to get me another cup of tea and then set me under my blankets and disappeared down the corridor. My hands wouldn't stay still as I sipped my tea. My eyes hurt from crying and I felt drained.

Leonardo returned and sat next to me.

"I've rallied the troops, well Karai and Donnie" he began "She is going to meet me in a while so I'm going to have to nip out, but Donnie will be up in a mo and in his lab - he'll look after you okay, should you need anything, just ask"

"Thank you" I replied, drawing comfort from the heat of the mug "You've all been so nice"

"It's what we do"

I sniffed and took in the silence before randomly breaking it with the most inappropriate question going: "So are you and Karai an item?"

He immediately looked awkward and I could have sworn I saw a light blush come to his cheeks.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be so nosy..."

"It's okay, it's just complicated that's all" He got up and greeted Donnie who came out with his laptop "Donatello, as well as our resident doctor is our resident genius, he's going to look into some more alternative computer programmes...if you get my drift"

I looked at them both and waited for an explanation.

But suddenly I clicked and got 'the drift': "Hacking? You're a hacker?"

"Code breaker, I prefer code breaker" replied Donatello, pushing up his glasses "Sounds less illegal"

"But what are you hoping to find? I told you, I'm just ordinary, even winning this competition was a shock, I mean, I never win anything.."

They exchanged a knowing look between them and then Donatello gave me a sympathetic smile: "Trust me and I'll see what I can come up with, if it's out there, I'll find it.."

"But don't you..." I glanced back to Leonardo "Don't you need sleep?"

"Not all the time...well, Mikey does so that's why I've left him to it" he mused "Sit tight okay, as someone well known once said: I'll be back"

After he left I pulled the blanket around my shoulders, suddenly feeling cold.

"You sure know how to pull the drama? Fearless is loving all this" Raphael plonked himself in the chair opposite me "I don't suppose you saved me any pizza?"

"Whatever is left over is in the kitchen" I replied, avoiding making eye contact "I thought you weren't hungry, well I assumed.."

"You assume too much"

"I'm sorry I offend you" I began "Why, if you hate me so much and so decidedly, did you bring me here?"

He chuckled and leaned forward "I don't hate you.."

Then I met his eyes, he didn't look like he was messing with me. He actually looked quite serious.

Holding my gaze for a little too long and obviously feeling awkward as a result, he coughed and got up to head to the kitchen. I put down my now empty mug and lay down on the sofa. Feeling tired I must have gone straight to sleep.

Raphael picked at the pizza and after grabbing a drink went back into the lounge. This Rosie Taylor girl was fast asleep. He stood over her and pulled the blanket up to cover her shoulders. She had tiny freckles on her nose; he'd never noticed them before. Letting out a moan she turned over and snuggled deeper into the pillow. He stepped away and went to head back to his room. Then he stopped and turned round. Perhaps he should sleep on the chair; just to keep an eye on things. He settled down opposite her and got as comfy as he could, putting his feet up on the table and putting a blanket over himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Out there...in here

Leonardo stood atop a roof waiting. He spent a lot of time like this when it came to Karai. Not that he minded. He liked to meet with her and it was good to have a break from his brothers. No doubt Raphael would mercilessly wind him up once he knew who he had met up with. Between him and Michelangelo they sure knew how to put the point across about this relationship with Karai. Mikey, however much the prankster was quite innocently teasing about these things. Leonardo didn't even know how much he knew about 'these things'. He was certain his brother had never had a girlfriend, although he'd harbored his fair share of crushes!

Raphael, on the other hand, did it for one purpose and one purpose alone, and that was to get a rise - to goad him to lose his temper. Leonardo practiced the art meditation and relaxation so he was certainly _not_ going to let his brother get to him. Besides Karai had been through enough, and although at first it had been an uneasy truce they were now politely settled in the realms of a 'flirtatious friendship'.

He didn't understand why it was that Raphael was being so awkward lately; so much more angry and so much more unsettled. All of them were grieving; they all missed Master Splinter with his guidance, strength and care. Why couldn't Raphael pull together, as a family, the way that Donnie and Mikey had done? Leaning on each other had really helped to ease the pain and the three of them felt like their bond had deepened.

Raphael had chosen to create even more of a distance and each day it felt like more and more that there were the three of them, and then there was Raphael.

He wanted to fix it but he didn't know how.

In that moment of deep thought he was kicked roughly from behind and knocked forward, Karai stood over him laughing. Instead of leaving him lying in a hopeless pile though she stuck out a hand and pulled him up. He rubbed his head.

"Nice to see you too" he muttered, feeling a dent in his pride as well as his skull.

"Oh c'mon Leo, you know I like to have fun" she replied smiling "Please don't be mad at me"

"I wouldn't exactly call me getting hurt 'fun'" he answered, brushing himself off.

"Oh, please, don't be such a baby" she teased lightly touching his arm in the process. Her contact made his stomach fill with butterflies and his face heat up. _Why did he still_ _react this way around her?_ It was so embarassing! He silently told himself to take a breath 'get a grip'.

Karai turned away and strolled over to the roof edge jumping up onto it and walking along, her arms outstretched appearing to balance like a high wire artist. This made him feel incredibly nervous. He knew she did it on purpose.

"So..how have you been? Raphael still behaving like a four year old?" Walking past him he couldn't help but appreciate her shapely figure. His mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry.

He coughed, trying to call up some moisture to his throat.

"Yes, he's still acting up"

"I don't know how you put up with it; I'd have thrown him out years ago, way before Splinter"

Leonardo avoided her gaze; he knew she had a point but Raphael was his brother and blood was a powerful bond.

"I want to help him"

She jumped down and stood next to him "I know" Once again she touched his arm "You're too good"

His face once again flushed up; he swore she realised as he saw her smile knowingly and remove her hand.

"So...did you find anything out?"

Now she sat on the ledge, her legs dangling loosely. "No 'how are you'? Just straight in with what I know?" She was still smiling.

He conceded defeat and smiled back: "Sorry, how are you?"

"I'm great. Things are great. Well, you know..." _Indeed he did!_

"...As for TCRI they are definitely up to something. I managed to find out that they are running behind a company called Novak, the CEO is heavily hidden - so much so that I couldn't find a name. They seem to have a fascination with something called The Source whatever the hell that means. I found no rooms with the images like she'd described and no mention of her - though it doesn't mean that it isn't true of course - you know TCRI, they are super efficient at hiding things"

Yes, he knew that all too well. It had been over five years though since they had encountered any Alien Robots or aliens for that matter. TCRI had come clean; come out and admitted that a number of things had happened in the past but that they were now legit and employed only humans. The Mayor had even opened the new layer of offices at the launch. On the surface everything looked good but Leonardo had a feeling that all was not as it seemed and Karai had always supported this. Her father, the Shredder, had been wiped out during a battle with the Kraang; the alien race hiding behind the corporate image of TCRI. And she, Karai, had been badly injured.

Of all people, Karai understood this whole situation, and for this he was grateful.

* * *

I woke up and for one tiny second I thought I was back in the hotel. Realising I was now blessed with severe back pain I clicked that this was no king size bed but was more of a lumpy sofa. I roused myself and sat up. Raphael was in the chair opposite and he was still sleeping. His peaceful countenance made me smile - this Raphael was a far cry from the angry, aggressive one that I had encountered earlier. I studied his face; wondering what he had been through to make him so mad. I know Leo had mentioned about their father's death but I found it hard to believe that it was that and that alone which troubled him so.

Turning round I stretched and then bent to fold up the blankets; my back cracked un-happily so I let out a groan. As a turned back round Raphael was sitting up awake and watching me intensely. I don't know why but for some reason my stomach flipped. A real actual flip and I swear I felt myself blushing. Coughing I turned back round and went to pick up my bundle.

"You stayed.." I announced, my voice sounding all quaky; _why on earth did I feel so goddamn emotional?_

"Well, I kinda figured you might feel a bit lost..it's no big deal" he replied, stepping past me.

 _No big deal? To him maybe but to me it shared he had a heart - he cared._ Otherwise he would have just left me on my own out here. I popped my pile of bed linen on the top of a large wooden chest that sat in the corner and then followed Raphael to the kitchen. He was getting some breakfast and in a series of grunts asked whether I was hungry too. I responded eagerly and sat down, offering him a smile which he chose not to return.

"Did you sleep okay?" I wanted to try to make some sort of conversational effort.

"No, not really, that chair is way too small for a guy of my stature..." He glanced at me and put a cup of tea on the table next to my hands "You?"

"Okay...did Leo come back?"

Perhaps I shouldn't have asked about Leonardo because I saw Raphael visibly bristling at the question. He buttered some toast and put a slice down for me "I didn't know he'd gone out so don't ask me" He remained standing as he munched his toast - _perhaps he was fed up of being in a chair? Or maybe he doesn't want to be next to you..._ came the whiny little naggy voice I'd had in my head since being bullied. I felt my eyes well up so to avoid the un-comfortableness that goes alongside a girl bursting into tears I picked up my tea and toast and beat a hasty retreat. I wanted to phone my mom and the police in the UK so it was a good excuse to move myself.

The home phone was still off line - the Police were polite but I swear they thought I was insane. They agreed to go and check the house and get back to me. Donatello had issued me with one of their custom built T-Phones so I was back on line with tech which was brilliant.

"Has Leo spoken with you?" Donatello's question immediately put me on edge. We were sitting in his lab after he'd given me a quick lesson in T-phone usage.

"No" I began "Why? I didn't think he was back yet"

"Oh he was back hours ago but you were sleeping so he left you to it"

"Have you slept?"

Donatello shook his head.

"Has Leo said anything to you? Did he meet Karai?"

"Oh yes, he met her, she couldn't say much though but had a nice little encryption stick for me - I'm just looking at it now. One thing though, the comp you won, do you remember entering?"

I smiled "No, I enter a lot. I do the lottery four times a week too - daft I know." I took in his expression and put my new toy in my pocket "Why? What do you know?"

"The company behind it have links with TCRI...what Leo and I reckon is you won on purpose. They fixed it to get you here"

"That's silly...why would they? I told you I'm no-one"

"Apparently not" Donatello turned the computer around and there were the reams and reams of photographs - all of me - all of me growing up, from baby, toddler, teenager and beyond.

I looked at him, shaking my head - not quite believing what I was seeing again.

"We just need to find out what they want and why they have interest in you" He gave me a sympathetic smile, put down the computer and carried on typing.

My head felt like it was going to explode. I wanted to march over to this TCRI place and demand answers, though I doubt I'd be given any.

"Can't we just ask them what they want?"

Donatello stepped away from the screen "It's not that easy. Look, there are things you really should know about TCRI..."

And so I listened as he proceeded to tell me about corporate cover ups and monsters. This, I concluded, was making me feel more and more like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole with no control and no understanding of what was to come.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Show me the way

In the darkened metallic room it waited. Waited until it could wait no more. Time seemed to drag along painfully and there was of course the realisation that the impossibility of this entire situation was putting the project at risk. Pressing the intercom a voice at the other end connected.

"Sir?"

"Come through to my office"

"Shall I bring anything with me sir?"

"No, bring nothing. Oh, and make sure you come alone"

"Okay Sir, right away"

Silence filled the room, a silence which appeared to provoke a feeling of expectation and hunger.

Some distance away a door opened and closed followed by the urgent 'click-click' sound of footsteps which reverberated off the wall, seemingly becoming the only sound to hear. The excitement it felt was almost tangible.

A firm knock came and then the pause, the pause until:

"Enter"

The instruction.

The man came inside. He was dressed head to toe in black, his hair stylishly slicked back, his skin clean shaven and his appearance that of someone wanting to impress.

"You wished to see me Sir?"

"I wished to see anyone. You just happened to pick it up". The reply was brusque, firm and deep. It brought a chill to the air - a chill which appeared to grasp at the man's chest and cause it to tighten.

"Sorry Sir"

"Yes, I should think so" The figure in the chair got up; it was tall, well built, intimidating. It made it's way around the desk to stand in front of the man who visibly seemed to shrink. It was pleased with this. "You are one of my workers yes?"

"Yes Sir"

"You are treated well yes?"

"Yes Sir"

"So why is it that no-one can find her. She's an english girl in a foreign city and yet no-one can find her. I would think she would stick out rather well wouldn't you?"

"Yes Sir, we've looked, we've.."

A hand slammed down on the desk "Not hard enough!" The sharpness in the voice caused the suited man to jump. It could feel the fear radiating from him like a beacon. Humans were so very easy to intimidate it was almost embarrassing and so easy to crush it could almost feel sorry for them.

"You have disappointed me. You will be used as an example as to what happens to those who disappoint me"

And as others who had gone before him - the man who stood in the metallic office knew he would pay for this with his life. The image of his wife and child popped into his mind. _God how he loved them._

* * *

"And you really believe that Karai took this seriously and that she has shared everything with us?" Raphael was holding Leonardo's gaze firmly, arms were crossed defensively over his broad chest and he had a look of doubt displayed on his face.

"Yes Raph I'm sure, besides she gave Donnie the info didn't she?" Leonardo felt he owed it to Karai to defend her; she had risked her life to go into TCRI to find information on a girl she didn't know. Why was it that Raphael insisted on giving him a hard time about it whenever she helped out?

Raphael turned to the other brother "You think that's all of it?"

Donatello nodded. He didn't want any arguments so preferred to act as peace keeper.

"Well, so long as _you're_ sure" replied Raphael sarcastically "That way, if it all goes wrong I get to blame you"

Taking a deep breath Donatello returned his attention to the group "It appears that they are after something known only as 'The Source' or 'Source X'. As yet I can't identify what this component is or what they want it for but..."

"When you say it fast enough it sounds like sex" announced Michelangelo. They all looked at him.

"I don't really think that's relevant Mikey but thanks for the observation"

"Always happy to help!" answered the youngest cheefully

Raphael shook his head "I'm surrounded by imbeciles" he muttered. A smile brushed across Rosie's lips. He noticed and for some reason it made him feel pleased.

"But what about this Novak company you mentioned?" Rosie's eyes were full of expectation and firmly rooted on Donatello waiting for a response that she wanted "Will my family be okay?"

Donatello gave her a sympathetic smile "I don't know about your family, sorry, I wish I did. But I do know that Novak are involved in science of a more controversial nature; cloning, gene splicing excetera.."

"So what has that do to with me? No-one in my family works in science...do you think that 'fake me' was a clone?"

"Don't have the answer to that without the paper trail or blood sample but what _I do_ know is that the name on your so-called competition was a pseudo name - and behind that - after much digging we find Novak and behind Novak we find..."

"TCRI" suggested Rosie

"Exactly"

Rosie thought for a little and then had an idea: "But if _you_ can find this, you can see this, how come others can't? Like the authorities, the police? People who can take real action and bring these bad guys to justice"

"Hey!" protested Michelangelo, giving her arm a prod "We can take real action, don't under-estimate us sister, and besides.." he began to giggle "Leo, tell her what you used to call us when we were younger..."

Leonardo immediately looked embarrassed "That was long ago Mikey"

"The Turtles of Justice!" said Michelangelo punching an arm in the air "You loved that didn't you bro?"

"Back to the point.." steered Donatello "I think that until I can hack into TCRI's mainframe we aren't gonna find out much more than what Karai has"

"Rubbish" snorted Raphael "I say we break in on our own little mission, we may find a few heads to bust"

"No chance. No-one is busting heads" ordered Leonardo "Not until we know more. If we break in we could put Rosie and her family at further risk"

"Her family are already at risk you idiot and as for her accompanying us that is definitely not what I'm saying! God no way, it's been bad enough when April has wanted to come but at least she's pretty nimble, this one would slow us right down"

I knew what he was getting at. This was not just a dig at my inexperience - this was yet another dig at my weight. I didn't know whether to hit him or ignore him. In the end I opted for the latter and chose to ignore him instead I moved closer to Donatello.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"Sure" He led me over to a quieter spot away from the others.

"Look Donnie, whilst I appreciate everything that you've done, I just think that the best thing is to go to the police, I can take the info and show them and then they can take it from here."

"And do you realise what they would say?"

I hesitated, trying to think of an answer that wouldn't sound daft.

"They'd slap on some handcuffs and you'd go straight to jail. This is hacking and theft in a big way - I don't think they would really understand and by the time they ever did investigate TCRI or Novak it would all this info would be vapourised"

"It's ridiculous and so unfair" I folded my arms and huffed - realising I looked exactly like Raphael I un-folded them and went to the kitchen, pulled out a chair and sat down.

Donatello edged up besides me and putting down the laptop also pulled out a chair "I know it's frustrating but we have to find evidence another way. The hacked and stolen items are for our eyes only. Sorry"

I knotted my fingers and fought against the lump that was rising my throat.

He patted my hands with one of his own "Tea? Not much but Master Splinter always used to say that 'if there was a problem at the start of a cup you'd have a solution at the end'" Getting up he clicked on the kettle and opened the cupboard to find some mugs.

"That was your father right? Sounds like a wise man"

"He was"

I watched as the tea was made and brewed and tried to think of something else to add. From one side I could still hear the sound of bickering between Leo and Raph; poor Splinter, how on earth the man put up with that every day was beyond me.

And then there was Donnie. He was intelligent, calm and reasonable. I had to trust him right? Even though I thought Raphael was a prick I had to trust Donnie and dear, dear Leo who had been nothing but kind and patient.

But oh I so feared for my family. The Police had been in touch saying that everything was fine. My mom was well and there was no sign that anyone else had ever been there; but the landline was down, apparently mom had said not to worry. We had even texted each other a couple of times having re-obtained her number from the Police.

 _I could never retain mobile numbers; I swear it was a part of my brain that was absent. Landlines yes, mobiles no._

But even after speaking with the Police part of me didn't know whether I could believe them. This whole thing was making me suspect foul play at every turn. So I decided that until I could speak to my mom directly I would remain on the alert until I could fly home. Which was at this point in the hands of the British Authorities as I waited for news of temporary papers.

A mug of steaming tea appeared in front of me.

"Spoken with your mom yet?"

His question snapped me out of my trance.

"No...problems with signals and lines apparently...we've texted though"

"Oh...good. You be okay?" He was standing over me with his own drink and the laptop.

"Yes, fine, retreat to your lab, I'll be...right here...just me, no police, I promise"

 _Hopeless. Out of control._

 _I was Alice._

 _Big fat Alice and no sign Wonderland._

And with that I gave myself leave to cry.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Change

Not for the first time since meeting the four, Michelangelo, the mere youngest of the group, had proven that he was right: Time did indeed go at a strange pace down here and I heavily suspected that the lack of sunlight was having a negative effect on me. I was prone to depression; in fact up until a few months ago I had been medicated for that very thing. Just before coming to New York I had toyed with the idea of making a GP appointment to get myself back on the stuff. Not saying that it was addictive and that I _needed it_ \- you just get used to it and I for one needed a top up of something.

I found that unless Mikey was around the lair (or dungeon as I'd come to nick-name it) was hardly a cheerful place. Donatello was usually in his lab, Leo was in the dojo training and Raphael spent most times in his room, kitchen or lounge. Whenever we came into contact he could barely string a sentence together and usually he just grunted and looked the over way. Though he'd said he didn't hate me I really thought otherwise and made a promise to myself that I would talk to somebody about it so that I could engineer a way to find out what his actually problem was.

Michelangelo was not serious enough for this particular task and Donatello was too serious; or too intellectual - one way or another, he just wasn't right. So I settled on Leonardo. He was in the dojo and had been in there since I'd woken up that morning after another disturbed sleep on the lumpy sofa. I had a couple of other things to ask him about anyways so he seemed to be the perfect candidate.

Before I entered the room I put an ear to the door. Good job too. There were two voices and one sounded female. I hesitated before hastily knocking and turning the handle. Once inside I saw that it was a female; a girl to be precise. A slim and pretty Japanese girl. _And oh my God could she fight_. I assumed that this was the infamous Karai. She soon had him on the floor and was sitting across him in a rather compromising way. At that point I suddenly felt like I shouldn't be there, like as if I was in the way, watching something secret. Leonardo was groaning and trying to remove what looked like rock iron thighs from being latched around his neck, in a quick move he flipped her over and held a large blade across her throat - the two of them froze and just looked at each other. I coughed; loudly. I had to. I didn't want to stand there watching whatever was going to happen next.

He got up and she looked at him and then me, ignoring his offer of assistance. Once she had got to her feet on her own steam she shot me a look then turned her attention back to her opponent: "Not bad Leo" she murmured gazing at him softly "Not as good as me, but overall, not bad"

Leonardo chuckled "Yeh right, you would have been toast and you know it"

They both then looked at me. The difference was the girl _did not_ look happy that I was there.

"Sorry to interrupt.." I began

"You're alright.." began Leonardo giving me a smile "Karai, this is Rosie, the girl I told you about, Rosie this is our friend Karai"

Karai glared at me and made no move towards my outstretched hand. _I didn't know why she too seemed to hate me - I'd only just met her!_ I put my hand away, feeling very embarrassed that I'd offered it in the first place.

"So you're Rosie, the girl who's TCRI's new target"

"I don't think so - I'm just ordinary, I keep saying that to the guys, it all seems so silly really"

She walked past me and picked up a towel and then walked back round to Leo whilst blatantly looking me up and down. "I'll give you that one" she muttered "Look Leo, I'm off, let me know when you want a re-match" She stepped up on tip toes and kissed him on the mouth. I looked away and shifted my feet awkwardly. "See ya ordinary girl" And with that she left; a smirk plastered on her face. It reminded me of my school days all over again. I was the fat kid being bullied by the popular girl. It made me feel a mixture of anger and sadness and truth be told I didn't know what to say to Leo now it was just him and I.

"How can I help you?" He was wiping the sweat off his skin as he stared at me waiting for a response. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. I had it all planned out in my head - what I would say and just how I would say it. Now it seemed so pointless and so daft. Karai had thrown me all off balance. She was so slim and graceful but so tough too. I felt like a silly little girl compared to her - worrying about whether or not someone liked me. Did I really care whether Raph had an issue anyway? If he did that would surely be his problem, not mine. I guess I'd just wanted to sort things out to keep the peace and make living here a little easier.

A hand suddenly appeared in front of my face "Hey, earth to Rosie, you were spacing"

"Uh - sorry. I just wondered about going out, going up to the surface - I'm getting a bit fed up...it's not good for me really" I shuffled on the spot and looked at my feet "I'd like some air...non-sewer air"

He thought about it for a moment then nodded "Good idea. You shouldn't go alone though - even though we don't much more, better to be safe"

"I have text my mom, she texted back really quickly...said all is good there but that the phone line is still down so no chance of a phone call as yet"

Leonardo frowned "Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?"

I frowned too "What do you mean?"

"Well, surely you could call to another number? Use a mobile even"

"You don't know my mom, she's hopeless with tech!"

My own words made my frown deepen. The text. It had come back so quickly. Too quickly. My mom took forever to text. And then there was the time difference. The colour must have drained from my face; visibly drained, because Leonardo took hold of my arm and led me to the single chair in the dojo, plonking me down on it.

"What is it?" he asked, keeping a tight hold of my hand

"You're right" I began in a quiet voice "It is odd...too odd" I could feel his concern.

"Okay, I've got an idea, we have another friend who could help...she's super cool...is it okay I tell her what's going on?"

Rosie nodded numbly and then whispered something about this friend being slim too. Leonardo instructed her to stay put and left the dojo bumping headlong into Raphael.

"Raph, can you help?"

Raphael stared at him "With what?"

"Rosie, she's in the dojo, I need to call April so could you sit with her?"

"What? Excuse me? You need me to babysit? No chance. I am not sitting with her" replied Raphael, shoving his brother out of the way and heading to the kitchen.

"Why? She's upset, she needs just someone to sit with her for a bit. I don't like leaving her"

"You just have! Look, you're that bothered, you go back and sit with her and I'll call April"

Leonardo snatched his brother's arm and pulled him away from looking in the fridge "Why are you being so nasty and unreasonable? You think dad would like you like this? He'd want us to help her. He'd want you to help me"

Raphael made like he was going to punch his brother but he hesitated and then dropped his arm "Dad's dead. What he wants doesn't matter no more"

"Oh it does brother because whether you like it or not he's in us, in all of us. Part of him is always going to be this way and the other part I for one think he's watching over us and I still want to make him proud."

They locked eyes, preparing to stand off, breathing deeply. Leonardo waited for the punch or sarky line to come but they didn't. His brother just stared at him and Leo swore he could make out tears in his eyes.

Eventually Raphael let out a groan and went towards the dojo "Okay, but you owe me.. _big time_...babysitter...what next.."

Though they were in the other room he could tell by the way that she looked at him that Rosie had heard every single word that had passed between him and Leonardo. Her big brown eyes were filled with sadness and for a moment or two he felt a little guilty. But then he checked himself and remembered where he was and who he was with. This girl had been nothing but a pain since day one. He ignored her gaze and walked over to the weapons wall where they kept their spare sets for training. Fingering the tip of a sai he allowed it to penetrate his skin.

"You don't have to be here" As she spoke, he noticed a slight tremble in her voice.

"I know" he replied confidently "But Leo asked me..so, for some reason unknown to me, here I am" He still didn't look at her.

"Why is it you hate me? I've never done anything to you" The tremble became a sob and a sniff. _Oh no_ , thought Raphael, _she's crying. What's Leo going to say now? No doubt he'll blame me._

This time he had no choice but to look. And yes there she was holding her head in her hands and sobbing.

"I don't hate you...I told you that" He went over to her and hovered "Look, don't cry...I didn't mean to upset you...sometimes I just say things, and do things...without thinking...sorry"

She raised her head and looked at him, her eyes were all red.

"I'm not good at this comforting stuff...I can only apologise"

This was beginning to feel really uncomfortable so he took a deep breath and pulled her up into a hug. Her small damp face pressed itself against his chest and hands were pressed in a push up position against him also but she did not push him back or fight the hug. In fact she appeared to melt into it and he felt her trembling body relaxing. He wasn't usually one for hugs but for some reason this was beginning to make him feel good too. Closing his eyes he stroked the back of her head with one hand and held her with the other. Dropping his head he smelt her hair. She smelt good. She felt good too; warm, soft and feminine.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Unravelling the Ties

It had come to understand much about the human race. One of their biggest weaknesses was this ever increasing need to _belong._ Human beings wanted to 'fit in'; to be part of a 'group' or feel the need to contribute in some way. They were also in need to belong to each other under some sort of alternative grouping be this through family ties, friendships or intimacy. And this was where all humans could be manipulated.

* * *

One moment I was being held closely in two strong arms, and, in a way, seriously starting to get comfy; the next I was dropped like a hot stone as Leonardo came back into the dojo. Raphael seemed to want to get away from me as fast as possible and was out of the room faster than I could think of something intelligent to say. Leo tapped his brother on the arm indicating a silent word of thanks and came over to me looking overtly cheerful.

"I have some really good news for you - we have someone who will go to see your mom for you, you know just to double check everything is okay over there.." He'd barely finished speaking when I jumped on him and squeezed. He chuckled and returned my hug "Happy then?"

"Yes! Thank you Leo" After a couple of minutes I let him go then looked at him quizzically "Who is it? Are they over there already?"

"They aren't but their sister is. Our friend April has a sister who's in England. Should have thought of it before really..sorry"

"Well you have thought of it now and that's great. Thank you" There was no disguising it, boy was I pleased. This lady would go and check on mom and everything would be fine.

It all should have been that simple really. I had it planned out in my head and in the process of my planning I seemed to have mislaid the person who was pretending to be _me_ along with a lot of other things that hadn't quite added up so far. No, in my head everything would be perfect...well, maybe not that far but as near to perfect as my dysfunctional family could be. Never in my most darkest thoughts did I ever imagine what I was going to be told.

"You're in a good mood" Michelangelo was keeping me company outside. He had fancied taking his skate board out for a run and Leonardo had agreed. It was a rare opportunity to get some fresh air away from the lair. City air was hardly floral but it definitely smelt a lot better than the musky aroma which the lair provided. Mikey was pretty good on his board. I sat and watched, clapping each time he did a trick. That only spurred the youngest on even more - he loved an audience - and I loved being with him; he was a real tonic to that side of me which could get so depressed.

"When do you think you'll be going home?" He flipped up the board, caught it and sat down next to me on the ledge.

"Why? You trying to get rid of me?"

He shook his head and linked my arm "No way sister, you're way too precious, I just get how it must be tough being away from your mom that's all"

"Then you don't know my family" I put my head on his shoulder "We're not that sort of family..not overly close I mean"

"That must be tough babs.." He didn't ask me anything else; The silence suggesting that perhaps he understood.

"Anyway" I continued "You know I have to wait for temporary papers - and that will probably take long enough considering all the complications that go along with my situation"

"I guess.." He jumped up and quickly spotted Leonardo "Hey bro...you come to grind some"

The blue banded leader looked as far from the jovial guy I had encountered earlier "Not today Mikes, I've come to collect you both and take you back home"

"Seriously? You make us sound like kids. We were having fun up here and we're going to come in after another hour or two.." whined Michelangelo, stomping his feet like a toddler.

"I know bro, sorry, another time perhaps" He locked an arm around Michelangelo's neck and pulled him to the side whispering something which had me curious because the youngest turtle's face fell from beaming to despair within less than minute. They both then looked back at me.

"What?"

Leonardo stepped towards me "Let's get you back"

I remained firm, refusing to move "Why? What's wrong?"

He didn't respond but instead gave me one of _those_ looks. The type of look where someone doesn't know what to say but is trying to communicate some sort of something. My mother would often give me that look when I asked her if what I was wearing was okay. This type of communication could speak more than a thousand words and sometimes it could a thousand times more painful. Leonardo was telling me something and he was expecting me to understand what he was saying and judging by the way in which he held my eyes, and the tears that had welled up in Mikey's, this had something to do with my family.

"Tell me" I mumbled, folding my arms across my chest "Not moving till you do"

"It's not that easy.." began Leonardo

"Yes it is" I snapped "She's gone isn't she?"

This second silence said it all. I put a hand briefly over my mouth reverting from the shock of it all I stepped backwards.

"I'm so very sorry kiddo. C'mon, let's get you back home" Leo offered an arm and Mikey took my other so that both could lead me forwards along the rooftop and back to the safety of underground. It was there where I was apparently introduced to April, made to drink tea and cuddled a lot by Mikey. Raphael was sitting opposite; his eyes locked with mine only once before he coughed and looked away.

I remember there were voices; a lot of voices which were talking at me but all I heard was noise. Shock was somehow dulling my ability to understand and translate language.

Raphael did not know what to do. He really didn't want to be there but knew that to leave would not look good and he didn't want April to think he was heartless. Rosie looked so vulnerable and lost. She was surrounded by others but the look in her eyes said she did not even acknowledge that there was anyone there at all.

April stood her up "She needs to rest, Raph, can I pop her in your room? I'll stay with her"

He didn't quite know why she'd asked to put Rosie in his room but as it was April asking he felt like he couldn't say no; he liked April and couldn't let her down.

Leonardo sighed "Poor kid, I mean how do you get through something like that?"

"It's so sad.." whispered Michelangelo, brushing away a tear.

Raphael huffed, stood up and walked to the kitchen. He put a hand either side of the sink and closed his eyes.

"You okay brother?" Leonardo appeared at the side of him and gingerly touched his shoulder. Usually Raphael would flinch and then shake him off; this time though he didn't, instead he just stood there "Brings it all back I know"

"Hardly" replied Raphael "Splinter wasn't roasted in a fire was he?"

"No but it's all loss, we all go through the same feelings eventually"

Raphael felt frustrated "It's just not the same Leo and you know it. Splinter was old. Rosie's mom wasn't." He took a deep breath "What are the police going to do? They have to help her now"

"That's just it" he whispered "according to them she was responsible - they have a warrant out for her; she's been set up Raph so you know what that means"

"No Leo I don't know what that means, what is it that you're getting at?"

"They've set her up big time and if she goes back home she'll be in such trouble, is that what you'd want for her?"

Raphael shook his head "I don't believe it...these people can't just get away with this and if we ignore it we are giving them license to do just what they want"

"I know but what can we do? These people are obviously not messing about. They must want her pretty bad. I suggest we hold tight and see what Donnie and April can come up with; her sister is on the first flight over from the UK, she's a research scientist"

"Whoop di do!? It's bullshit Leo is what it is and they just can't be allowed to get away with this kinda crap" Storming out of the room he left his brother alone. Leonardo could understand where Raphael was coming from but he didn't see the point in getting angry. Splinter would always say that anger 'solved nothing' and 'would cloud the reason of the mind'. Saying that to his brother though would just cause even more aggro so he kept silent.

Later on in the evening after April had left Raphael sat quietly in his room watching Rosie sleeping. He was amazed how she could sleep considering the news she had received but she had said several times that they weren't close as a family; perhaps that's why she hadn't cried yet. Everyone grieved differently; well, his brothers seemed to grieve all the same - he, it appeared, was the odd one out. He wondered if Rosie was the odd one out in her family and that's where the divide stemmed from.

Her arm was out over the quilt and even in the low light he couldn't help but notice the scars that covered her skin. Scars, he'd learnt, that had come from years of self harming. That is why, Leo had explained, he didn't want her left in the dojo on her own.

Raphael didn't know much about self harming but he knew what it was to be pushed to the edge. He got like that too. Perhaps it would be that he and Rosie would have more in common than he first thought.

* * *

"It's all gone according to plan Sir. The mother is out of commission meaning the daughter has no-where else to go but to stay put"

It felt pleased "Good..what other news?"

"We have identified the second intruder - someone your host knew - a girl named Karai. Our soldiers are tracking her down right now - we expect to have her in custody before the night is through"

"Good, good, excellent...you are all commended for your work"

This was all moving in the right direction.

Humans. _Such a simple species._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: From past comes future

. _..24 years ago..._

The man struggled forward keeping his precious bundle close to his chest, shielding her as best as he could from the oncoming winds. This place was barren, dark and dreary. A glimpse of a future that could be but as yet was not.

"You are a fool old man, do you think you can really get away?" The deep voice boomed out of the darkness - he did not know where the voice was coming from but he knew to whom it belonged. Turning around he grasped the Cylinder in his left hand, keeping it hidden from view.

"I am no fool Shadow, it is you who is the fool and it is you who will lose"

Using his fingers to twist the device he prayed this would work and take him and his baby girl to safety...

...The front door was just as he imagined and he could feel the warmth radiating from inside.

He laid her down on the step; his heart feeling as if it was going to break into a thousand pieces. He gazed at his beautiful child.

"I am sorry my darling, but this is all I can offer you, your time with me is no longer safe, He will come for me I am sure that I cannot risk that end for you. Be bold, be strong and be happy." He kissed the child's forehead; her big brown eyes were fixed on this man; the only man she had known for her first short months of life.

"And if it finds you, I hope it finds you strong and determined and ready to fight. May the light guard and guide you my little one. Keep safe"

Getting to his feet he knocked the door and as soon as it was opened and the child picked up in arms he knew his job was done.

* * *

. _..Present day..._

I yawned and opened my eyes, turning over I noticed that Raphael was laying out next to me on top of the bed whilst I was under covers, but he was facing away so I couldn't tell whether he was asleep or awake. I also didn't know what time it was and was desperate to ask.

As if anticipating my question, or perhaps he'd felt me move, he sat up on the edge of the bed he stretched one way then another; I couldn't help but watch slightly open mouthed at the movement of his body and the flex and change of his muscles. His shell looked worn yet smooth and for some bizarre reason I really wanted to touch it. Standing up he looked round, his eyes meeting my own and I noticed he wasn't wearing his trade-mark mask. Leonardo told me all about the colours they wore and the significance so that I wouldn't think they just dressed up for the Hell of it.

"You okay?" His question took me by surprise. I really hadn't expected that to be the first thing out of his mouth.

I nodded; feeling slightly dumbfounded.

"Hungry?"

He splashed water on his face along with something else, rinsed then towel dried before re-applying the mask. I was still slightly speechless and realised at this point that I was unashamedly staring at him.

"Do you want cereal? Toast?"

I sat up "I, err, don't mind" I whispered.

"I'll go see what there is then" And with that he left.

Did he want me to get up and out of his room? Probably. I could imagine he wasn't overly happy that I slept here in the first place. I hadn't meant to but must have just drifted off. Clambering across the bed I stood up and went over to the mirror; god I looked terrible. Hardly surprising though really. A knot tightened in my stomach as my brain kicked in, so, I did as Raphael had done and splashed some water onto my face to refresh myself and then borrowed his towel to get dry. It smelt like him: manly.

Raphael was pottering in the kitchen when Donatello and Leonardo joined Michelangelo by the entrance; the youngest was studying his older brother quite seriously.

"What are you doing Mikey?"

"Shush D...it's Raph...he's making breakfast... _for a girl_ ; for Rosie" replied Michelangelo in a quiet voice, not moving his eyes away from the scene.

"I can hear you little brother and if you make another comment like that you'll be wearing breakfast..got it?"

Raphael turned round - a bowl of cereal in one hand and a cup of tea in the other - they all stared.

"It's just breakfast god dammit; nothing major"

But to the others it was major; Raphael never made breakfast for anyone and hardly ever made it for himself, typically he would get Michelangelo to do it. Leonardo stepped up to him.

"You up for some training this morning?"

"Sure" replied Raphael enthusiastically "I'll just take these through and then I'll be with you"

"How's she doing?"

"She appears to be coping" He walked away but turned to call back: "I'll see if she wants to watch us shall I?"

The three remaining brothers all looked at each other as he left.

"Is he feeling okay?" asked Donatello "That was not like very Raphael-like"

"I know right? And he wants to train with us! Something isn't right there..Do you think it's a fake one like what Rosie had?"

Leonardo put an arm round Michelangelo's shoulders "Maybe he's realising there is more out there than just himself. Don't complain; it's a good thing"

"I know...but _it's freaky!_ I'm so used to him being rude and grumpy it just seems strange..I mean he made breakfast for someone else! What will he do next?"

Raphael gave me my breakfast; which quite frankly I hadn't expected him to make but he did. It seemed like he was all surprises today as he then invited me to watch them train. I think it was another ploy to keep an eye on me but agreed nevertheless and followed him to the dojo.

It was an amazing room. I had never actually noticed it before but it was quite beautiful and seemed to excrete a calming aura so I settled in the corner and got myself comfy to watch.

* * *

Karai couldn't remember much. Her head felt heavy and sore when she woke up. Taking in her surroundings she found herself in a metallic room tethered to a chair by her wrists and ankles and two men in black standing either side of what looked to be the only means of escape.

She wriggled against the restraints but owing to the fact that they too, were constructed of metal, she was stuck fast.

"What is this?" she screeched "Why am I here? I demand to speak to who ever is in charge!"

The men at the door didn't even look at her.

"Hey! You two! What? Are you like deaf or something?"

They still didn't respond so she tried to move again but it was no use.

"Karai" A deep voice echoed into the room "You will not be able to escape - I've tested those restraints myself"

"Pervert" she muttered

"You won't be going anywhere until I say so"

"And who are you? Why have you brought me here?"

"So many questions..." replied the voice "And you'll get your answers in time...but for now...you will keep your mouth shut and listen."

"Make me!" yelled Karai, struggling once again.

A beeping sound saw one of the men spring into action - striding forward confidently he pulled out what looked like a gun and he pressed it to her thigh; holding it steady as if waiting for the next instruction.

"This is a _real_ gun foolish girl so if you so much as utter one word whilst I am talking a very large bullet will be released into your flesh...do you understand?"

Karai was not one to be intimidated and she wanted to shout back but instead she just nodded and felt really annoyed at herself for being so compliant.

"Good...I am glad you can be taught to co-operate. After all, I am not the enemy here, you are the one who broke into my facility and stole information...important information" There was a slight pause before it continued "I am looking for a girl, a girl you know doubt know. This girl is dangerous and I want her in my protective care here... and you are going to help me catch her...if you do not then I will wipe out your other little friend"

"What other friend? What are you talking about you big prick? If you think you can..."

BANG! The bullet drove into her thigh and lodged deep into her muscle. The pain was excruciating and Karai couldn't help but let out a moan through her lips even as she kept them pressed together.

"I told you! I warned you! Now I think I was very clear about that don't you? Silly, silly girl..."

The voice went quiet. The man that stood over her stood back and watched as the doors to the room clicked then opened. A large cloaked figure entered, its's heavy footsteps making their way towards her. Karai raised her head and looked up.

"Oh my God..." The words came in her head; whether she had said them out loud she couldn't be sure "It can't be...it can't..."

"Yes...believe it Karai...believe it..."

The large figure in front of her looked like the Shredder, had the presence of the Shredder but somehow something was different. His face was covered by a helmet and as he removed it she could see how much different. Whatever this _thing_ was it was _not_ her father.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Pain and pressure

The morning passed by fairly quickly. I watched them all train and it really did help to take my mind off things, for a while, especially with Mikey's constant joking. I liked his humor but was quite sure that Raphael did not share my opinion. On several occasions, under Leonardo's watchful eye, red and orange would end up in a scuffle and it was usually brought about because the youngest was taking the mickey or misbehaving. And whilst it made me smile to myself, Raphael would grab his brother in a headlock and punch him. Luckily Leo would get it back in hand and all would be okay for a while until the next time.

Exiting the dojo sweaty and pumped up Raphael was the first to 'bag' the shower but was out in a couple of minutes, large towel in hand, water droplets glistening on his dark emerald skin inevitably I found myself staring again. And as he looked round, his eyes meeting mine briefly I could feel my cheeks heating up.

 _What was the deal with me?_

It was making me feel awful. Here I was apparently 'lusting' after a six foot reptile and my mom had been murdered only the day before. And just to add insult to injury I still hadn't officially cried over her death. Truth was I felt next to nothing. Yes I was in shock and perhaps after a few days I _would_ cry but apart from the odd stomach spasm of nausea I felt absolutely no reaction what-so-ever.

I could feel Leo watching me closely, could hear him whispering with the others and it was plainly about me. It was like they were waiting for me to snap; waiting for me to start to grieve like a 'normal' person would. But we were not a normal family. Yes I loved my mom, of course I did, and the same went for my sister - but we did not spend regular time together so over the period following my father's death we just drifted apart. I'd been angry, so angry and bitter, and it was fair to say jealous too - jealous of the relationship my sister Joanne had with my mom, but that eventually subsided and now I just couldn't be bothered. I had never felt good enough for them so as a result; rather than be judged; I had cut myself off. I saw my sister once a year and my mom around once a month. We spoke on the phone and sent texts but that was about the totality of our family relationship.

It was sad. It felt sad. But I never blamed any of them for my mental health struggles - that was just me; my make-up. A 'chemical imbalance' they call it.

"How you doing?"

Raphael's deep voice shot me out of my trance. He plonked down opposite me; a comic book in his grasp.

"I'm okay" I muttered, keen to get off this topic I thought I'd change the subject so I homed in on the comic book: "You collect them I notice?"

He opened it and disappeared behind the colourful characters.

"Yep. Allows me to have an escape"

"I used to do that with books"

He lowered the comic and frowned at me "Used to? You don't read no more?"

"No...I mean, _I do._..just not as often as I'd like"

"What do you usually read?" The comic book was raised up once again following the question.

"Oh, lots of different things...I like true life things best like true life stories..." _I knew I was sounding like an idiot..._

"Hmmp" His grunt of a response said a lot. He obviously wasn't into the same reading material as me.

Just as our conversation was getting started it was pulled to a halt by the entrance of two females into the lair. Michelangelo was over straight away throwing his arms around the red-head who I remembered as April O'Neil. She gave me a brief smile that came across as more like a pity look then introduced the other woman as her sister, Robyn. Leonardo shook her hand as Mikey bounced over to me.

"She's hot" he breathed

"You think every female who comes here is hot" replied Raphael shaking his head "Though.." he added, looking at Robyn "I do see where you're coming from with this one"

"Sos bro but on this occasion you are way off target...I don't think Rosie's hot...sorry Rosie"

"Thanks Mikey" I mumbled, feeling slightly awkward at his admission

"Hey I don't mean it _like that_...I mean you're like a sister to me and to fancy your sister would be so wrong don't you think?"

I nodded "Guess so" My attention was now elsewhere, I was watching Raphael and Robyn chatting together. They were blatantly flirting. I had grown to like Raphael to the point which I knew I actually kinda fancied him but silently, and obviously, realised that he wouldn't be interested in someone like me - I mean why would he be? He was fit, athletic where as I wasn't. Seeing him with Robyn hurt a little but perhaps was the wake up call I needed to shake off my crush.

"How are you?" I had been so distracted I hadn't noticed April sit down next to me. I looked at her and realised just how stunningly pretty she was. Looking then at her sister I realised she was so very pretty too, shorter, darker hair but slim and gorgeous just like April. No wonder they were all drooling over her.

"I'm okay...getting there I guess..." I felt like an elephant next to her. And an ugly elephant at that.

"You're doing so great...I am really impressed with how you're dealing with everything" She glanced over to her sister "Hey Robyn..come and meet Rosie" The other girl smiled at her sister, touched Raphael's arm and then came over and blinded me with her overly white teeth.

"Hey.." she began sticking out a hand "I'm so very sorry"

I shrugged and shifted my gaze to the floor but nonetheless took her hand politely and shook it. I noticed that along with her other perfections she had beautifully painted nails. My fingers looked like sausages and my nails were rather overly bitten, once again I felt like I wanted the room to just swallow me up.

She dragged a chair forward and sat on it "I'm here to help...if there is anything you need, like anything, do let me know"

"I'm fine, thanks"

"I'm sure you're not but..well, I'm here anyway...I am actually hoping to do some work with _that_ young man if that would be okay?" She pointed one perfectly manicured finger at Donatello, who blushed deeply.

"April says you're a scientist" interrupted Raphael who once again was blatantly checking her out from the comfort of the other sofa.

She flashed him a brilliant smile "Yes...genetics and research" Turning back to Donatello she got up "Can I have a nosy at your lab?"

"Sure"

I closed my eyes. This was getting too much. I'm sure Robyn was a nice person but she I felt like she had come in here and was taking over what felt like MY SPACE. It really hurt.

Raphael followed the others to the lab. They were all behaving as if they had never seen a girl before. April stayed with me but quite frankly I just wanted to be on my own. She seemed to sense that I was having some sort of distress and took hold of my hand.

"I'm going to pick up some things for you, clothes, toiletries..would that be okay?"

I nodded "Thank you"

She squeezed my hand with her own "Ignore my sister...she can be a bit O.T.T at the best of times but she has a good heart"

A lump rose up in my throat as I thought about my own sister; I really hoped that she was doing okay.

The lair door swung open and Karai practically fell through into the lounge. It snapped me out of my spiraling depression and brought me right back to the present.

"You, it's you...Help me...please" she whispered before collapsing to the floor. The wound in her leg was an obvious gun shot. April raced to get Donnie whilst I sat with Karai. This day was going from bad to worse.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Belonging Nowhere

Karai drifted in and out of consciousness as Donatello worked on the wound. He successfully removed the bullet from her flesh and was in the process of stitching her up. The words she muttered did not appear to make much sense so Leonardo gently held her hand whilst keeping her relaxed.

"What do you suppose happened to her?" whispered Michelangelo; watching closely as his elder brother rubbed her fingers between his own.

"Err, I'll warrant a guess that she was shot" replied Raphael sarcastically.

"I know that Raph...I meant..."

Leonardo patted his little brother on the arm "Ignore him; I know what you were referring to...and in response we can hopefully find out once she's feeling better"

Raphael went to the door and stood by Robyn.

"It's such a stark reminder of where I am" she muttered "And that's why I moved to England"

"Hey, it happens everywhere nowadays. Nice for you to see April though..she must be pleased that you're back"

Robyn smiled at him "Of course she is - delighted that she has to share her apartment, her food and her life. She loves it!"

"You two seem close though.." chuckled Raphael "Unlike us bunch of misfits"

She turned to him and locked his eyes were her own. _This girl sure was super confident_ , he noted, _and he sure liked that in a woman_

"You guys aren't misfits...you're adorable" she began, pursing her lips before continuing "When April told me about you I didn't quite believe it but here you are...all real and big" Reaching forward she lightly grasped his bicep "You must work out a lot to get guns this size...I am so impressed!"

After seeing Karai into the lab I had decided to keep out of the way. I thought it was time for a bit of self-preservation and I didn't really know how much more of the flirting I could take and now that Karai was here Leonardo would be fawning over her so I would yet again be reminded that I was well and truly all alone. Having flicked through a couple of magazines I sat back; crossing over my ankles I briefly studied my legs. They didn't look too bad in these pants; I guess the lycra included in the composition worked in my favour and held everything in place.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the most overwhelming feeling that I wasn't alone. I shifted forward and looked around the room. It was empty. However, the feeling would not go. It niggled at me and made my hair at the back of my neck stand up. I was just about to ask out when Raphael, Robyn, April and Michelangelo came out of the lab so I quickly sat back in my seat.

"You okay?" April sat down next to me "Karai will bounce back; tougher than steel that one"

"We know" added Raphael "That's why old Fearless likes her so much - makes up for his _lack of_ steel"

"Oi!" scolded April leaning forward and giving him a smack.

Robyn had perched herself next to Raphael on the arm of the chair. I suddenly felt the need to roll my eyes but restrained from doing so and instead smiled at April and scooting forward I got up and headed to the kitchen.

"She looks like she's seen a ghost" said Robyn not so quietly. At that point I did allow myself to roll my eyes; more out of frustration than anything. I have no idea why, but this new girl frustrated me. Well, actually, I did know why: it was because I had a 'thing' for Raphael and I was 'put out' that she was being so flirty. Contest between her and I and a guy who both liked - literally any guy - she would win hands down... _every single time._

I got myself a glass of water and was just about to leave the kitchen and pop into the lab when I ran headlong into Raphael which promptly caused me to splosh my water everywhere including over him.

"Um..sorry" I muttered as he wiped himself down

"I've had a shower but thanks for the re-run"

"I didn't know you were there..sorry"

He put a hand on my shoulder and stepped past me - the touch caused my stomach to flip and my private area to spasm in response. _Jees._ I felt my cheeks burn and wondered if he noticed.

"I'm not exactly unmissable...6 foot 5 kinda puts a stop to that" He reached up and grabbed two glasses from the shelf and a can from the fridge. _He was obviously getting Robyn a drink...and it looked like they were going_ _to share._

I suddenly felt sick - to hide my shame and embarrassment I scurried away to the lab and snook inside. Karai was sitting up. She had more colour in her cheeks; well as much colour as she was likely to get being so pale skinned; and she looked a lot brighter. Her reaction to me though wasn't overly flattering.

"Why's she here?" Her eyes seemed to pierce right through me

"She's staying here and you know why" whispered Leonardo softly

Karai looked at him and then at their hands which were still intertwined with each other.

"He said she's dangerous" she continued "She's dangerous and you should get rid of her"

"He was bound to say something like that - we've talked about this"

 _Hey? What? Had I missed something? Who had said what?_

My face must have communicated something along those lines and straight away Leonardo dropped Karai's hand whilst Donatello shot him a 'sort it' expression.

"Karai was picked up by something - we have no idea what it is though it bears somewhat of a resemblance to her father - apparently this individual mentioned about you. He..it..wanted her to bring you in. They knew we'd all been to TCRI so we've nailed their involvement but the problem is any sort of blame is going to ensure that they close rank and shut down completely. So...I've...we've suggested she stay here for now and keep a low profile; they've picked her up once, they will do it again".

He was looking at me like he expected me to understand what on earth he had just said. All I could think about was that Karai was going to stay here. That particular realisation made me want to stay elsewhere.

"Well if she's a priority I..I should go..." I mumbled, feeling my cheeks flush up again. I realised that I sounded like a complete twat but I was by now too far gone to actually care. _I am drowning,_ I thought to myself, _so I may as well weight myself down further._

Leonardo took hold of my shoulders with his hands and gripped me quite firmly "No...you don't get it...this whatever it is wants _you_ , not Karai, and we need to find out why."

Donatello coughed.

"And Donnie is working on that aren't you? Thank you Donnie" He released me and went back to Karai "So for now you are both staying here - safe and where we can keep an eye on you"

"But..." I began

Leonardo held up a hand "No buts Miss Taylor..."

I had thought that Karai's father had been killed in a battle. Perhaps this new version was a bit like the extra 'me' who had popped up. Whatever he - it - was, my life had been completely altered as a result.

"There would be no way of me getting back into TCRI - any of us I should think - so how are we gonna figure this out?" The question was not aimed at me in any way, shape or form for Karai looked directly at Leonardo only.

"Well, I'm thinking on that one, and as well as Donnie we now have Robyn"

I felt like asking ' _what on earth is she going to do?'_ because so far all she'd done was flirt with Raphael!

"She certainly knows her stuff - perhaps you two can hook up?" Leonardo glanced at his brainy brother who was furiously blushing having took the comment a little further than intended.

"We're going to work together if that's what you mean Leo; we've already set up a date..I mean, a time"

OMG! Robyn was certainly causing a great deal of chemical reactions around here - I couldn't help it but yet again I sent out another eye roll. Karai was staring at me and it was clear from her face that she'd clocked me. Already feeling completely useless I now let in another wave of embarrassment just to finish the job completely.

Realising that I had nothing else to say and quite literally no role in this little operation I ducked my head and went of the door; ignoring the call of Leonardo and the stares from everyone else as I re-entered the lounge. My new bee line was for the dojo. At least that was somewhere I could have some space to think.

I hated this day. I hated this feeling. I wanted to cry.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Talk talk

He was done for. He could feel the energy rapidly disappearing from his body; causing him to weaken. Not his spirit though. His spirit would refuse to weaken; he would always keep fighting no matter what and nothing would change that.

"Are you afraid of death Oroku Saki?" A dark voice boomed

"NO...Never! I am afraid of nothing!" The pain in his body was intensifying, his eyelids grew heavy

"Good...that is what I wanted to hear...this does not have to be the end for you...this, in fact, could be just the beginning..."

* * *

I sat in the dojo in a kneeling position. It felt natural and helped to calm me down. I did manage to maintain this position for a good couple of minutes until my feet started to go numb and develop pins and needles so I had to move. I then decided to change my perspective completely around and lie down instead. Stretching out my limbs I allowed my muscles to completely relax. The ceiling in the dojo was beautifully painted; I imagined that it was their late father who had completed the artwork. Slowly I took a deep breath in and then let it out and closing my eyes and gradually unwinding. I could still see the painting in my mind like as if my brain had taken a snap shot and saved it on my hard drive.

"Wakey wakey" The deep tones of Raphael made me jump about six feet in the air and I sat up way too quickly which in turn made me dizzy. I clutched my head.

"Don't you knock" I snapped, fighting against the rising need to lie back down

"Not usually to my own dojo no" he replied; the break in his voice indicating that he was quite obviously laughing at me.

"Well perhaps you should start" Having finally regained my composure I clambered up to stand beside him.

"Don't usually come across girls lying on the floor in here either...you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay"

"Robyn is assisting Professor Brainiac in the lab and Leo mentioned you were a bit overwhelmed so I figured I'd come and check on you"

I crossed my arms over my body in defense "There was no need because I _was not_ overwhelmed, I have _never_ been overwhelmed so he shouldn't say that... I was a little 'shocked' that's all - there is a big difference"

"Sure there is...huge"

I chose to ignore the obvious sarcasm and continue: "Did he tell you?...about Karai's experience?"

"Karai told me about Karai's experience - she has attitude and then some and one important thing you should know - it is _never_ her fault. Fearless is kinda soft on her."

"What? like you are on Robyn..?"

There. It was out. I had said it and, no, I could not do a single thing to mask the bitterness in my voice.

He stood there silently, thoughtful, and I could feel his eyes boring into me as he glanced my way. Confidently I looked up and met his stare.

"What? It's true isn't it? You obviously like each other - could her flirting get any more ridiculous, I mean, show some dignity"

Raphael raised his brow ridge and then gave me a smirk "Jealous?"

Oh my Gawd! I cannot believe he just said that. My face was now instantly on fire. I quickly moved away and went to look at one of the tapestries hanging on the wall. It too was beautifully made with ancient Japanese figures, trees and wildlife. All the while I tried to calm down my colour. He followed my lead and stood by me.

"It was fathers" he announced simply

I was a little taken aback "He made it?"

"He did"

"Wow.." I breathed, reaching forward to touch the design, it felt like silk.

"He was good with his hands...crafts and things...not like me and my two shovel ends..I'm good at punching things and that's about it"

"I'm sure that's not true" I answered, still studying the art and feeling relieved that my blush seemed to have disappeared and I was now back to normal temperature "I'm sure you have lots of skills...martial art is a skill in itself and you are a ninja"

Raphael stared at her. She wasn't joking. Her face was completely serious.

The reddish tinge that had covered her cheeks had faded to a flushed up pink. He shouldn't have wound her up but seriously she did kinda ask for it and he enjoyed pushing her buttons.

"You miss him every day I bet? I was like that with my dad too"

He looked back to her; she was still admiring the tapestry, exploring each element with tiny fingers "These birds are so beautiful"

"I didn't know you'd lost your father...I'm sorry"

He genuinely didn't; Leo had not mentioned that Rosie had also lost her other parent - he'd said she'd been depressed but now Raphael was beginning to understand why.

"He got sick, really sick. In the end there was nothing they could do. I never went to see him when he was on life support and I'm glad I didn't - I would always have that image in my mind if I had - now I have the tall, happy man that I adored and no-one can take that. You should always hold onto those special memories" She stepped away and turned on her heel to face him "I guess I am officially an orphan now"

"But not on your own...you've got Mikey; your 'adopted' brother and trust me, ain't no getting rid of him now he's made an attachment" Raphael was desperate to try and lighten the atmosphere.

"He's lovely..you should be nicer to him" Her lips turned up into a smile

"He's a pain in the ass but a unique pain in the ass"

"You're lucky to have him - you're lucky to have all of them - my family are so far apart we may as well have been on different planets half the time. I miss my father and I miss my baby - I loved them both so very much but they left me...here I am getting all morbid..sorry...you can see why I was on medication though"

She was staring at her feet and shifting her weight from side to side.

"Baby?" _God, he didn't know she'd lost a child as well._

"Not quite the 'baby' you think...she was my dog; my substitute child - had her for three years and we did everything together then one day... she was run over...I still remember it like it was yesterday...I only ever felt pain like that when I lost my father...it hurts right here" She put a hand over her chest "I never knew you could feel real physical pain from loss"

"I know, it hurts like Hell" Raphael hung his head.. _were they having a connection?_ "But..., a dog, can't you just get another dog?"

She vehemently shook her head "No! Never..that's like saying can't you get another father? Do you understand nothing about me? Like literally nothing!?..."

Raphael felt like saying 'no' but didn't think it would go down too well so he stayed quiet. A knock at the door interrupted - _or rather saved_ \- him having to make a response at all. Leonardo popped his head round.

"Hey guys - Donnie wants a word Rosie okay?"

She shot a severe glare at Raphael and then exited the dojo. Raphael really couldn't work this girl out. It was as if he got to a certain level and then it all went weird again. He looked back at the tapestry. Some of the things she had said were really... _special._

I followed Leo into Donatello's lab only to be passed by Robyn and Karai - both of whom looked suddenly overly 'paly'. I couldn't believe that they had become best buddies since my time out of the room. Though, I thought to myself, why should I be that shocked - this again was just like school! The popular pretty girls all band together and the chubby nerdy ones get left out.

Then it was just Donnie and I. He wasn't the most communicative of the gang but for once I was glad it was just him and me. He didn't tend to bring the drama.

"Take a seat" He motioned towards a chair so I did as I was told "Okay, well I've been doing some digging - our new friend Robyn showed me a few new things"

 _I bet she did,_ I thought to myself, _if it's green, she's on it._

"And this... pulled up this!...now you need to be prepared but I really think it's important"

He clicked on a couple of keys and up popped a certificate. A certificate of adoption. A certificate of adoption for me.

My mouth dropped open.

 _Impossible.._

"Your real family could have been involved with what is going on at TCRI and that is why you are so important to them - this could be part of the missing link"

He carried on talking but I wasn't listening, the laptop he had handed to me slid off my lap onto the floor with a loud smash.

"Hey...oh darn it...screen's cracked"

The screen was cracked - my whole world had just fallen apart for a second time and he was worried about his laptop screen.

I wanted to stand up and shout but I found that I couldn't move; my feet were literally stuck to the ground and my bottom glued to the chair.

 _There had to be a mistake._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Making sense

I couldn't understand it. I didn't really want to understand it though as understanding would mean accepting it as truth and it _was not_ true, it couldn't be - I mean, I _looked_ like my father, we had the same eyes and the same hair colour and we both loved animals and music. We were the same. I loved him. Mother wouldn't lie to me and let me go through all that grief and still years later to mention absolutely nothing? It was ridiculous.

I was pacing up and down Donatello's lab - he had tried to talk to me and to calm me down but I blew him off with a torrid of abuse. So then they tried the female approach but I blasted them off too. I swore I could hear Karai laughing in the lounge so I finally snapped; shoving my way past Robyn and April I flew at her in a rage that even surprised me.

"Shut up you ridiculous creature!" I screamed "You think you're so special because they all fawn over you while you're not, you're just a stupid, insensitive, spoiled little bitch"

I was so angry at this point I was positively shaking and a thin sheen of sweat had started to form small droplets on my forehead. Before she had a chance to respond I felt two arms grab my waist and lift me off the ground and carry me away.

This move did not calm me down and instead made me even angrier so I lashed out not even caring who or what I was hitting.

Reaching the first room I was carried in and set down on the bed whilst the door was firmly shut behind. Raphael was standing in front of me with a facial expression that I couldn't quite read.

"What?!" I screeched "She is all those things and more - she laughed at me" My voice cracked and I closed my eyes "She laughed"

He hesitated for a moment and then I felt the bed move as he sat down next to me and next came the arm around the shoulders and my tears. And he let me cry. Let me cry without saying a word. This was becoming a bit of a habit. I still couldn't understand why he had taken me out like that and why would he choose to be so nice to me after being so, well, quite simply, not so nice.

"I told you, Karai is who she is, old Fearless don't really seem to realise that, but I tell you what if he heard her laugh at you he will stick up for you. One thing I will say for Leo, he knows his right from wrong in that respect."

I sniffed and then realised my nose was dripping quite badly - I bet I looked a right state. He scooted forwards and pulled me out a tissue before sitting back down.

"You've had a rotten day today, anyone with half a brain can see that so you can be forgiven for being a little emotional. Hey I watched myself out there. That's why I moved you. You see, I know what happens next"

"What?" I muttered, blowing my nose and wiping my eyes

"Fight. And she ain't worth it"

"But she's staying here! How can I stay here when someone like that is around but I have nowhere else..it's all such a mess..." I put a hand to my forehead and rubbed gently before landing myself with a heavy smack "I hate this...all of this"

"Hey.." He moved round and grabbed a firm grip of my hands "Stop that...hurting yourself ain't gonna help anything - apart from giving you a headache" With the other hand he moved my chin up so I had to meet his eyes "I get it. I really do. Sometimes I've punched that dummy over there so hard I've made my knuckles bleed but it really doesn't solve anything - you know that"

Kindness. That's what his facial expression said to me right now.

I knew he would never like me ' _like me'_ but at least now I was sure I had a friend.

* * *

The laboratory was currently playing host to a number of 'test subjects'. There were usually at least 4 or 5 of Shadow's subjects within various stages of testing. The issue, however, always remained the same. The subjects would get to a certain stage of 'becoming' and it would all fall apart. This is where the Source came in and the reason that he wanted it so very badly. He could only hope that Karai would keep her end of the deal or she would certainly pay the price.

There was now very little time yet before the change - the Taylor girl would be turning 25 next week - in 3 days in fact. If the Light Givers got to her before then and injected her mind with all the knowledge required she may go in search of the Source herself and that was something he did not want. He _had_ to get to her before then.

* * *

I had come to realise that the main problem with being in the lair was the serious lack of privacy and space. Even though I was so grateful to have met the guys and for their hospitality I wished I had my own 'room' - just somewhere I could go to escape and have some time on my own. There was an extra room but that had been Splinter's and from what I could gather they wanted to keep it just as it had been left. I didn't really fancy it anyway - it somehow still felt like he owned it and like he still needed his own space too.

Truth was I just wanted to get away from Karai. She insisted she hadn't been laughing at me and was in fact giggling at something which Robyn had said. Given the fact that both Robyn and April were with me at the time I knew straight away that she was lying. But for Leonardo's sake and for the sake of harmony I accepted her words of explanation and left it at that. I still didn't like the girl. She made me feel inferior and uncomfortable. Robyn had the same effect. April, though stunningly gorgeous, did not make me feel awkward; she radiated a natural warmth that I really liked. So whenever she came over, be it with pizza or without, everyone - including me - was delighted to see her.

She kept to her word and brought me some supplies - new clothes and some toiletries so that I could finally have a shower and put on something that didn't have stains on. That automatically made me feel brighter. It was so lovely to be fresh and clean. As I exited the bathroom I got pulled aside by Robyn, who was also something of a regular, and she asked me if I wanted to talk about anything to do with my parents. At first I couldn't really believe what she was saying and then I found myself thinking 'which parents'?

I declined and then silently I scolded myself for questioning my parentage. My father and mother had raised me - they were my parents whatever Donatello or Mistress Robyn said. That had become my new nickname for her because that is how I saw her. Whenever she was here she would flirt so blatantly that I wanted to stick two fingers down my throat and vomit. She even flirted with Leo, which I kinda thought was either very brave or very stupid. Karai was not impressed and in spite of their blossoming friendship she shot Robyn several very dark looks.

I spent quite a lot of time in the kitchen..and of course the dojo when the guys - or Karai - weren't in training. And after my little bathroom time I got myself settled at the table. It was in a good location in that in a couple of the seats I could quite literally hide away from the lounge. As much as I told myself to drop this crush on Raphael, I really struggled to do so. He was just so attractive. And the fact that he seemed to have mellowed out now made me want him even more! Therefore, as a result, I could not stand to watch him with Robyn. He had started pawing her now which felt like a huge blow. She was very pretty so I didn't blame him but it just really hurt to see it. So I did the only thing I could think of: I hid. Keeping a very low profile was the only thing I could do to protective myself; and my heart.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Surprise!

I had been here for merely four days and over that time I had been made to feel such a part of the family. I _adored_ Michelangelo, and loved just hanging out with him whether this be playing video games or creating new dishes in the kitchen; much to Raphael's disgust who hated his younger brother's culinary delights at the best of times. Leonardo was like the steadfast older brother that I never had and although Karai and I had reached an uneasy truce I found it hard to change my mind about her. Even when I heard her talking to Leo about her father and the tenderness of her words. I still had it in my mind that she was like those bullies I had faced at school and that she was in league with Robyn and now both of them were laughing at me.

Karai had obviously loved this 'Oroku Saki'; he had raised her from a baby so of course it was understandable. But from what I gathered off Michelangelo this man had been one of their top arch enemies and caused nothing but destruction and after a final battle against another enemy he had been destroyed. But now it appeared he was back; well, in one form or another. Karai was though insistent that this man was not her father and was in fact'someone' or 'some- _thing_ else'. What had happened to create this change I had no idea. My experience with TCRI and those within was fairly limited and I had only been exposed to dodgy looking men in black outfits.

Her conversation did get me thinking about my family though. I was still mulling over the question of my parentage and had spent time in Donatello's lab looking at the certificate to try and find flaws. The flaws would put holes in the authenticity of the document so I was desperate to find them. But, as Donatello kept reminding me, my real heritage could provide some crucial links.

"But what if I don't want links?" I whined "What if I'm happy with the links I've got?"

He stuck up a finger "A-ha, now, I'm not saying I don't see your point but we know these guys were tracking you for a reason - and we want to know why don't we? This could be the biggest clue we have"

Admitting defeat I sighed and then left him to it. He was trying a new programme; A programme that could break through virtually any security system. What he was looking for I didn't ask. Perhaps at this stage I didn't _want_ to know. This whole thing was upsetting enough as it was without knowing too much detail about Donatello's research tactics.

Whilst I had been looking at the adoption record I had also looked at a few articles about what happened back home and what everyone was saying. Joanne and her husband were photographed and quoted on more than a handful of occasions and it was clear that everyone thought I was guilty, the Police even had a sightings contact number in case I was spotted. It as very surreal to me. I had never even so much as run as red light so to be accused of arson and murder was insane.

I felt a little out of sorts and as everyone was out on patrol and for once I had the place to myself I thought I would go crazy and raid the DVD collection to see what was on offer. The offerings were lame. It was just as I thought really - teenage boys stuffed into the bodies of older turtles. I smiled to myself as I ran my finger along all the die-hard films. Perhaps, I thought, to myself, Leonardo would have a better offering. But I was yet again to be disappointed when I looked at the piles of cartoons and documentaries. Whilst I was in his room I could have sworn I heard something moving around outside in the corridor. I shifted to the door and pressed my back to it stayed completely still and listened hard. I could definitely hear voices. It sounded like one male and one female and both were whispering. I took a breath and moved out: the offending corridor was empty.

I stood there for a few minutes thinking about what I should do - should I run? should I call someone? or should I confront whomever it was? But what if it was people from TCRI? During these of insane questioning I found myself getting closer and closer to the lounge area and the door to Raphael's room. It was at that point I realised the 'disturbance' was coming from there - I could see no-one else around so assumed perhaps he had come back early because he was hurt. Tapping the door lightly I pushed it open. Nothing had prepared me for what I was about to be greeted with.

And if I had known there is no way I would have gone near that door...let alone opened it.

Robyn and Raphael were in there. She was naked. Butt naked and straddling him like he was the latest fairground ride. Oh My God! I had just interrupted them having sex and for a moment I just froze and stared...like I was in hypnosis or something...his hands were on her breasts as he muttered words of encouragement and she let out whimpers and moans. Then I realised what I was doing and quickly closed the door.

I was gutted. Gutted, humiliated and embarrassed all at the same time. I couldn't fight the tears that pricked my eyes and caused my vision to blur.

Flustered and feeling incredibly sick I fled to Donatello's lab and after pacing around for a while I loaded up his computer. It wasn't more than ten minutes later that Raphael appeared.

"You okay? Look, I'm sorry..." he mumbled, edging slightly closer "you weren't supposed to.."

My blush had faded but I still couldn't look at him - I mean, I'd seen his... "You don't have to apologise, it's your life to do what you want with and I shouldn't have barged in.."

"Yeh but I should have put a chair up by the door or a do not disturb sign or _something_...I just didn't think you'd..."

"And I didn't think you'd be back! You were supposed to be patrolling..I got the fright of my life when I heard voices..why didn't you call out for me? You knew I was here"

"Hell, I didn't think...I just got bored out there, so I snook off and met Robyn; she suggested.."

I held up my hand "I don't need to know what she suggested, I think I saw quite enough of what she suggested thank you very much"

"Sorr-eee" Robyn's voice put a stop to our conversation as she came up alongside Raphael and snaked an arm through his "I just can't keep my hands off him"

 _I know_ \- I thought to myself - _that's the problem._

"Come on sweetie, let's leave her to her work..." Robyn was now pulling at his arm like a demanding toddler.

"In a moment" He removed her hand and moved a little closer to me "I am sorry..."

"Well, we'll know for next time won't we?" giggled Robyn "Always baricade the door when Rosie is around...I got 2 weeks left here hunky man and we have to make the most of it"

 _And 2 weeks couldn't go quick enough_...I wanted to know _why_ she had actually come to New York in the first place - she hadn't really done anything apart from throw herself at Raphael and upset me..

He conceded defeat and allowed her to escort him from the room. Once the door was closed I allowed myself to let out a small scream.

"Arrgh..She's impossible!" I hissed to myself. I knew it was because I was jealous. I was mad crazy jealous...but having seen Robyn quite literally 'in the flesh' I knew that there was no way on earth that he would ever want me. Where she had 'shape' and 'tone' I had 'mass' and 'jello', and where she had a tan I had nothing. One of her legs were the same size as my arm! And that was obviously the type of girl he liked. So there was no hope for me then - not that I ever should have thought there was - he's fit...handsome...I'm...well...not.

Donatello's computer beeped and the screen went black, instinctively I moved back.."What did I do?"

It beeped again and two words appeared: **Rosie Taylor?**

Two seconds later the same words appeared followed by instructions to a meeting place topside and: **10am. Come alone.**

 _What the..?_

Did this 'hacker' from the Matrix really think I would meet them alone? Not a chance. After what had happened to me prior to all this - the kidnap, being held hostage - there was no way I would meet anyone alone.

The next lines though did quite literally floor me.

 **I have news of your father - your real father.**

 **Please trust me. I'm here to help.**

 _Yeh right! I may be fat - I was not stupid!_

"You find anything good?"

Donatello.

I briefly looked at him and then back at the screen which was once again displaying normal.

"Not really..." I murmured "You guys have a good night? I thought you'd be longer?"

"So did we but we lost Raphael and then Mikey got hurt so we thought we'd head back...was quite a quiet night though on average.."

"Mikey got hurt? Where is he?" I got up and went to the door, eager to find out how my buddy was doing. Yes it was true to say I really did adore Michelangelo.

"Oh he's okay - you know Mikey..."

And as it turns out he was. Leonardo had patched him up and given him some jelly beans and popcorn and Michelangelo was indeed as right as rain. As I sat next to him on the couch watching late night television and sharing his snacks my mind was everywhere.

"You okay sis?" his question pulled me away from my thoughts "you just don't seem to be yourself"

As soon as he said that my brain went straight back to the image of Raphael and Robyn. It appeared that Raphael knew as he eyes met mine in some sort of silent communication.

"I'm fine" I muttered "Just fine"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Facing facts

"You've done the right thing Rosie..thanks for telling us" Leonardo was sitting with me at the breakfast table and I had just informed him about the messages that I'd received last night on Donnie's computer "I'm glad you were smart enough to _not_ to just go off on your own"

"I figured why walk into a trap on my lonesome - may as well have some company if I'm gonna get napped again hadn't I?" I replied giving him a smile.

"You won't get napped. It'll be fine. You'll have back up from every angle"

I looked at my cup and the final mouthful of tea that was in there and rapidly going cold "You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. It'll look like you're on your own but we'll be there and Robyn will be inside. They may know April but I'm pretty sure they won't know her"

 _Great._ I thought, _Robyn as back up; yippee!_

"I know it isn't overly comfortable for you" began Leonardo hesitantly

"Oh, it's fine, as long as you guys are there and I'm safe..in theory...it'll be fine"

He coughed "Err, look I don't mean about _that_... _that will be_ fine. I mean about Robyn... _and Raphael_.."

 _Oh no._ The cheeks automatically responded and set on fire.

"It's fine, why would I be bothered? She's okay..." I mumbled in an unconvincing tone.

At this point I really _hated_ my cheeks.

"Aw c'mon.." His hand slid forward on the table and grasped mine "It's obvious you like him and if it's any consolation I think you're great for him - he has changed so much since you came"

At the 'C' word the image of Robyn riding Raphael popped involuntarily into my brain and my blushing increased ten-fold. I moved my hand away.

"He's a good guy.." I replied "But..what he does and _who he does_ is none of my business..really, it's fine"

"He'd be better off with you" added Leo, giving me a smile

I shifted my weight around in my seat - this was _so very_ uncomfortable "He would never want someone like me" I whispered

"Why?"

"Why? Why? Ah-uh...Look! Have you _seen_ me? I'm not his type, I'm no one's type..." My blush was fading and now I just felt miserable.

He slid his chair forward "Hey..don't say things like that. You're a really great girl"

"Yeh.." I mused, standing up "A great girl - everyone's friend, no-ones _girl_ -friend.." I put my cup in the sink "It doesn't matter anyway...I'm fine" I was seriously lying through my teeth "Now.." I began, turning round and flashing him my best fake smile "What's the plan? We've got half an hour till roll out"

"Yeh..what is this plan? I'd like to know too. Mikey tells me that you're putting my girl in danger.." Raphael was standing in the door way looking not best pleased - for a tiny minuscule of a moment I pretended he was talking about me...what I would give to be his girl...

Leonardo stood up "Robyn will be in a public place surrounded by people and they won't be targeting her. It's Rosie they want"

"Oh..yeh..sure - well, what's the back up plan?" Raphael glanced at me and then back to his brother.

"It's sorted. April will be round the corner in her car and we will be on the rooftop _and_ before you ask...Robyn volunteered."

"Okay...well, count me in"

"We already did" Leonardo watched as his brother went back into the lounge. He then turned back to look at me "Well at least he remained mainly calm...see..told you; that's all your doing that is"

I laughed "Doubt it. I think it's more to do with him getting laid"

Leonardo frowned and then his face changed to one of realisation "So that's where he went last night...he told me he had felt a bit under the weather"

I bit my bottom lip "Sorry...if only it were that simple"

She'd _told_ him. Rosie told Leo!

And with that came the lecture from good old Fearless about 'deserting the team'. Raphael was standing in position on the roof top and feeling himself slowly fume. Down on the streets below were Rosie and Robyn. Robyn inside the eaterie and Rosie just outside. He wasn't happy with what Rosie had done dropping him in it with his brother like that but then, in a way, he couldn't blame her forever. She was his friend and he really did like her.

She had looked so upset yesterday when he'd found her in the lab. Due to his position, he hadn't actually seen her come in the bedroom in the first place it was Robyn who announced that after they'd finished. It made him think - what if she'd been standing there the whole time would Robyn had said nothing? Perhaps she liked being watched? That was not something he would ever be interested in. It was difficult enough convincing himself that anyone wanted to have sex with him in the first place without having an audience as well! He wondered what had been going through her mind when she saw him and Robyn? Perhaps he should ask her sometime?

Pulling out his sais he tried to distract himself by practicing a few moves.

"Pay attention ninja master - it's ten" The hissing voice came from Leonardo. He couldn't actually see his brother but knew he was near by.

"You got it mister invisible" replied Raphael shaking his head and re-sheathing his sais. _Could he not literally do anything without him having a dig?_

Down on the ground I had been waiting a whole five minutes over the asking time and just when I was starting to feel like they were taking the piss a woman and man walked past me and then stood to my right side looking through the window. The woman pushed a small package at me.

"Take this. Use it."

I took hold of it but before I could look back at them they had already made their way past the eaterie and into the crowds.

What the..?

I looked down at the package - it seemed innocent enough but then... _what if it was a bomb?_

 _Shit._

It was at that point that I re-discovered the joy of movement - much in thanks to Robyn who exited the cafe and came to my side.

"Is that it?" she announced, looking at the parcel in my grasp.

I actually moved quite quickly for me - and made my way around the corner to the alleyway and the turtles van. Donatello the 'ever so brainy one' of the gang had told me that if I was given anything to come to the van and he'd sort it. So I did exactly what he requested. And, so did he.

"Let's have it" he reached for the parcel and thrust it into a box, turning the catches into position "This machine will let us know exactly what we're dealing with but instinct tells me it isn't a bomb"

"Wow Donnie, you have a nose for explosives! That's incredible" exclaimed Robyn, giving him one of her most impressive, yet dazzling, smiles. He, like any other male of course, blushed. I rolled my eyes.

The others had joined us and Michelangelo was already begging to be able to drive the van home and Robyn was pawing Raphael. I moved closer to the screen as he unattached her and also came to look.

"It looks like a recording device...perhaps with some sort of extra two way detail... _awesome_.." breathed Donatello, I actually did think at one point he was going to pass out from swooning. I had never known technology have such a profound effect on someone they way it did with him.

"What's it for?" My question felt like a good one but was greeted with sarcasm.

"My guess would be recording..or communicating"

"Thanks Raph, I figured that much" I shot him a glare. He raised his brow ridge and grinned at me in return.

"What I mean is - why give it to me? Who were those people?"

"We have them on photo capture but until I get back to the lab I was hoping perhaps you spoke with them?"

"Hardly. They gave it to me and told me to take it and use it"

"Obviously thought you were some sort of techno geek then.." added Raphael

"Again, I can figure it out...but.." He glanced towards Leonardo who swept up to the front of the vehicle and jumped in the driver's seat.

"On it!"

Donatello had opened the parcel and was now freely handling the device in awe. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

"Everyone in seats please" called Leonardo; ever the 'safety conscious' brother. Robyn kissed Raphael and hopped out of the van.

"See you back there" she called "I'll get sister dearest to drop me"

 _I'd drop you_ , I thought, _on your head_. Then I silently scolded myself for sounding like one of those violent bullies I had always so hated. This jealousy thing was turning me into a monster!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Open my eyes

Donatello worked hard trying to figure out how to get the item to do 'something' but it refused to do anything. He knew what it was but he just couldn't get it to function. I was just relieved that it wasn't a bomb.

For the remainder of the day he stayed in his lab whilst Karai and Leonardo trained, Michelangelo and I played games and trawled through comic books and of course Robyn spent time with Raphael... _in his room_. On this occasion I made sure I stayed well away; even though Mikey did keep threatening to burst in just so he could piss Raph off.

I still felt jealous. I couldn't help it. If I could just turn it off I would but it refused to go and each time I saw Robyn emerge from his room and go to the bathroom or the kitchen pain and anger would literally slice through me like a blade. Michelangelo was a great distraction and I was glad he was here but I must have made my feelings so obvious that he picked up on them too.

"Hey Rosie, you don't like Robyn very much do you?" he asked simply, looking at me curiously with big blue eyes. As per usual I felt my cheeks blush up.

"She's okay...she's just a little intense"

"It's Raph isn't it?" he added "You got a thing for him"

"No!" I snapped, blushing furiously

"Yeh you do!" continued the orange banded turtle; latching on to this the way a predator would it's meal "You're as red as anything - you got a crush on Raph!"

"Shush!" I hissed

"Oh this is great! You should let me talk to him - have you said anything to anyone? does April know?" He was by now so excited that I got up off his bed and left the room; deciding that I had definitely had enough of his incessant teasing - which I was sure would only go from bad to worse. Upon leaving the room I bumped head long into the guy at the centre of my crush; the one and only Raphael. Right now I wanted to disappear into a very large hole.

"Robyn's headed home" he began "I'm gonna train with the others - is Mikey coming? You wanna watch?"

I felt flustered and now began to sweat profusely "I don't know, ask him, he's..."

"Right here!" exclaimed Michelangelo "Sorry if I'm _interrupting anything_..." He looked from Raphael to me and back again - this was seriously not helping to calm down my cheek colour so I turned away and left them to it, plonking myself down on the sofa and switching on the television.

"You watch too much of that thing" Raphael was leaning over the sofa next to me; his deep voice sent my body into arousal overdrive "Give me a shout sometime and I'll teach you a few moves - it's either that or you turn into a laze ball like Mikey here"

"Hey! I am not a laze ball!" screeched the youngest whilst pouting his bottom lip at Raphael and sticking out his tongue.

Once they were both safely tucked away in the confines of the dojo I felt like I could finally breathe.

Now typically I had been sharing a bed with Raphael so that, as he put it, he could keep an eye on me and I wouldn't be cramped up on the sofa - which was, in truth, rather lumpy probably due to years of abuse.

I had secretly liked being so close to the largest brother, to hear him breathing and to know he was just a roll away from spooning me! Sounds a little creepy on reflection but I couldn't help it and it was a method I used to keep my crush under some sort of control - a bit like a addict having access to methadone! Raphael was my secret addiction. I just loved being with him, smelling him, listening to him talk and, more importantly, watching those muscles and _that_ body.

Today though I didn't watch them. I thought after Michelangelo's little wind up it would be safer to stay away and keep myself to myself as I was certain he would love to throw more digs my way.

Whilst they were in training I found myself heading to Donatello's lab. I wanted to see what he had done with the device. The answer to that question was 'not a lot'. It was sitting on his worktop next to folds of paperwork that did not make sense to me at all. I lacked the intelligence of mind that Donatello clearly possessed. I had done okay at school but that was purely through hard work; I was certainly not gifted!

Standing over the device I briefly hesitated before picking it up; it was quite light and felt natural in my hands. And that was when it glowed and I dropped it. Light shot out from every angle and I shuffled back suddenly finding my back coming into contact with the door, I tried the knob and it didn't move. Now I began to panic - why had I even touched that the thing? I wished I could rewind and take it all back.

In the next moment something so bizarre occurred that it changed my life from that day on. The Hologram of a man appeared - clear and precise as if he standing there with me and as I looked at his face I felt that I knew him. I instantly connected but didn't know why until he spoke.

"I am so glad you have this - if you do then the Lightgivers will have done their job and in turn will too be rewarded. As strange as this all seems - you must believe what I tell you and you mustn't be afraid. This is your destiny and the hope of all humanity rests upon you understanding your true calling my child. For you too are a Lightgiver but it is you that will have the map and lead the hunt"

My brain was about ready to explode but I managed to find my voice "There must be a mistake, I..."

"I am only a program so cannot respond naturally but I hope this information that I give to you will assist in your quest to find answers. I tried to find a cure; to stop this thing but I failed and for that I am sorry my daughter"

 _Daughter?_ Now my brain was seriously fried!

It was a further two hours before they came out of training by which time my little light show had ended and I was left to sit and ponder over what had been told to me.

That man had proclaimed to be my real father - my real mother was not even mentioned - that man had claimed that I was someone called a 'Lightgiver' whatever the hell that was? He claimed that on my 25 birthday I would change and connect with a map which would lead me to something called the 'Source' which I had to protect before something called 'the Shadow' could get to it.

Yes, it sounded like a strange version of Lord of the Rings but without the 'Precious'.

And I reacted as perhaps any normal person would: I got drunk.

I found Raphael's stash of beer in the fridge and I necked it. I was finishing off my sixth bottle as Raphael sat down next to me a further three hours later.

"You're pissed" announced the second eldest brother as he took up residence next to me, I didn't look at him but could feel the intensity of his stare like he was trying to use mystical powers to extract information from my brain "What's up?"

I finished the final mouthful and popped the empty bottle on the cushion next to me "Nothing" I slurred

"Well something's up given the fact that you've drowned yourself in my beer"

I raised my eyebrows and moved round to look at him "Sorry"

"Hey it's not a problem I just wondered why you would get so drunk that's all"

"I wanted to forget things" I replied. For once I was being totally honest.

Leonardo stood over me "Is she drunk?"

I threw my arms out and grinned at him "I'm lucid! and a _teeny_ little bit tipsy"

"She's more than tipsy, we need coffee Leo and water, lots of water"

"On it" Leonardo went off to the kitchen

"But I don't drink coffee" I protested

"You do now" Raphael bundled me up in a blanket and picked me off the sofa "You need to sleep this off"

I giggled "In your room?"

"Yes, in my room"

"But you had sex in there! I don't wanna get in that bed, there might be stains in there.." I realised I was rambling but at that point I really didn't care. He kicked open the door and popped me on the bed "I really love you you know... You should be with me not Robyn she's a fruitcake and you're much too good for her".

He paused briefly before covering me with the blanket and then sitting on the bed.

"Tell Donnie I'm sorry about the gadget - I hope I didn't break it"

He gently brushed the hair off my face. I had my eyes closed - enjoying the feeling of his touch.

"Silly girl" he whispered

"It glowed" I added "And I saw my dad"

Those were the final words I spoke before I passed out.

Raphael watched Rosie finally succumb to the alcohol in her system and fall straight off to sleep. Her face was relaxed and her breathing was deep and steady.

 _What had she meant about the gadget?_ Perhaps it was drunk speak but perhaps not. He would have to check with Donnie.

Leonardo came in with coffee and water. The coffee was returned and the water placed by the bed along with 2 paracetamol.

After his brother left Raphael turned off the main light and lay down next to Rosie, rolling on his side so he could look at her. _Surely it was drunk speak when she'd said about loving him?_ It had to be. Why would anyone love him? Let alone a smart pretty girl like Rosie. He touched her face again, feeling her soft skin beneath his fingers. She murmured and shifted forwards, pushing herself into his body and snuggling her head onto his chest.

It felt nice. She smelt nice. So he put his arms around her and kept her close enjoying the contact and the warmth and he too fell into a deep sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: The next morning

When I woke up I immediately felt like crap, the taste of stale alcohol coated my tongue and my head was aching. Turning over I clocked the big glass of water and two paracetamol as well as the bucket on the floor by my side of the bed. I didn't remember how I had gotten into Raphael's bed; had he put me there? I lay back down and looked up at the ceiling, feeling suddenly nauseous I rolled onto my side and reached for the glass of water taking a couple of sips.

The bedroom door opened and Raphael came inside. He took one look at me and smirked.

"You look rough" he announced "Nice to see that you're awake though - sleeping the morning away is a terrible waste"

"Ha ha" I replied sarcastically. He sat down on the bed and passed me the glass.

"Be a good girl and drink your water, it'll help to combat the dehydration"

He helped me to sit up, avoiding any spillage and keeping the covers over my legs.

"Since when did you get so smart" I mused, taking more sips and looking at him shyly.

"Since I've been there myself time and time again. You'll feel better after lots of water and some toast, now you're awake I'll go make you some" He patted my leg and got up.

"Did I do anything strange?"

I had to ask. I had gaps. And the only way to fill said gaps them would be to ask. I just hoped I hadn't done anything too awful.

"Not exactly.." began Raphael, smiling "You told me you loved me but I suppose it's better than smacking me and puking on the bed. You must be a happy drunk"

He subsequently left me alone and proceeded to the kitchen to get me some breakfast.

 _Oh no! I'd told him!_ Luckily for me it seemed like he didn't take it all too seriously. I felt so embarrassed though! I hoped that I hadn't done anything else.

"Can I come in?" I recognised the voice as Donatello's.

"Sure" I answered still nursing my drink.

"How are you?" He sat down on the bed in the same spot that Raphael had chosen not more than twenty seconds ago.

I shrugged my shoulders "Okay, _I think_...sorry if I did anything I shouldn't have"

"You were a little merry but Raph took care of you. He's making you some toast right now, I have never seen him act this way"

"What way?"

"Considerate, caring to name a few of adjectives. He was genuinely concerned for you last night"

I could feel myself blushing "Was there any reason why you got so drunk? I only ask but the readings on the communicator have altered - like as if it's off-loaded so... did you touch it?"

I lowered my eyes as the wave of realisation hit me: Yes I had touched it and yes it had off loaded... _to me._

"Sorry Donnie... I shouldn't have touched it I know but...I did and... _it worked_ "

"It spoke?"

"He spoke. _He_ Donnie, not it. It was some sort of Hologram program"

"Oh my goodness! - an actual holographic image? and it spoke to you? How did you activate it?" Donatello looked so excited I thought he might pass out.

"I..er... picked it up that's all"

"What did it..I mean, _he_ , say to you?"

I paused, during which Raphael re-entered his room armed with two slices of buttered toast "Here you go - get that down you - line your stomach" He handed me the plate and looked at his brother "What you doing in here D? Hope you're not harassing my patient"

"Your patient? Okay Raphael whatever you say...and the answer is 'no' I am not harassing her. She experienced something amazing last night"

"Yeh I know, she shared a bed with me" replied Raphael arrogantly, giving me a wink "Can't get more amazing than that"

Donatello stared at him whilst I blushed furiously.

"Not to put a dampener on things Raph but I was talking about the communicator, it worked for her"

"The Communicator? Since when did the gadget have a name like that?"

"Since I gave it one - this is a sophisticated piece of equipment and it needs an impressive name"

"Hey don't like Mikey hear that you named it - you know how he likes to hold call on the rights of naming things"

Donatello chose to ignore the final remark and turned his attention back to me as Raphael sat down on the other side of the bed and watched me nibble my toast - which, was actually going down a treat and I was feeling so much better already.

"So..c'mon..what did he say?"

They were both looking at me now - waiting for a response.

"I...err..." I did remember; I just wasn't quite sure I was ready to share yet "It's complicated"

"Complicated? How so?" Donatello was persisting and I was feeling flustered. Heat pulsated through my body and drenched me in sweat.

"C'mon Don..can't you see the girl is unwell. Leave her be. She'll tell you later okay?"

I locked eyes with Raphael, silently thanking him for saving me.

"But.." began Donatello. Raphael stood up and pulled him up too.

"No buts Professor Brainiac - give her a break...out..out" He directed his brother out of the door and into the corridor. I could hear some fevered whispering and then Raphael came back in, he was shaking his head.

"Honestly, he gets like 'obsessed' - it's kinda creepy. Hopefully he'll leave you alone now and you can recover quietly"

"Thank you" I murmured "I will tell him I just.."

"Need some time, I know"

He did. He really seemed to understand me. I smiled.

"You look a lot better after that toast - see...it's a magic cure. Don't let Mikey make it for you though he smothers the stuff in peanut butter - it is gross"

I giggled "He tries"

"He does, I'll give him that. Look, can I ask you something?"

"Depends what it is"

"It's kinda personal...I just realised I'd never asked" His pretty green eyes met my dull brown ones and immediately my groin throbbed in anticipation as my breathing also got quicker. I was well and truly turned on at this point even though he was probably going to ask me my age.

"Do _you_ have anyone special, you know, like guy wise...back in the UK?"

The question surprised me - more so because I hadn't given him permission to pose it and why would he want to know about my love life...albeit my non-existent love life.

"No..why do you ask? Robyn making you think about romance is she?"

Raphael chuckled and glanced away "Nah. We're just having some fun, ain't no romance involved in our coupling. I just realised that this was something we'd never talked about"

"That's because there isn't anything to talk about" I answered, feeling on the spot once more. "I'm on my own...and that's that" I took a deep breath "I don't understand about you and Robyn though, I thought you liked her?"

He shook his head "I do but it's not serious. She's single, I'm single." He shifted round to face the wall "You don't know what it's like... _being someone like me._ I never know when, when I'll be able to get close to someone, and she did make it kind of obvious she was into me..so I figured why not"

"It seems a bit wrong don't you think? You have sex with her just because she throws herself at you? What about morals? What about love?"

He turned to look at me "Since when do you care so much about my morals? Besides, you don't even like her do you so why would it matter?"

"I have no problem with her Raph, she's just a bit 'full on' sometimes that's all". I looked down at my hands and fiddled with my fingers.

"I know. She means well though...in her own way...and she's happy enough with our situation, she goes home next week so.."

"I guess" I muttered, still looking at my hands.

The silence that passed between us was deafening. I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable and my face was starting to flush up again.

He broke the tension by getting up "You need anything else?"

"No...thanks"

"Shout up if you do okay?" He smiled at me and went to the door.

"I will...I'm gonna get a shower in a moment"

"Good" he replied, giving me a grin "I didn't want to say anything but you _really_ stink"

"Hey!" I threw a pillow at him as he slipped out the door. I could hear his manly chuckling just outside the room and something dug deep into my chest.

 _So he slept with Robyn because she made it obvious she interested in him._

I bet it was more than that - it had to be... If I showed obvious interest he wouldn't want me. He slept with Robyn because she's his type - slim and pretty. Why would he ever want the plain frumpy girl next door type when he can get girls like that. Heck, in my opinion, he could have anyone he wanted.

"Stop thinking so much" I hissed to myself as I got off the bed. I left my glass on the nightstand on made my way to the bathroom.

 _Time to wash off this depression and then time to speak with Donnie._


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: From one to another

Raphael took himself off to do some exercise in the dojo. He didn't ask the others to come too because he wanted to be on his own. Rosie's words had hit a nerve. They made him feel cheapened; dirty. At the back of his mind he had tried to dismiss the affair between Robyn and himself as 'nothing', as 'just a bit of fun'. She hadn't mattered because she was only here for a short time so it was just a holiday thing.

He enjoyed intimacy and _damn it_ he enjoyed the warmth of a woman's body so why shouldn't he take what is offered so blatantly? Why?

He punched the dummy over and over until he was out of steam.

 _Why was it that Rosie's words had affected him so much?_

* * *

I enjoyed my time in the shower no end and after the hot buttery toast and pint of water I was definitely feeling more like the 'normal' Rosie that I was used to. As I was drying myself the bathroom door handle moved violently and said door swung open. Raphael was suddenly standing there before me and I froze; the towel in my hands was a lot lower than I would have wanted and as a result he got a complete viewing of my nakedness.

"Sorry.." He quickly turned round "Karai said bathroom was free"

"Jees..." I screeched, pulling the towel over my body "She would!"

"Sorry... _again_.." And with that he made a hasty retreat and left me alone, ashamed and embarrassed.

I was so going to kill Karai!

 _Naked._

She had been completely naked and he'd seen her... _all of her._

Oh no doubt Karai had done it on purpose so after giving her a 'what for' Raphael retreated to his room.

A strange feeling had come over him. A feeling he certainly was not used to with Rosie.

He felt... _aroused._

 _She was his friend and he was turned on by her._

She had always gone on about how she was no-one's type, always putting herself down..but after seeing her beautiful body in all it's glory he had no understanding as to why she would do that! The tightness in his groin was growing... _there would be only one way to sort this out._

* * *

I stayed in the bathroom for a further 20 minutes. Trying to calm down my blushes and think about what I would say to Karai and more importantly Raphael!

Oh. My. God. He had seen me naked, bare, without any clothes on! OH MY GAWD!

I looked at myself in the mirror, taking in my bright red face and flustered appearance; which was also due to anger as well as embarrassment.

I hung up my towel, got dressed and left the room, only to see Karai and Leonardo laughing with each other in the kitchen. I marched over there: anger was now my only emotion, shame was well and truly out of the window.

"You cow!" I began "You did that on purpose!"

Karai turned to look at me "What?"

"You know what!" I hissed

Leonardo stepped forward and angling himself in between us "What's happened?" he asked calmly, his eyes flitting from me to Karai and back again.

"She sent Raphael into the bathroom whilst I was in there! She _knew_ I was in there - she did it on purpose!" I had my hands on my hips and was fixing her with my harshest of glares.

Karai looked up at Leonardo "I forgot" she murmured "Raph asked if it was free, I thought it was" She looked back at me "Sorry"

I was torn between smacking her and screaming in her face. I decided on neither. Why give her the satisfaction? It's what she wanted: me in a state of fury and out of control so I'd look like a lunatic again.

Instead I glared at her, huffed and then took myself off to Donatello's lab. After all, that was where I wanted to head in the first place. I just prayed I wouldn't bump into Raphael on the way! I didn't feel ready to see him yet. I didn't know if I would ever feel ready to set eyes on him again!

Leonardo watched Rosie disappear into his brother's lab. He had thought he'd be calling Raphael to stop another fight but luckily it wasn't the case.

"Did you do it on purpose?" His voice was soft and gentle; the question being much more than just words as he held Karai's hands lightly.

She paused, bit her lip and captured his eyes with her own "Maybe..." she began. Leonardo released her and walked to the kitchen table rubbing his head he paused, sighed and then turned to look at her seriously.

"Why?" His stance was firm.

She crept over to him and pushed her small body into his; hands tenderly pressing on his chest, chocolate eyes hypnotising him: "Because they like each other. I was merely helping the situation move along. They are so oblivious to how the other one is feeling I thought if he was see her like that he would realise how he felt"

Leonardo felt himself crumble. He could never stay angry at Karai. _He loved her and she knew it._

"You really meant well?" he asked, bending his head down to breathe softly on her face and to inhale her alluringly sweet scent.

"I did. I just want them to be happy. I like Robyn but Raphael needs someone long term."

She lifted herself onto tip-toes, tilting her head up and bringing her lips forwards to meet his own in a warm and gentle kiss. He responded and wrapped his arms around her body, enjoying the contact. She moved her head back and smiled at him "I just hope Rosie will forgive me".

* * *

"I can't believe she would do that to me!" I yelled angrily. Donatello looked at me with a nervous expression. I had been in his lab for 15 minutes and all I could talk about was Karai "She's evil" I hissed.

"Leo wouldn't be with her if she was _that_ bad" replied the purple masked turtle "He's the most moralistic out of the four of us besides maybe she had another motive?"

"Other than humiliation you mean" I sat down with a thump and stared at him.

"Let it go...trust me, it's better that way"

I let out a sigh and folded my arms.

"I suppose..." I mumbled

"For the sake of peace and harmony within the lair?" he added hopefully

"Okay" I replied, feeling exhausted "I still don't trust her though"

"And you're entitled to be suspicious of who you want...that is acceptable by my standards but what I'm really interested in is the events of the night before - and not your drunken debauchery" He sat down opposite me, waiting in earnest for me to begin.

And I did.

I told him everything, every last drop of it from start to finish and then waited for him to comment.

He stared at me, mouth slightly ajar, eyes wide and body rigid; almost like he'd been hit with some sort of stun gun.

"So, what do you think?" I asked

"I have no grasp of this concept you just fed to me...are you _sure_ you weren't drunk?"

"No!" I snapped, suddenly getting up "I was sober - that was why I got drunk! It shocked the Hell out of me, I couldn't understand it either. This guy said he was my father, my real father..."

Donatello sat silently "Leave this with me - let me digest and let me see what I can find - now we have a few more key words I might make more progress. By the way, just out of interest, when exactly are you turning 25?"

"The day after tomorrow"

We both looked at each other.

"Okay, so that gives me one and half days..."

"For what?" My voice was suddenly pitching higher so I now sounded panicked.

"To find out what you're gonna change into and what this all means" He wheeled his chair over to the computer and started to type.

"And that's it?" I asked, realising that my eyes were now on stalks "So meantime what do I do?"

"Sit tight, hold fire and trust me"

Like it was _that_ easy. I knew I was rolling my eyes but I just couldn't help it. Backing up I arrived at what I thought was the door but when the door spoke in the voice of Raphael I realised my error. He put his hands on my shoulders.

"Can we talk?" His voice sent my nether regions into automatic lubrication and my legs felt wobbly.

Oh Gawd. He wanted to talk! _What the hell about?_ I was hoping I could at least have the rest of the day without this. Suddenly I felt nauseous again and wanted to lie down.

"Sure" I let him lead me out of the lab and whilst I tried to head back to the lounge he steered me round to the dojo and directed me inside.

"I'm, err, airing the bed so best we stay in here - floors clean, Mikey was sorting it this morning" I dutifully sat down, he towered over me for all of two seconds before also sitting down. He cleared his throat and I felt the knot in my stomach tighten even more "I wanted to chat about earlier, I honestly did not know you were in there.."

"I know. It was Karai. Guess it was her idea of a joke" I pulled my knees into my chest and hugged them.

"I didn't want you thinking, you know, that I did it on purpose...I know the Robyn thing is strange to you but I wouldn't nip into a bathroom just to..you know...to see you..or any girl... _like that_ "

As I heard the worry in his voice my eyes finally met his "I know..and I hope I didn't overstep things either, you know, when I said about Robyn, I just think...you, you shouldn't undersell yourself"

He smiled at me "You made me think..you know..about things with her. I think you're right, I get it I really do"

I smiled back "Good...least I got something right"

He shuffled forwards and dragged me over to meet him "You get loads of things right - you shouldn't undersell yourself either" My face was by now so on fire that I literally thought I may spontaneously combust "You're a great girl... _lovely_...you're a lovely girl" I swore my heartbeat must be so loud that even those up topside would hear it "And, err, I would really, _really_ like to kiss you"

BOOM!

I nearly fell over - well, I would have done had I not been on the floor already. I didn't know what to say. So I just looked at him with a blank expression.

He moved further forward and smiled at me, making my heart melt and my already saturated underwear get even wetter.

"Well, you haven't said no...so.."

And he kissed me. Softly and gently he kissed me. My entire body responded like someone had flicked a switch and I went from horny scale 0-100 in less than a second. As he pulled away his hand cupped my cheek.

"I never knew how I felt... _I'm sorry_...I've been a dork. Forgive me?"

I squeaked a vague 'yes' and let him kiss me again.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Three times and gone

"Time is running out Karai, as is my patience!" The voice that crawled into her ears from the phone felt like it was invading her brain. Dark matter pushing forward and turning her brain to mush "You have until tomorrow - if you do not fulfill your promise then I will destroy all that is dear to you"

The phone went dead and only silence filled her ears now until the sound of Leonardo calling out her name took it's place.

* * *

During the afternoon and early evening I felt very much like I was in some sort of alternative universe. Raphael had kissed me. _He_ had kissed _me_. It was all I had ever wanted but I couldn't help but question it. Why was it now that he was suddenly interested in me? I was too shy to ask and after our time in the dojo he had gone out and trained with his brothers and then went with Mikey to meet April and get pizza. I didn't dare ask about Robyn but true to form she appeared; high pitched and more annoying than ever. I wondered if Raphael had said anything to her about our kisses. Then I wondered if he would ever say anything? What if he just kissed me as some sort of joke and it meant nothing? Yes, my brain was well and truly going into melt down.

Whilst we were munching on pizza Donatello insisted that the topic of conversation be 'me'. He wanted them all the know what had happened to me in the lab the other night; I was not so keen to share and realised that it would probably make me even more estranged to the group than I was already feeling. I was right. They all kinda glanced at me like I was a fruitcake and had questions that neither Donnie or myself could answer.

I was fed up with feeling awkward so made myself useful by collecting and clearing away plates and boxes and then filling the sink with warm soapy water. I could hear Robyn and Karai laughing, no doubt it was at me again. By now I was feeling so paranoid I just wanted to crawl into the sink with the plates and drown.

Two large arms snaked their way around my waist causing me to jump.

"Sorry" Raphael kissed me lightly on the neck, I felt my shoulders creep up to shield my flesh away from his hot mouth "What's wrong?"

I wriggled, trying to shake him off me but he only gripped harder and proceeded to turn me round and pick me up popping me down onto the kitchen counter so I had no choice but to look at him as he grasped my head in his hands.

"Talk to me" he instructed "What's the matter?"

"Nothing" I mumbled

"Well, there obviously is because your bottom lip wants to join up with your chin" he replied, chuckling "Is is Robyn?"

"It's...everything...I just..." As tears pricked my eyes he kissed me gently still holding my face in his large hands.

"I've told her, I've told all of them, they all know I'm with you...they just won't make a fuss about it - well, Mikey may do" My hands were dripping suds on my trousers "Did you think I wouldn't tell her?"

"I just...I just didn't know...you never said anything afterwards so I thought you'd regretted it and then when I saw her..." A tear ran down my cheek which he carefully removed with his thumb.

"You thought I was back-peddling didn't you?" He looked at me and smiled "Never would I ever regret anything that we share - and that includes kisses" He kissed me on my nose "So no more tears okay?"

I took a deep breath and nodded.

"I thought you'd be more worried about...the day yonder...you know, your birthday"

"I would if I believed it" I replied "And I just don't think that I do"

"Whatever happens...I'm here for you okay? Don't think that I will ever leave you cos that ain't goin to happen" After kissing me again he lifted me off the counter and let me return to my plate washing.

"I'm worried for her Leo.." Raphael stood alongside his elder brother and watched Rosie busying herself in the kitchen "She don't think anything will happen, and of course, it may not, but if it does I just don't know if she'll be able to handle it"

"Don will do everything he can; all we do is wait"

But Raphael didn't want to wait; he pestered Donatello until the purple banded brother barred him from his lab stating that he 'couldn't work under all this pressure'. Robyn and April stayed another couple of hours but then their tiredness got the better of them and they asked Mikey to see them back up topside.

Raphael was watching Rosie watch the TV. She looked like she was pretending to watch the film but wasn't really. He felt tired - he wanted to go to bed and be with her. He'd shared her all night and now they were only two left he wanted to take her into his arms and love her. As he got up and approached her she snapped out of her trance and looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Bed time" he began, holding out a hand, ready to pull her up.

I swallowed nervously "I'm not tired"

"Well...neither am I" he replied, giving me a grin. _Oh I knew what that meant._

"I'm watching this" I added "You go...I'll come later"

He paused and then sat down next to me "What's the matter? You are no more watching that now than you have been all evening"

"Yes I am" I protested "It's good!"

Raphael leaned back and grasped my hand in his own "Okay then, what's it about?"

Shit. I had no idea.

"It's complicated" I lied "You wouldn't get it"

"Yeh I would, I've seen it four times, so now you can tell me what he's gonna do with that bomb" We both looked at the screen. A guy was indeed wiring up a bomb but I had no idea who he was or why he was doing that.

"He's...err...going to blow something up!?"

"Well obviously Miss Film Buff - but what and who is he?"

"I..err...err...missed that part?" I looked at him, unsure of how he would react. Unfortunately for me he could now read me like a book.

"Hey, I know you're worried even though you say you're not...but I'm always gonna be here for you okay?"

 _Hmmph, maybe he couldn't read me so well after all._

"What I can't figure out is why you don't wanna come to bed with me"

 _Oh dear. He could._

I tried to smile but I swear to god it came out more like a grimace "I do...I was just..."

"Avoiding it" he interrupted "Why? I've seen all of you remember...you ain't got nothing to be concerned about...I can't wait to get my hands on you"

"That's the point" I scooted round towards him "I'm so shy. You're just so...athletic...and well...to put it bluntly...certain parts of you are.." I glanced downwards "Huge"

He suddenly chuckled and pulled me forwards "Thank you, I'm sure, but no need to worry...I won't hurt you...and it's all you...I just want to touch you, to love you, to give you all the pleasure you deserve"

I bit my bottom lip "I can't. I'm too embarrassed. Sorry"

"Hey" He gently caressed my cheek "No worries. Then we do nothing. Just let me hold you"

"Okay...I can manage that" I replied, smiling normally now and getting up. He let me use the bathroom first and whilst he was in there I got into my oversized T-shirt and climbed into bed. I just hoped that he wasn't going to try anything because part of me felt sure that if he did I wouldn't have the strength to stop him.

Once he was alongside me I let him spoon up behind me and trace kisses along my neck. The arm that was over the top of my body made movements of it's own upwards and across searching out my breasts to caress the skin there, causing my nipples to harden in response and a moan to escape through my lips.

"Relax..." he whispered "Just let me make you feel good"

In the darkness I felt the hand drop and move to my pants slowly and carefully sliding them down my legs. I moaned again as he carried on kissing my neck pausing only to pull the T-shirt up and off over my head.

"I can't do this.." I whispered back; feeling at this point like I was in combat with my body which, really, _really_ wanted to do this.

His hand traced down my body, lingering by my hip to sweep back up again. His touch made me tingle. By the time he began to touch me between my legs I was too far gone to protest and my body already so close to orgasm that it was literally only a few seconds later that he had me shaking all over and calling his name pleasure radiating from my groin outwards through my body rendering me weak; _god it felt so good._

Rolling me over gently he leaned forward to kiss me sweetly on the mouth; nibbling my bottom lip and flickering his tongue inside quite literally taking my breath away.

"Slow and gentle" he whispered "Don't you worry"

I could feel the tip of his penis pressing against my vagina; both of us caught a breath as he pushed it inside. I was at this stage so wet down there my body welcomed the intrusion easily. Moving lightly against me I buried my face into his shoulder as he once again created quick circles with his fingers bringing me to another earth shattering orgasm as he slipped further inside. The pain I felt was brief and I could tell that he was holding some of his length back so as not to hurt me further.

The thrusting built up slowly and reached a point where I had locked my leg over his and was in fact pulling him further towards me murmuring 'oh god, oh god, oh god'. And with that I came for a third time as he emptied his load inside me pushing his head into my neck and panting heavily.

I moved my leg off his hip and rolled onto my back. I could feel him looking at me so I turned my head round to face him.

"You okay..?" he asked, still breathing heavily.

"Oh...my...god!" I locked my gaze with his, making out his beautiful emerald eyes in the darkness "I have never never felt that good"

It was true. I hadn't. Well, not with a man anyway. With a man I had been lucky to have had one orgasm; let alone three!

He slid forward and wrapped an arm around my body "You deserve it" he whispered; giving my shoulder a kiss.

"If you regret it tomorrow I will understand" I began "Just tell me you're sorry and we'll say no more"

"What?" He spun me over and grasped my face in his hands "Never. Never. Never. I want YOU and only you, so get used to it...okay? There's plenty more pleasure where that came from my lovely, lovely girl.."

I nodded numbly as he held me close. _I really hoped he was sure._

* * *

Raphael was up nice and early. He felt so happy as he gazed lovingly at the girl in the bed. Rosie; his Rosie. She was sleeping soundly so he left her to it. Besides he had a surprise planned for her! After leaving Michelangelo with the message should Rosie get up and wonder where he was - he rushed out of the lair.

"Morning Mikey" I bounced into the lounge. Feeling remarkably jolly in spite of the fact that today was the day before my birthday and tomorrow I may turn into some strange monster or the like...

"Good morning sister!" replied the youngest, pulling off his earphones "How are you this morning?"

I sat down on the sofa, albeit carefully because my nether regions were a little tender; yes, I could definitely tell that I'd had sex last night. _Ooo, I was sore!_ But secretly, instead of suffering, I loved it! I'd had sex with the one and only Raphael! Gawd! I wanted to shout it from the roof-top.

"Is Raph about?"

"Oh, he was...he told me to tell you that he's sorry and he's gone to meet Robyn"

The words hit my heart like a sledgehammer - and on impact they shattered it into a thousand pieces.

"Really?" I choked "He said that?"

"Yep" replied Michelangelo, fiddling with the music player and pulling his headphones back on.

I got up, steadied myself and went to collect my things. I would _not_ be a laughing stock. I would _not_ be broken up in front of him. I would fight and I would go and take control of my own destiny. Screw him. Screw them all.

Hurrying out of the lair I bumped headlong into Karai and Leo - by this time I was sobbing and tears were pouring down my face.

"Hey..what's wrong?" Leonardo grabbed my shoulders, I shook him off.

"Tell Raph to stick it up his ass" I hissed as I pushed past them and out into the corridor.

"What the...?" Leo looked after Rosie and then back to Karai "What the Hell has Raphael done now?"

"I'll go after her, don't worry"

"You sure?"

"Yes...perhaps she'll open up to me"

Leonardo frowned.

"Okay, maybe not, but at least I can track her"

Once Raphael returned, his arms laden with goodies, Michelangelo was squirming under the questions as Leonardo strode up to his brother.

"Where the Hell have you been and what the Hell did you do to Rosie? She was inconsolable"

Raphael looked confused. He put down his bags. "What are you talking about?"

"You!" Leonardo crossed his arms over his chest "She took off - luckily Karai offered to track her because obviously with it being daytime and the van still outta action we can't do it"

"I don't understand..." began Raphael. He slowly turned to Michelangelo "Did you give her the message?"

Michelangelo nodded "I told her you were sorry and you'd gone to meet Robyn"

"You what!" The red banded turtle looked so angry that the youngest cowered in fear "I told you to tell her I was sorry I'd be back soon and to stay in bed you idiot! I was meeting Robyn to collect breakfast! So that I could surprise Rosie and spoil her. I am so going to kill you Mikey... _.slowly and painfully.._.." He let out a growl and began to chase his brother around the lair. If anything had happened to Rosie he would kill him twice - and both times would be very slow and very painful.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Come to understanding

"I can't believe you Mikey!" Raphael was still furious twenty minutes later; he'd chased his younger brother around the lair several times with Donatello's Bo-Staff, choosing to use the weapon for a number of different purposes including hitting Michelangelo on the head and tripping him up.

Leonardo had just managed to calm Raphael down when his T-phone rang: it was Karai.

"Shush guys, it's Karai...Yes it's me - what you got?"

He put Karai on speaker phone as Raphael pushed in further to listen.

"Hey Leo, it's not looking too good, I tried to stop her but she got in a cab, looks like she took some money from somewhere - I'm following her now on foot"

"Lose her and I swear to God!" interrupted Raphael in a growly voice "Why the fudge didn't she get a cab too?"

"Leave it Raph" replied Leonardo, turning away and taking the phone with him.

"Tell Lover-Boy to can it, I'm doing my best!" shouted Karai in response

"I know, and we are most appreciative - aren't we...? Aren't we Raphael?"

Raphael huffed and folded his arms "Once she gets my girl back here in one piece then I'll be appreciative!"

"Where do you think she's heading?" asked the eldest; trying to get the conversation back on track.

There was silence, followed by crackling and then a resounded and clear "Oh no"

"What... _what is it?_ " Raphael was at this point trying to take the phone from his brother.

"Calm it!" scolded Leonardo, gripping the device even harder

"It's TCRI. She's going into TCRI"

* * *

I had never, ever stolen anything in my life and I hadn't ever planned on doing so but the way that Raphael had dumped me so unashamedly and then run back to Robyn made me so angry that I called it payback. I took money from their tin in order to carry out the next phase. As a took the change off the driver and slammed the door I wondered where the Hell they actually got their money from the first place? It's not like any of them had jobs...well, not ones that paid.

The reception area of TCRI was smart. It still ran with the metallic theme that I had been exposed to on the upper floors but it was smart, simple, crisp and clean. The woman on the desk looked up at me and smiled. It was one of those 'over the top' fake smiles.

"Good morning" she began cheerfully "How can be of assistance today?"

I took a breath "I'm here to see..." suddenly I was stopped dead as a hand gripped my arm firmly.

"There you are. Thought you'd got away from me did you?"

It was Karai.

"We're both here to see Mr Shadow. I'm Karai, this is Rosie Taylor - he's expecting us"

I shook her hand - or attempted to shake her hand - off me, but it wouldn't budge; this girl had a grip of iron.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed

"Saving your ass" she replied "Just go along with it - and do everything I say"

The woman on reception hung up the phone and smiled again "Take the elevator - you'll automatically be transported up there and then met on arrival"

Before I could respond, Karai thanked the overly-smiley woman and pulled me to the elevator. Once inside and moving she turned to face me.

"This guy threatened to destroy everything for me unless I brought you in so would you pretend that's what is happening?"

I frowned at her "Why would I help you? Besides I'm here for myself"

"I know, and I for one think that this has to be the most stupidest stunt you've pulled to date. Why go off on one like that?"

"Raphael humiliated me that's why...I wasn't about to stay there and look like a fool"

"Raphael is a dick. I don't know what you see in him but for some reason you like him; no accounting for taste; and he appears to like you. It was Michelangelo - he got the message wrong. Personally I would not trust that one with anything"

"What do you mean?"

"He got it wrong - what else do you need to know? Raphael had got some special breakfast for you - Robyn had collected it so they met to do the handover. That was it"

My mouth dropped open slightly and I looked at the lift doors as said lift came to a stop and they opened. Two of the familiar 'men in black' stood there instructing us to follow them as one took the front and the other took the back. I felt like I was being taken to the guillotine. It didn't help that I now knew about the confusion that had occurred with Raphael, Mikey and myself.

We reached a door, the man in front knocked and then entered, holding the door open for the rest of us to follow him inside. This would be my first time meeting this guy who called himself 'Shadow' and I was hopeful that even though I was certain he was a mad man - he would know more than me and would therefore be able to provide me with answers.

"Karai...Rosie, _Miss Taylor_...please come inside, take a seat"

The voice I recognised. It was the same one who had spoken to me on my first visit to this facility. Deep, dark and terrifying. I took a deep breath and watched as he stepped out of the corner. This man was huge. His presence was imposing but I wouldn't show that I was intimidated - even though, obviously, I was. A hood covered the most part of his face but I could make out eyes. They glowed almost like an animals.

As we sat down he seemed to grow an extra four feet.

"Welcome both of you. So glad that you could make it"

The way he was dressed made him look like a freaky magician - all he needed was a wand and a big hat; for some reason that made me smile to myself.

"Something amusing there Miss Taylor? I certainly wouldn't be laughing if I was in your position."

"And what position is that?" I asked, my voice faltering though I had tried to keep it steady. I needed to exude confidence; I had to.

"The position of vulnerability Miss Taylor" He walked away, turned and then walked back again.

"Because you think I know nothing?" I added

"Oh I know you are aware. However, there is a marked difference between awareness and knowledge Miss Taylor. For instance, you will change tomorrow and you have no idea when or into what... and that Miss Taylor scares you - and if it doesn't... _it should_ " He glared at me - eyes markedly narrowing.

"It takes a lot to scare me" I answered confidently. _I was so blatantly lying._

He laughed "Really? I find that hard to believe. Having maintained a watch on you for many years I have paid witness to a vast number of things which so easily terrified you"

"If you have watched me for so long - why wait? Why leave me out there at risk? Why was I not brought in sooner?"

"Questions, questions. All of which I can answer and will but not before this one leaves" He nodded to one of the men in black who strode over to Karai and waited before reaching for her arm and grasping it "You are no longer needed. Take her out!"

She shook off the contact and stood up "I don't need an escort" Looking down at me one last time she showed no obvious emotion. I had always found her hard to read and this occasion was no different.

After the door was closed he walked over to the window and stood looking out at the non-existent view.

"Time Miss Taylor is the essence of everything that binds us. You may find this hard to believe but you have always been protected; there was no way we could touch you, well, until now. Your real father may have tried his best to save you but he failed, they all failed. Tomorrow you will change and tomorrow you will show us the way"

"The way to what? This source that I've heard of? I..."

He spun round to face me "The Source is one of the most powerful substances in existence. It will change everything" I stared at him; unsure of what to say, if anything. The amber eyes seemed to glow even more as he advanced on me "Perfecting the process is all I have ever wanted so that all human beings can become"

My breathing automatically sped up "Become what?" I was fearful of the answer yet I wanted to hear it.

"Something else" he replied simply "Something better"

* * *

"I am not just sitting here and waiting for Miss Misery to report back - we have to get out there" Raphael was pacing.

"Wearing out the carpet is not going to help matters bro" added Michelangelo warily

"You!" snapped Raphael, pointing a finger at his brother "Can shut it; it's your fault we're in this mess"

"It's no-one's fault, not really" added Leonardo, desperately trying to keep the peace.

"Okay, I have sorted it...the van is fixed" announced Donatello "So, I'm all ready when you are"

"Donnie, you are a genius" Raphael patted the purple masked turtle on the shell and proceeded to wrestle him into a hug "Let's roll out!".

"Is this officially a rescue mission now?" asked Michelangelo, excitedly grabbing his gear

"For us" began Raphael " _You_ are staying _here_ . You can let us know if Karai makes an appearance" He tossed him a T-phone.

"Awwww... _pants!_ " He slumped on the nearest chair and sulked as the others left him alone.

If there was one thing he _really_ hated (next to wasted pizza) it was being left on his own.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Go forth and change  


I received the grand tour before they shut me away. Sitting on the floor I couldn't get the images of what I had seen out of head. Even as I closed my eyes I could still see them. People...but then... _not_ people.

I rested my chin on my knees.

My God, they were experimenting on human beings. Changing them. Trying to alter their make-up so they would become something else...something _in_ human but as the Shadow saw it: a higher breed of being.

 _It was barbaric._

These people were suffering; they were _in_ _pain._

 _And this monster didn't care._

I hoped to God that Karai would go and get help. I was reliant on her now and boy how I hated it.

* * *

Karai had fought her way out of the TCRI. It had appeared that Shadow was lying to her and that he had planned on taking her out. The singular 'man in black' had escorted her to what she now realised was a 'fake exit' and that they were really taking her to be drugged and then Lord knows what else. She took the lone warrior out with a single blow to the head and then found her own, and very real, exit. Once outside she phoned Leonardo and told him what had happened. As per, Raphael was blasting out in the background moaning on about how she was going to be knocked out once he got his mitts on her. Leo, also as per, was trying to calm his brother down.

Bless Leo. He was such a great leader and such a great guy. And actually in spite of their initial shyness, a great lover too. She smiled to herself then put away her phone and waited.

As the van rounded the corner it was still making noises.

"Thought you fixed this heap of junk Donnie!" growled Raphael as he watched his brother change gear in one jerky crunch.

"It's not a heap of junk!" replied Donatello "This is a first rate piece of machinery, and keep your voice down, she's sensitive"

"O.M.G" Raphael leaned back and shook his head "I almost wish Mikey were here"

"There's the alley, pull over" instructed Leonardo as he spotted Karai. As soon as the van had halted she raced over, slid open the door and jumped in, putting a hand on Leonardo's shoulder as she sat down.

"I ought to nail you" hissed Raphael "you left her!"

"For her own protection" answered Karai defensively "With me out of the way and one knocked out guard they will be sending out a search unit I guarantee it, worrying about what I'll do or say. Rosie will be locked up. They won't touch her until they need to. She's okay Raph, believe me"

"She better be"

"How are we going to get in? Any ideas?" asked Leonardo seriously

"I got one" began Raphael "We storm in and use her as a battering ram" He glared at Karai.

"Sensible ideas only" warned the eldest, giving Karai's hand a squeeze and giving her so much more via the look that passed between them.

"I vote that it was a sensible idea...well, it's the only one we got" Raphael looked to Donatello for support as they neared closer to their destination but the purple banded brother was too busy negotiating the roads to notice.

"Not quite" added Karai "I got out remember? I know how to get back in"

Under Karai's instruction, Donatello took the van around the back of the building and under a large grate where they parked up. She insisted that no-one would see it here. Raphael found that hard to believe considering the circumstances but he went with it anyway. The sooner they were inside the sooner he would see Rosie for himself and know for once and for all that she was really okay.

* * *

Being alone once more in my metallic room - I really could have sworn I was in the exact same one where they had put me last time. Though knowing a building this size they probably had hundreds of metallic rooms all the same and all housing innocent people like myself. I'd come for answers and I'd got them.

I closed my eyes.

If only I had stayed home in England and learned to be content with my 'uninteresting' life then none of this would have happened. Why was it that whenever something good came along it never, ever lasted. _Oh I was jinxed for sure._

Just as I was feeling myself fall into the pit of doom I had a crash and a shouting sound coming from outside my door. I got up and pressed my ear against the metal. In doing so there was one voice which I clearly recognised: Raphael. I could recognise those manly tones of his anywhere. I hammered on the door, screamed and called out until I was sure that I had his attention...well, as sure as I could be. Then I waited.

"Stand back..." came a gruff shout

I moved out of the way as instructed. Just as I had done the first time.

"No need, I've got the..."

One loud bang later and the door was suitably moved enough for Raphael to poke his head round and over me a hand. I took it gladly.

"I had the key code you idiot!" announced Donatello "Two more minutes and I'd have..."

"Two minutes is too long" interrupted Raphael pulling me close into a hug and then picking me up "Sorry.." he whispered, kissing me lightly on the mouth. I put my arms around his neck.

"Me too...I should never have left...I thought..." He kissed me again and I felt myself melting and forgetting that we were in a high security building full of weird beings and random torture devices _oh and some sicko named Shadow_. Karai brought me back down to earth.

"Hey, lovebirds...Can we put the re-union thing on hold until we're outta here?"

"Fine" replied Raphael "But I'm not putting her down"

"Suit yourself" Karai rolled her eyes and whispered something to Leo about 'extra weight'. I chose to ignore it.

I was actually quite glad to be carried. I suddenly felt exhausted so I closed my eyes and leaned my head into his chest, feeling the movement of his body and, in turn, feeling myself relax.

The next thing I knew I was waking up on the couch. We were back in the lair. I must have slept the entire way back here, and then some.

"Hey guys, she's awake" Michelangelo was leaning over me giving me a strange and pitying look. I sat myself up. Raphael quickly appeared next to me with a glass of water.

"How are you feeling?" He looked worried.

It was at that point when I realised Donatello had me hooked up to several monitors and I had numerous wires attached to my person.

"I'm fine...what is all this Donnie?" I took the water and then indicated to all the surrounding electronics.

Raphael looked at his brother and then back to me "Just to monitor you that's all"

 _He was covering over something._ I hadn't known him that long but I knew when he was trying to fob me off.

"What aren't you telling me? What happened?" I put the glass down and stared at him, willing for him to tell me the truth.

But it was Donatello who spoke up: "You were unresponsive for a while..but then..then you came back and it seems now that all is now reading as normal"

I sat there my mouth slightly ajar "I was what? What the heck is unresponsive? I mean, was I unconscious?"

"Sort of..." added Raphael, looking awkwardly at the others.

"Sort of? Either I was or I wasn't..? Donnie?" I looked from one to the other, both of them seemed unprepared to go into detail so it was Karai who stepped up.

"You were clinically dead" she said simply.

"What?!" I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

"Yep..for all of two hours and forty-nine minutes" she added nonchalantly flicking open her watch.

Raphael shot up, his face full of rage "Way to go Karai...we were going for tactful...sensitive" he hissed. Leonardo touched his brother's arm whilst my world went suddenly into slow-mo.

"I was dead?" I heard myself speak but it sounded like I was under water.

"But you're fine now" Donatello showed me the large monitor and smiled "See, this is your heart rate"

"Which you really wouldn't have if you were dead would you?" added Karai. The slender Japanese girl was staring at me as if waiting for me to respond. Again, I chose to ignore her.

"How?" I looked up at my hero; my Raphael. I wanted him to soothe me; to tell me that it was all a misunderstanding and that it was Karai's idea of a joke - albeit a rather sick one.

Raphael bent down in front of me "You had no heart beat" he muttered, looking full of pity as he spoke "No pulse. But like Don says, you're fine now"

My lips automatically fell apart again "What? You sure? Why didn't anyone take me to a hospital?"

"Because...although _that_ happened you were still walking around...you were breathing, you appeared alive"

"Okay..what are we saying here? That I was like a zombie? Dead but not dead?" I shifted my weight forward and went to get up, Raphael grasped my hands and stopped me; tears were once again pricking my eyes "Maybe Donnie's equipment was off - did that ever occur to you?"

"It wasn't. We did the old fashioned way too and you had no pulse...plus we tested the equipment on..."

"Okay..okay..I get it..." My eyes met Raphael's beautiful green ones "Is it something to do with this change?"

"We think it must be to do with all that because whilst you were _that way_...you drew this" Donatello pointed over my head. I turned and followed his gaze finally letting Raphael help me to stand.

I couldn't at first comprehend what it was that I was seeing.

"We think..well, that it could be this map we've heard about..." muttered Donatello as he magically appeared besides me; guiding me forwards. It was my writing but I had no recollection of doing it. There were drawings, codes and words in a language I didn't understand. _Heck, I understood nothing about this._

"It's insane" I barked, turning away, trying to block it out "This isn't real...it's not happening"

"I err think you'll find it is girl, look behind you, oh it's very real and it happened all over their walls" Karai had her arms folded across her chest and was giving me a strange look.

"I didn't do this!" I shouted "I couldn't have done...I'm not 25 yet...it's not my birthday...he he said things would happen on my birthday" I ran a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling panicked yet reassured all at the same time.

Raphael was holding out arms for me to nestle in, I went forward and buried my head into him.

"Perhaps his timing was a little off" whispered Karai shrugging her shoulders.

Again I was Alice, but this time the rabbit hole was a dangerous, scary place and I suddenly felt afraid.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Focus

Rosie had gone to bed, Raphael knew that she wouldn't be sleeping that instead she would be lying awake and worrying. He gave her some space on her own as she really needed that time and he respected that. Half an hour though was long enough and so he washed and got ready to join her. He didn't want to think of her all afraid and on her own. And she was afraid; as was he, though he would never admit it of course - the others would take the mickey out of him for weeks. _Big tough brother gone all soft over a girl.._ but he couldn't help it; he couldn't help how he felt about her and therefore he couldn't help but feel afraid for her.

Rosie had literally collapsed and her heart had stopped. He had felt like his own had been on hold until she regained that normal rhythm and was back to herself. He couldn't even dare to contemplate the thought: _what if it happened again? And what if next time she didn't come back? What would that mean?_

Before going inside his room he was stopped by Donatello.

"Let me know if anything happens bro...I'm here for both of you okay?...just want you to know that"

Raphael was touched by his brother's kind words. Donnie had wanted to keep Rosie in a space where he could monitor her but she refused; wanting to keep everything as normal as possible. That seemed a slightly mad thing to say considering she had officially 'died' for over two hours today.

It worried him and he, Raphael, was not a worrier. Worrying was more Donatello's game; closely followed by Leonardo. So inevitably he was now worried about being worried. Trying not to show it he gave his brother a nod and went in to to see her.

The light was still on and she was lying on her back staring at the ceiling. She looked so sad.

He walked round the bed and got in under the covers, she rolled over and faced him.

"You okay lovely girl?" he whispered, pushing her hair off her face so he could admire her properly.

I wasn't okay so I didn't really know what to say! I couldn't tell a fib but to admit how unhappy I was would be to make it all too real and I couldn't do that either.

"I know you're afraid..but I'm here for you whatever okay?"

"What if I go dead again? I don't remember it so, so what if I go like that and never remember you - I mean, I didn't talk to you did I? I was officially gone wasn't I?" Tears dripped onto the pillow.

"You'll be fine sweetheart, I'm here, I'll protect you" He pulled my body across the bed so that I was lain up next to him; My head rested up against his chest and I inhaled his musky scent.

"How can you protect me from me though?" I murmured "I will have no control over it"

"I know - but I can help you as much as I can..and love you.." He kissed the top of my head.

"Love me?" I moved back a little and looked up at him.

"Yep, love you..just as much as you deserve"

I snuggled closer and kissed him on the mouth "Even if I'm a zombie?"

"Of course...you'll still need love" His large arms were around me and he held me so tight.

 _If I wasn't already in love this mutant turtle I certainly was from that moment on._

* * *

April was woken up by Robyn appearing on the side of her bed "Wakey-wakey sis" she jiggled the mattress by jumping up and down whilst her backside remained in contact with the duvet.

"Okay Robs, cut it out, I'm awake" April sat up "What can I do for you? You do realise I am not working today don't you?"

"Yes" replied Robyn smiling at her "Your coffee is down there and I've cooked pancakes - I am spoiling you today!"

April scooted round and picked up her coffee, the aroma was making her mouth salivate so she blew on it and took a sip.

"What do you want?"

Robyn was April's younger sister - she knew what she was like. If she was nice to her it was code language for her being after something.

"Hey" protested Robyn "Don't be so mean. Can't I just be nice to you?"

"Yes" April took another sip of coffee "That would make a change. So, c'mon, out with it"

Robyn got up "Well, now you mention it..."

"I knew it!" exclaimed April, shaking her head "You're after something"

"I just wanted a lift over to see the guys that's all"

"Why? I thought you and Raph were over"

"We are, but I had an idea I wanted to run past them, well, run past Donnie. It's to do with TCRI"

"You sure? It doesn't have anything to do with being nosy does it?"

"At TCRI?"

"No..the lair" April hugged her coffee in both hands and looked closely at her sister for any signs of imminent porky-pies.

"No. I want to see how they are that's all and I have a suggestion. You know I go home in a couple of days so I thought after all that has happened, especially the tension tween Rosie and I, I just thought that this could be a way to, well, help"

April remained silent and studied Robyn's pleading face before giving in. "Okay. But I'll let them know and I'm coming with you so at least I can remove you once you've served your time...deal?"

"Deal" replied her sister, giving her a grin "C'mon, up, up - pancakes will be so cold by now"

"Give me a moment to finish my drink, then I'll be with you"

Eventually a reluctant Robyn left April to her own devices so she could finish her drink in peace. She loved her sister but could understand why others would say she was over-bearing sometimes!

* * *

The night was fretful. I barely slept. Thinking that every time I closed my eyes that I would never open them again as 'me'. That I would forever become this zombie-like creature who liked nothing better than to draw strange things over people's walls. It was lovely being alongside Raphael. He made me feel so special. I had fancied him for so long I had literally forgotten to celebrate the victory that he was now indeed _my guy_ and that he loved me. Our one night of love-making had been so special and I had hoped for a repeat performance but now that all this other stuff had well and truly taken over it would have to go on a back burner for now.

As I lay there in the darkness I could hear Raphael's deep breathing next to me. I had no idea what time it was because I couldn't see the clock from my position so I decided to slide forwards and sit up. And that's when I saw it - a black shape - a similar black shape like the one I had seen in my hotel room when I first got here, and just like the one in my hotel room it was crouched low to the ground and motionless. I leaned back and poked my sleeping partner. He jumped and shot up.

"Wh.. _what is it_?" he asked, keeping his voice quiet so as not to wake any of the others.

"It's over there...in the corner" I instructed "Do you see it?"

He looked but couldn't see anything. Getting out of bed he snapped on the light, I expected to see a monster but instead there was nothing. Raphael sat down, put his legs up on the bed and pulled me over towards him.

"What did you see?" he whispered, rubbing his eyes

"A shape... _a shadowy shape_...I saw one before, when I was at the hotel..."

I relaxed against him as he massaged my neck and shoulders "You sure you weren't dreaming? All this pressure and stress"

"No. I know what I saw" I replied firmly, whether he believed me or not I was adamant that what I'd seen was real.

As a result of my scary experience I insisted that Raphael kept the light on. He went out and investigated the rest of the lair which was indeed empty then he returned and insisted all was okay.

"Leo's getting up - I can hear him pratting about in his room so it'll be training time in a sec..You okay my lovely?"

I looked up at him, my mind, and eyes, full of questions. I doubt he could answer any of them.

"I'm okay...I guess...so it's morning then?"

He sat down and kissed me "Well it's 5am - don't know about mornin but old Fearless likes us to train early"

I looked at myself in the mirror across the room. I appeared to be normal.

"Oh and Happy Birthday..now that you're okay and shit...we can celebrate properly..and that begins with official 'us time' once I've showered"

I forced a smile. My face really didn't want to show any sunshine today but I tried to make the effort. He kissed me again and then left me to it with instruction to 'yell out' should anything happen. He did offer me the opportunity to watch their training session, well truthfully he begged me to join them but I had plans of my own. I was going to see if I could use the device again. Perhaps it, he, would be able to tell me something else...something more about this map and what it all meant because at this moment in time I felt very, very lost.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: When it rains, it pours

"So what you gonna be doin?" Raphael had leaned over me giving me the part puppy dog part worried expression "I could tell old Fearless that I don't feel like training and stay here with you" He ran a hand down my thigh.

"I'll still be here when you get back" I muttered "So that way you can train in anticipation"

"You're a tease" We exchanged a look and he kissed me on the mouth, gently encouraging my lips to part further and accept the tip of his tongue, I placed my hands round his face and pulled him closer, this exchange was becoming hotter with each exploration. Pulling away with a reluctant groan he stood up, gently touched my face and after faffing around for a while, he eventually left me to it.

And now here I was standing in Donatello's lab staring at the device. A device given to me by strangers containing words spoken by a man I never knew; a man claiming to be my father.

I shuddered.

This could very well change everything.

The reason behind my decision to try to hold it again was an idea that came from a film where the lead character also had access to a hologram device. He used it in different locations and had varying results; I just figured that today I was 25 so perhaps it would tell me something else...something new and something which will 'fill in' a few of the gaps.

 _So,_ I thought to myself, _time to be brave._

And I grabbed it.

* * *

"I am gonna floor you Mr Big I am" hissed Karai, lowering herself down and getting ready to fly forward at Raphael. He anticipated her move, blocked her, flipped her over so she landed roughly on her back.

"I am Mr Big so get used to it sweetheart" he replied, giving her a grin. She swept her leg, twisted it over so he went off balance but remained upright. "Nice try"

"He's right" announced Karai, getting up "I can't shift him from that position" She dusted off her hands.

"Oh but you can" added Leonardo offering her a hand and guiding her over "Lemme show you"

Raphael watched with a raised eye ridge as his brother instructed her to get back into the same position. Michelangelo giggled and nudged Donatello who shook his head.

"Children please...when you've quite finished" scolded Leonardo "I am merely showing Karai a move that can counterbalance from the floor"

"Yeh" laughed Michelangelo "Sure looks like it"

"Time for a lesson" instructed Leonardo "From this position it looks a little difficult for her to move my great hulk of a brother but...Raph can you stand where you were..." Raphael huffed but did as asked "Now if you use this leg instead and put your weight into this foot also..and..."

Seconds later Raphael was on the floor with Leonardo standing over him "And that's how it's done!" he announced. Raphael copied the move and knocked his brother flat out besides him. Karai couldn't help but smirk.

"Double demo" added Mikey "But for what's it worth - count me out"

"That's okay little brother, we are all done for today" Leonardo got himself up "But you should practice - works 9 times out of 10" He smiled at Karai who returned the gesture and took the towel that he offered.

"I'm a fully trained Kunochi Leonardo but, thanks for the tip"

Donatello stopped Raphael as he went to leave, towel in hand, keen to get the first shower before Mikey hogged it "Is Rosie really okay? I mean I know she didn't want to watch us train but did she appear any different to you...any different at all?"

"No" came the grunted response "She's fine".

Raphael exited the dojo and went straight to the bathroom, he was keen to get back to Rosie and spend some 'quality' time together. He only hoped she hadn't got bored and deserted the bed. She had been right, anticipation of intimacy was a great driver. He'd felt good in training. Strong. Powerful. One things for sure he certainly showed that smart ass brother of his. And as for Donatello, that one was too much of a worrier, Rosie was fine, everything would be fine.

Once clean and fairly dry he rushed to his bedroom but Rosie was no where to be seen. Dumping his towel on ground, which would really annoy Leo, he went out to the lounge and kitchen, she wasn't there either. The bathroom was occupied and it sounded like Michelangelo - he couldn't sing and he didn't seem to realise.

Poking his head around the door to the dojo Leonardo and Karai were still in there. It looked like they were having far too much fun to be just practicing Ninjitsu.

 _Where was Rosie?_

Just as he was beginning to panic he noticed the wall. The map was gone. _Had she cleaned it off? why would she do that?  
_

"Raph...Raph you need to come with me..it's Rosie" Donatello was suddenly in his face looking all flustered.

"What..what is it?"

The two of them returned to the lab. The lab - _of course_ \- why hadn't he checked there? Come to think of it he cursed himself for not checking on her first before he had a shower.

She looked like she was sleeping. His brainiac brother had hooked her up to monitors again and as before it was showing flat line but she was breathing.

He held her hand - it was dead cold. With pleading eyes he stared at his brother: "Help her D...please..I can't lose her..."

"Technically it's a little hard to help someone who reads as clinically dead" Donatello pushed up his glasses and stared at his older brother.

"But she's breathing you idiot - that must mean she's alive!" snapped Raphael

Donatello let out a small protest squeak "Technically only _half_ alive.."

Raphael lunged over her body and grabbed his brother by the shoulders "And if you know what's good for you you will make her better do you hear me?"

"I don't know what happened to her" defended Donatello wriggling under the pinch to his skin.

Raphael let him go and bent closer over Rosie "Sweetheart, can you hear me?" Tears were pin pricking his eyes "Help us to help you...what happened"

"I did find this" Donatello showed Raphael the device "She was lying near it so my guess is she used it"

"How? Why?"

"I don't know"

Rosie had been non-responsive the first time this happened and Raphael thought she may be in a similar state this time but if she had been she didn't stay that way.

"The map's gone" added Raphael "Do you think this has something to do with it?"

"Probably...without talking to her I don't know.. _sorry brother_ "

Her lips suddenly parted and a whimper escaped them. Raphael grasped her hands tightly and encouraged her to talk. Her eyes opened and she looked at him.

"What happened?" The tenderness of his voice was so apparent but then so was the look of worry the was etched into his brow. For a moment I couldn't remember what had taken place in this room but like a bolt of lightening a memory flashed through my mind.

A man.

Words.

 _"I'm am sorry for this curse that will pass upon you but my child now you are through the first stage this will be the second. You and your direction will become as one. You will know what to do and where to go. Understanding is the key to your new reality"_

New reality?

I felt cold. Raphael, seemingly anticipating my chills, covered me with a blanket.

I also felt strange; I felt different. Like as if I was detached from my own body - like we were not as 'one' anymore.

"The device.." I began "I held it"

"Why? _Why on your own?_ Why didn't you wait for me to be with you?" His beautiful green eyes looked so sad.

"I don't know... I guess I wanted to be brave...you can't protect me all the time" My throat was sore and my voice raspy as I spoke.

"I can try" He kissed me lightly on the forehead - his mouth felt warm "I want to try, I love you"

"I love you too" I murmured. _And I did._

It was then that I noticed the equipment set up along side me and Donatello busying himself "Am I sick?"

"No..no..you're not sick..." whispered Raphael - still holding my hands.

I then clocked the heart rate monitor and the single flat line passing over the screen.

"My God.." I mumbled "It's real..."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: The next plan

I had most of the morning to attempt to adjust. Raphael, as usual, was fussing over me. It was very sweet but I was beginning to wonder if he was over-compensating and that really at the back of his mind he was thinking how he could get rid of me. I mean, seriously, I was flawed before but now I was one of the un-dead; a goddamn half-ling. Alive yet not; and truth to be I was terrified. I attempted not to show it because no doubt that would throw everyone into meltdown if they were faced with a hysterical zombie girl.

But what exactly would happen to me? How would my body cope without blood flowing around it and carrying vital oxygen? Surely my tissues and organs would die? I had horrific visions of bits dropping off and me being left as just a body minus arms and legs. Donatello tried to reassure me that he was sure it would not be case but he did suggest a transfusion of fluids to keep me somewhat balanced. Inside, deep inside, I think he was worried too and he didn't really know what to do. There was a flurry of computer activity, papers and conversations and then to top it off nicely my pal Robyn arrived. I could hear her high pitched voice all the way from inside the lab.

"I'll go see what the commotion is" growled Raphael, looking slightly irritated by the interruption. A nasty voice in my head hissed: _he knows it's her, he obviously just wants to see how hot she looks. He'd much rather be with her than you fat zombie girl._

"You hear her and you worry" observed Donatello, giving me a sidelong glance. _There was no point lying; he would know, Donatello was, sadly, very insightful._

"I guess..do you blame me? It's even worse now, look at me D..who'd want me now?"

Donatello un-attached the drip and put a plaster on me "Lift up your arm and hold it there" He briefly turned to the computer and then back to me "He adores you - and if I know Raphael as well as I think I do - this will not change a thing, not for him anyway, whether it does for you I don't know"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you will push him away"

I stopped and thought for a moment. _Was I doing that already?_ Was it because I was scared or was it an act of self-preservation?

As I was contemplating and Donatello was tinkering the lab door opened and both Robyn and April came in. Both of them were displaying the obvious 'oh lets pity her look'. Oh God this was going to be so very painful. I tried to focus on April and April alone.

"Hi guys" I said, bringing out my best 'chirpy' voice.

April came up to the couch "Are you okay? I'm so sorry" She looked really uncomfortable; like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"Hey no need" I replied "It was bound to happen wasn't it - something bizarre was right on the cards remember? Don't be sorry..please, it'll be okay"

"How can it be?" I swear I saw her eyes welled up.

"It's fine" I insisted "It's all part of the plan"

"Speaking of plans - I have one too" Robyn pushed her way in between us "And I really hope it will help"

I tried not to roll my eyes but _jees_ it was so difficult, she just tempted me to do it at every encounter.

"What's your plan?" I had no choice now but to look at her.

"To get into TCRI" she replied simply "I'm a scientist, I can blag my way in, say I'm from England I have links with Novak and so on so that's good right?"

I stared at her "You are from England. But wait, you really have links with Novak?"

"Yes..they're a corporate sponsor for my firm. Oh sorry, I know that was who got you here - awkward isn't it? But you know what this allows me to really help doesn't it? This way I can really do what I set out to do"

Raphael came back into the lab, closely followed by Michelangelo, who, typically, was not allowed in the lab because he broke things.

"I think that's enough now please, she really needs to rest" Raphael took up position round the other side of the nursing couch.

"I'm not sick Raph; I'm half dead"

Robyn suddenly had hold of my hand "You are so very brave. I would be freaking out right now"

I stared at her again "Believe you me I'm in swan mode"

She frowned and looked confused.

"Calm on top, paddling like mad underneath? Never heard of that analogy? No? Never mind" I removed my hand from her own "Robyn has a plan - and she works alongside Novak, how interesting is that?"

"Novak? Weren't they the ones who?"

"Yes Raphael they were, the ones who got me here under falsity and who work in front of TCRI. But anyway, wait till you hear her plan"

I was being a bitch but quite frankly I didn't care and she didn't seem to realise. She smiled at Raphael "I just wanted to do something practical so I thought get into TCRI..you know, under-cover. That way I can see what they are doing"

"I think we kinda know what they're doing but you go ahead" Now I rolled my eyes, I just couldn't help it. This girl was clearly delusional.

"Are you sure that's wise?" asked Raphael, folding his arms "Or safe? What if you get found out?"

"I won't silly. I'm very good at playing a role" she smiled at him again "But, thanks for caring"

 _Oh she just had to get it in there didn't she?_

"I say if she wants to go and be helpful then I'm all for it" I fixed Raphael with my most serious look.

"But she'll put herself in danger, and we already know what's going down, you said that much yourself"

"Not all of it" I protested "There could be more"

He bent closer to me "Why are you doing this?" he whispered

"Why not?" I hissed "She wants to help, don't you Robyn?" I turned my attention back to her; and yes, she was still smiling... _what the hell was she on?_

"Of course I do" she swooned "I want to help my good friend Rosie Taylor"

I automatically flinched as she stroked my face. I never knew we were friends but apparently, yes, we were.

Michelangelo was hovering about and was now looking at me nervously "So...you're feeling okay? Look I just want to ask mean as you're a...well, you know...You won't eat our brains will you?"

"No Mikey, I won't eat any brains" I really couldn't believe he would even suggest it!

"Fat chance she could find yours bro, let alone eat it" teased Raphael giving his brother a smirk.

"Hey! I have brains!" answered the youngest, feeling his head and looking rather put-out.

"Can I have some time with Rosie please? Just us" Raphael appealed to the group.

Donatello put down his tools and nodded "No funny business though...not in my lab"

I felt my face flush up...I mean _as if?_ I doubted there would be any funny business ever again.

After receiving several hugs (one that I didn't particularly want but got anyway) it was then time for just Raphael and I, and by the look on his face I could tell he wasn't happy.

"Why would you do that? I hope it isn't a revenge thing" he began sharply; there was a coldness in his voice that I didn't like. So I pretended to act all innocent: "Whatever do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean you little devil you.. Robyn, putting herself in harms way at TCRI - she ain't Karai, she ain't tough, if they catch her she won't stand up to it"

I pursed my lips "Look Raphael, she offered"

"Yeh but you could talk her out of it!"

I scowled at him "And tell me why would I want to do that? She irritates me, she's so blatantly still into you and the way you're defending her coupled with my current affliction why don't you just dump me now and go fuck her; you know you want to"

"What! Where the heck is this coming from?" he replied curtly

I wanted to cry but couldn't "I'm different now...I'm a zombie for fucks sake...look at me! I'm a frigging mess"

He took a deep breath, stepped closer and bent to kiss me "I love you" he murmured "Whatever you are you daft thing, you could be a vampire for all I care" He covered my lips and face with kisses. I giggled and couldn't help but put my arms around his neck and pull him closer encouraging his mouth to settle on mine and kiss me properly. I found myself letting out a moan as my body began to respond.

He chuckled and held my face in his hands "You're lovely"

I curled my lips up into a shy smile "But...I'm not the same Raph, I wouldn't blame you if.."

He kissed me again, silencing me.

"I love _you_ zombie girl so will you stop now?" He took up my hands in his own and kissed them "But, please, promise me you'll speak with Robyn...imagine how April will feel should anything happen to her sister"

My face immediately fell. I knew the good moment was too darn good to last. Why did he have to keep talking about Robyn? The voice in my head popped up again: _It's because he loves her really you stupid fat idiot - later on the two of them will be at it like rabbits._

I simply nodded numbly, let him hold me a while and then feigned that I was tired and needed to rest. He offered to carry me to his room but I declined saying I would rather stay in here for now; Donnie and I were going to talk about the map.

It was all blatant lies and he bought the entire thing.

Why oh why would I talk to Robyn? I couldn't stand her and I wanted her to go; I wanted her to go and get caught and I hoped that the Shadow would torture her - and torture her a lot. Robyn had become the vision of all those girls who had bullied me at school and therefore I wanted revenge. For years I had suffered at the hands of bullies - girls who were perfect and were happy to point out my imperfections. I pulled the blanket up to my neck and waited for Donnie to return.

* * *

"She comes from England, has very high references" Two suited men were standing in front of Lord Shadow whilst an equally smartly dressed woman passed over papers.

After flicking through them he arrived at the photograph and chuckled to himself.

"Okay, let her come" he answered simply "We can put her through her paces"

The woman nodded and left.

As soon as she was out of the room the Shadow laughed even harder "These pathetic humans thinking that they can play games. Oh yes, let her come, and then we can play some games of our own"


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Darkness falls

Turns out I did fall asleep. Luckily Donnie's nursing trolley was an _actual_ nursing trolley - as in with 'sides' - or I swear I would have fallen out and given myself a nasty bump. Sitting up I pulled back the blanket and prepared to shimmy myself to the end and slide off. The lab was quiet. Donatello, I assumed, must have decided that I was okay to be left alone and that he had finished poking and prodding me. I was surprised that Raphael wasn't around though as I had really thought he would have back and lingering around. Perhaps he had run off with Robyn or they were making mad passionate love in his room.

I shuddered at the last thought and as I entered the main room in the lair and saw that no-one was around I felt a wave of panic followed by a wave of nausea.

 _Where the Hell were they?_

"Raph!..." I crept towards his bedroom and tapped on the door. There was no reply so I opened it. He was no where to be seen so I edged back round to Mikey's and his too was empty. Finally after I checked all the rooms including the dojo and bathroom, I found myself standing alone in the lounge, my back against the wall, arms across my chest, hugging myself.

Something strange was happening here; there was no way everyone - including Karai - would just...vanish.

"Guys! Hey...this isn't funny you know" I glanced back into the kitchen. It was still deserted.

The lounge lights flickered on and off.

 _What the heck was going on?_

My breathing - which was all I had left - tripled in intensity - short, sharp breaths in and out, in and out, in and out. I began to feel light headed.

A low growl came from somewhere in the room.

The lamp in the corner flickered again and went out. By now my back was well and truly trying to melt into the wall, I was pushing myself away so firmly it was almost as if I was trying to become 'one' with the concrete.

The growl came again, and once again I couldn't tell from where, it was just somewhere, out there, in the gloom. But what was it? What, other than a dog could make such a sound? And as far as I knew the guys didn't have a pet. This beast - whatever it was - did not sound friendly.

I edged my way along the wall very slowly - heading as quietly as I could - back to the lab. At least in there I could lock the door and Donnie had a vast number of sharp instruments that could be used as weapons.

Just as I was ever so close - close enough to reach the handle - this being flew out of of the darkness. All I could see were amber eyes, like an animals, and blackness...a lot of blackness. I screamed - like literally screamed as if my life (what was left of it) depended on it.

"Hey..shush..it's okay" Donatello was suddenly over me like a tall green saviour and I reacted the only way I could, I flung my arms around his neck and hugged him. He stiffened a little, not overly used to this big display of affection least not from a girl. Raphael had told me that Donnie was not over tactile - not like Mikey, who by all accounts, was often a little too tactile.

"My God I thought...I saw...oh it was horrid"

"You're shaking. Look, err, let me go get Raph"

I released him from my vice like grip and mumbled sorry. He was blushing deeply and looked so very uncomfortable.

"No worries..I'll just...err..Raph" And he rushed from the room.

I wondered why Raphael hadn't come tearing in when he had heard me scream - perhaps he was still mad at me for the entire Robyn thing.

So I really _had_ fallen asleep. I'd fallen asleep and I was dreaming. This particular dream had felt so very real though and I was literally terrified - what the Hell _was_ that thing? I looked at the device. It was still out on the side. Would it..?

I jumped off the nursing couch and stood in front of it. What else did I have to lose? Perhaps as now it would make me fully dead and I could stop being so afraid.

I touched it with a finger, gently, but firm enough to cause it to activate. The room lit up and the image appeared. _The man who claimed to be my father, a man I had never known._ It made me sad, almost as if I was grieving for this man as well as my own wonderful father - my true father; the wonderful tall and kind man who had raised me.

The image waited quietly, looking at me, as though he were real, as if waiting for a question. So, I asked it what I wanted to know:

"What on earth was that thing?"

"That, my daughter, was a Shadow Dweller. As your time draws near they will appear to you more, you are like a beacon to them - they want..."

"What, what do they want?" I felt nervous; on edge.

"To stop you" came the simple reply "To stop your quest"

"Why? What does this all mean?" My voice was sounding more and more desperate.

"Because of what you must do, because of what you will do, and because of all you will become"

"Who you talking to babe?"

Raphael appeared behind me, a look of worry and concern etched upon his brow. The hologram had vanished.

"Oh..no-one" I muttered, turning to face him. He put his large arms around me and held me close, I inhaled his beautiful manly scent.

"Don says you had a bad dream" he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

"Yes" I whispered back, pushing my cheek into his chest "I did"

* * *

TCRI was one impressive place. The laboratories were much more equipped than any she had ever seen back home. Robyn didn't know where to focus her eyes next. Visually, it certainly looked the part.

"Of course, these are only the middling projects" The smart dressed guide looked at her "The real work, the exciting work, takes place upstairs. Would you like to see?"

"Oh yes" answered Robyn enthusiastically.

On the upper floors was where all the secret work took place; Rosie had told her that much.

As they entered a lift Robyn noticed that the woman did not press a floor number as was usual. Instead she took out her phone and made a quick call.

"Yes...we're coming up now" She put the phone away and smiled. The lift took on a life of it's own and moved slowly. Due to the fact that there were no numbers beyond the floor they had just left Robyn didn't know whether they were moving upwards, downwards or to the side. It made her feel a little uneasy.

April had begged her not to go through with this but as her sister was an investigative journalist who always put herself at risk she couldn't really argue against Robyn doing the same. Besides the staff here at TCRI had been so kind and so very professional; asking her lots of questions about her role back at home in England.

The lift suddenly halted and the doors slid open. Waiting to greet them were two men in black suits. Black was obviously the colour of choice here.

They were escorted along a corridor and stopped outside a plain metal door. The suited woman turned to Robyn.

"This is where our most important work takes place. I'm sure you will find it fascinating" The two men opened the doors and guided her inside whilst her escort remained outside.

"You're not coming?" asked Robyn, glancing back

"No" she replied "My job here is done"

As the door closed Robyn turned only to come face to face with the man who must be known as the Shadow. His very appearance made her fearful.

"Welcome Miss O'Neil" he began

"No I'm.." protested Robyn, who had, as a matter of caution, used a false surname.

He held up a gloved hand "No games Miss O'Neil. We all know who you are so let's just get this over with shall we? You want to know what we do here - so how about we show you"

The two men moved in and each of them grabbed an arm.

"Hey!" Robyn struggled but to no avail - they marched her forwards and towards a huge machine with a single metallic chair in the middle. Once pushed into the chair metal clasps latched around her wrists, ankles and waist. The men then fixed a band around her head. She couldn't move.

"Look, this is not what I came for...besides people know I'm here, they'll look for me and then you'll be in trouble!" She was trying to make herself sound tough and threatening even though inside she was literally petrified. Monitors were hooked up to her neck and a needle thrust into her arm.

"Ow..look..please...please don't do this, whatever you're thinking of doing please don't"

Her protests were ignored as one of the men started up the device.

"This Miss O'Neil is our pride and joy. I'm surprised Miss Taylor didn't tell you about it. We call it the Change 2000 - sounds like some sort of bad vacuum cleaner going through menopause but let me assure you it is not the name that is important. This machine can create a whole, complete other you from just a few cells. And that, my dear, will be the woman that will fly home to England and then merge into life forgetting all about her older sister in Manhattan and that in turn will allow us to have some real fun with you." The Shadow bent over her and was by now so close she could feel his breath on her face "Because not only am I going to clone you my dear, I am going to help you to become"

"Become what?" asked Robyn, her voice trembling

"Something else" he replied simply "Something _better_ "

Another set of needles appeared into view, she clocked them out of the corner of her eye as they advanced towards her. It was then that she heard screaming and it was then that she realised those screams of terror were coming from straight from her own mouth. Lord Shadow clasped his hands together and laughed.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Blame

I spent the majority of the day thinking and resting. It seemed ridiculous really - to be resting when I was half dead. But all this zombie stuff was hard work. And so it came to be that the entire day had practically finished and I had done absolutely nothing. Well, that wasn't entirely true. I did manage to re-load the device (I preferred that to communicator which was Donatello's pet name for it) so that I could show the guys what I had been told. They were all as mystified as I was except for Donnie who said he understood it perfectly.

"It's all about preparation. As you go through each stage you have access to an update" he announced simply

"Each stage? What the frig are you prattling on about?" Raphael glowered at his brother "She's been through enough don't you think? Why on earth would he own father put her through anything more?"

"He's no father of mine" I muttered "Not really. My real dad raised me - this one just left me and then allowed me to go through all this and with no real warning" I felt my lower lip tremble. Raphael noticed and wrapped his arms around me, keeping me close. I loved being close to him - just smelling his scent was enough to help me relax.

"You two are just adorable" exclaimed Michelangelo hugging himself and doing kissy noises.

"And you'll be panned if you don't knock it off, you mush" came the blunt reply as Raphael cracked him over the back of the head.

"Hey.." I scolded reaching for his hand and holding it "No violence"

"So what are we going to do Donnie? Do we just wait?" Leonardo was fiddling with the device until Donatello reclaimed it.

"Sadly yes, from what I can gather the communicator will inform at each stage. This piece of equipment has a staggered time released"

"English please" interjected Raphael "I don't speak science"

"At each stage the device will give out a new piece of information"

"I don't get it!" said Michelangelo shaking his head "You mean there's _more_ to come? How much more can there be? She's already half dead...jees and I thought this guy was supposed to be your dad!"

"We just have to hope that there isn't and that Donnie is wrong don't we?" Raphael gave his brother a friendly shove "I don't see how there can be any more - so for once, I kinda agree with Mikey"

"But the map? You say that's now inside your head?" Leonardo was still frowning at me.

"Apparently that's how it works. I had to give up to gain...or something like that... All of these stages are like tests, like preparation" I had to admit I sounded like I knew what I was on about and although I sounded calm I was nothing like. In my own head I was just 'accepting'. There was nothing I could do about it and it would happen whether I liked it or not; but at least I had Raphael. Luckily for me he hadn't run away screaming.

Leonardo decided it was time to have a a time out. He and Karai went to the dojo to 'meditate' on things - or so they said.

"How you feeling?" Raphael put an arm about my shoulders and led me outside into the corridor.

"I'm still here" I mumbled; in desperate need of love and reassurance. He turned me round and took hold of my face in his hands.

"And you will be for a very long time"

I raised my eyebrows "You don't know that, I mean what if..."

"No. No 'what ifs' you naughty girl" Picking me up he cuddled me close, planting a series of kisses on my face and making me giggle. I was just beginning to relax when April burst in, tears were streaming down her face and she was practically in hysterics. I found myself dropped down onto the floor and abandoned as Raphael rushed over and sat her down then rushed to get her a glass of water.

I edged forward to join them and sat myself next to April, she turned to face me as I asked her what happened.

"It's Robyn. I don't hear anything all day and then I get a random text saying she's going back to England with no view to ever coming back"

"That's ridiculous!" said Raphael, a look of concern settling on his handsome face "She would never leave without a proper good bye, that just isn't her"

I found myself glaring at him: "You didn't know her _that_ well" I hissed

"Well enough" he answered, glaring back "And she wouldn't leave her sister"

April's hands were shaking as she grasped the glass and took a sip "It's TCRI" she whimpered "I know something has happened to her there, why the hell she was so keen to go is beyond me, would you go find her? Please?"

Raphael squeezed her hands and stood up "Of course"

"And then put yourself in danger?" The words were out of my mouth before I had an opportunity to reflect on the content. They all looked at me.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that" said Raphael giving me a look which vaguely translated as 'disappointment'.

"Well..." I began, following him to the dojo "It's true. Shadow is dangerous"

Before reaching the door he took a breath "We can't leave her out there"

"So what you go in and rescue her like her Knight in Shining Armour! Can't the others go and you stay here?"

 _Oh I was on fire today!_

He chose to ignore me and in turn collected Leo and Karai and then went to tell Donatello what was happening. I was left sitting on the couch feeling angry and upset.

As they all prepared to roll out I tried once more to stop Raphael from going but he wouldn't be persuaded.

"I have to support my brothers" he protested "We don't know what it's going to be like in there. Donnie's staying so you'll not be alone"

"But it was her choice to go" I argued "She wanted to do this, I didn't make her"

April strode up to me, eyes still red from crying "She wouldn't have chosen to die"

"Pity" I spat. _Yes I really did say that and yes I really did think that._

"Hey, that's enough! What is with you today?" Raphael stepped between us just as April looked about ready to take me out. He moved me away from the group but I could hear April slagging me off but quite frankly I didn't care. I didn't like Robyn and I was glad she wasn't here.

"Why are you acting like this?" He had his hands on my shoulders.

"Because I can!" I replied "I thought that we would have time together but no the first hint of damsel in distress and you're there... well don't expect me to be here when you get back"

I swiveled away from him and went and sat down. For a moment all I could feel were his eyes on me; trying to figure out why this sweet girl had been replaced with something utterly demonic. I kept my head down refusing to meet those emerald eyes and be made to feel bad - I was sick of losing out to the pretty girl damn it!

Two minutes later I was sitting there all on my own with only the furniture for company. I couldn't believe he had chosen that wailing banshee over me. Gritting my teeth and muttering under my breath I went to his room to get some bits together and then I headed to the lab. I managed to distract Donatello long enough in order to pocket the device and he was left believing that I had a real genuine interest in inter-dimensional time travel.

* * *

At TCRI they decided to go through the same entrance as previously. Leonardo thought this would be a better plan as they probably wouldn't expect it. He noticed that Raphael, instead of being fired up as usual, was quiet and thoughtful all the way there. He had obviously taken to heart the row with Rosie and was now worried she really would do a bunk.

"You okay bro?" He felt concerned as he clocked Raphael's sad expression.

"I'm fine" he snapped

"Because if you don't feel up to it.." added Leonardo cautiously

"I am! Stop fussing Fearless okay?"

"We can't afford any mistakes in there so.."

"THERE WON'T BE ANY!" He face palmed his brother and pulled out his sais, pushing one forwards in Leonardo's neck "I'm ready okay! They'll be no mistakes. Turtles first remember"

Leonardo was pleased with his brother's loyalty and the fact that he wanted to be a part of the team but he knew he was in serious denial.

Once they successfully negotiated their way inside the building they decided to split up. Raphael ended up with Michelangelo whilst Leo set off with Karai. There was so much ground to cover that it was just easier this way though being landed with Mikey was already giving Raphael a headache.

They tried each door as and when they reached it. Each camera was taken out at every turn leaving them more and more vulnerable should anyone be monitoring.

"What are we looking for again?" whined Michelangelo as he tried the next set of doors "And what do we do if we come across that Shadow dude? We need a plan bro"

"The plan is do as I say" answered Raphael pulling on the doors opposite "None of these goddamn doors move!"

As he reached the set of double doors at the end of the corridor they beeped and clicked open.

"Uh-oh!" began the youngest "I don't like the sound of that"

"Did you touch anything?" asked Raphael suspiciously; typically it was always Mikey who pressed a button and landed them in trouble.

"I did nothing!" squeaked Michelangelo holding up his hands "I'm innocent bro"

"You better be" He pulled out his T-phone and messaged Leonardo "Let's hope _he's not_ tied up with Karai"

And with that he slipped inside, the doors clicking close behind him. The room was full of machines to which Michelangelo gazed at in awe.

"Donnie would love it here!" he announced "Shall we phone him?"

"No you idiot we shall not phone him! Look for any clues but don't touch anything"

"Ooo, what's this one do?" Michelangelo had found a larger machine at the back of the room.

"How the heck am I supposed to know? But don't you dare touch it" Raphael was keeping his guard up as well as taking in the bizarre nature of this room - some of the items in the containers didn't look like your typical equipment but all the containers seemed to have a purpose as part of the process.

"Err...Raph" Michelangelo sounded distracted and his voice uneasy

Raphael, meanwhile was taking a closer look at one of the containers, the contents of this one looked very familiar.

"I think you should come look at this...bro... _please_ " Raphael tapped the glass and as he went over to his brother a bright blue eye in the container opened and blinked.

"What is it? and keep your voice down! Not unless you want to bring the entire staff of TCRI down on us"

Michelangelo made a little squeal and pointed. Raphael followed his direction to the larger machine at the back. It was then that he realised it was not all machine. He pulled out his T-phone and dialed.

"Leo...you're gonna want to come up here. It's Robyn. We've found her.."

A wave of nausea hit him. The machine and Robyn were connected - cables had crudely invaded her skin. Her hair had been shaved and her skin looked pale and bruised.

"Holy cow...I ain't ever seen anything like this before" whispered Michelangelo "I wish Donnie were here" He was nervously chomping on his fingers.

"Pack it in, Donnies not here so we just have to deal with it okay...Leo will be here soon and he'll know what to do"

The tremor in his voice reflected his unease. _Just who the hell would do this and why?_

 _One name popped into his head:_

 _Shadow._


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32: Believing is seeing

"What the..." Leonardo couldn't bring himself to even finish the words before finding himself so caught up in the horrific vision before him that he lost his trail of thought. Even Michelangelo had gone silent which, for the most part, indicated that something was _seriously_ wrong.

As leader of the group Leo had been prepared to receive notice from his brother as to what was happening should they run into trouble or find anything strange. They'd done both. For Robyn it looked like she had been attached to some sort of machine that was doing something, though what this was he didn't entirely know. Whatever it was doing it appeared to be very unpleasant, draining blood out of her and then putting something else back in it's place. Her head had been crudely shaved and a number of thin wires connected. As they were covered up it was impossible to see whether they went directly into the brain or not.

"If only we had Donnie here..." he added whilst trying to snap himself out of the trance like state which had entered his body. Karai was inspecting the machine and the cables that linked to Robyn.

"Sick fucks" she muttered, shaking her head "I don't think there's any way to disconnect this thing Leo" answered Karai as she reappeared from the behind the back of Robyn "It's like they're joined; fused and it's in such a way that if you try anything with either you'll likely make the whole thing worse"

"How can it get worse?" shrieked the youngest pointing both of his thumbs in a back handed direction "Have you _seen_ her?"

"Shush Mikey" hissed Raphael "Leo will come up with a plan won't you Leo? We can't just leave her here"

"We mightn't have a choice" replied Leonardo sadly as he observed the larger cables heading in the direction of her calf muscles "I think Karai may be right"

"Oh she's definitely right" came a voice from the front of the room "Disconnect that one if you dare"

A woman in a smart suit stood by the entrance to the door and standing behind her were half a dozen men; also in suits. They were each holding firearms and pointing them straight at the group.

"So...what's it going to be?" The woman crossed her arms over her double breasted jacket.

Raphael took a breath and pulled out his sais "You are so gonna to pay for what you've done!" he snarled, rushing forwards. The men stepped forward and fired at will.

"Karai, Mikey, take it. I'll join with Raph" Leonardo unsheathed his katanas and backed his brother in battle; managing to dodge the bullets and de-arm two of the men. But these men weren't going down without a fight. Two of them were atop of Karai until Leonardo spotted her struggle and dragged them off.

"They're so strong" she hissed "I just couldn't move them"

He placed his shell against her back, he could feel the heat radiating off her as the two of them circled about to face the onslaught "Remember the weight - place it, flip it" he instructed. Karai shook her head.

"It ain't the weight that's the issue" she added "It's their strength, I've never..."

Suddenly one of them lunged at her, grabbing her arm and pulling, she flipped her body round and kicked him in the face.

"I don't want to hit a woman but you are seriously testing me sweetheart" growled Raphael

The suited woman smirked at him "Do your worse" she mocked.

"Enough!" A deep booming voice stopped the fight immediately "Cease these childish squabbles. I will take it from here"

The three turtles and Karai watched as the extra figure entered the room.

"It's Shadow" spat Karai "He's the one you want, the sicko behind this little venture"

"Oh Karai, I'm hurt...you know your father is in here too... _would you like to say hello?"_

* * *

Back at the lair I was just about to leave when the device began to vibrate and in such a way she had never experienced before. Pulling it out of the bag it literally jumped out of her grasp the light spreading into the entire room and sending Donatello speeding out of his lab just as the image appeared into view.

"What the heck is this?" he shouted in a high pitched voice that indicated nothing but pure panic

"I don't know! It looks like TCRI. Same kind of decor" I shouted.

As we watched the view point moved along a corridor to a room at the end and then as they entered it was like being part of something but then again not.

"Is that Raph and Leo?" asked Donatello, which, on reflection was a ridiculous question since there weren't exactly a lot of mutated turtles in the world - especially ones that wielded weapons as expertly as these two appeared to be.

"Shadow..." I mouthed. I could clearly make him out - that a bunch of suited individuals who were looking like they were at war but not properly dressed for it. So if they were in there had they got to Robyn? I didn't know. All I did know is that it looked like they were in trouble needed to get out and fast. After what I'd experienced within TCRI I couldn't just abandon them - Hell, I didn't want them to go in the first place.

I gripped my hands into tight little balls and tried to focus all of myself on what I saw. The device had kicked into action for a reason and it had to be something to do with me and the situation they were in..it had to.

* * *

Within TCRI smoke began to pile into the room to which wind swirled it into a cone like shape but did not remove it. Leonardo couldn't work out where this had come from but he took it as a lucky break and shouted for them all the get out of here. Raphael hesitated briefly, he hated leaving Robyn exposed to further torture but Karai grabbed his arm and yanked: "C'mon, there's nothing you can do for her now" Letting out a grunt of defeat he took flight with the others leaving Shadow wrapped up in what only be described as some sort of mini dust storm.

"What the hell was that?" demanded Raphael "And just _why_ are we leaving again?"

"Because we have to plan this better - there ain't no way we would get Robyn outta that - you saw her Raph be sensible" Leonardo helped Karai descend the stairs "I call that thing a lucky break wouldn't you? Whatever it was it distracted them long enough for us to get out or do you want us all hooked up to things like that?"

Raphael knew what his brother was saying but he still couldn't help but feel guilty. They'd failed to rescue her. And that had been the whole point of the mission. Yes Robyn had been fun fling and he knew it was Rosie who he loved but to fail always felt like a let down. He had been backing away from rescues because he felt like too much had changed. But lately it had actually felt good to be part of the old team - to be with his brothers.

Missing the obvious firing of guns they all piled into the van and Leo took them out just in time as the two large gates drew together slammed shut.

"Phew! That was close" exclaimed Michelangelo, wiping his forehead "But you ain't getting me back in that space every again bro, never" he squealed, pulling a face to match the feelings of terror that coursed through him.

"Knock it off Mikey you wimpoid, it weren't that bad" Raphael moved further forward "In fact I don't see why we had to leave - we shouldn't have taken that guy out when we had the chance"

"Err Raph, were you present back there? Those guys were too heavily armed, it was too much of a risk and, err, did you look at the ceiling?"

"No!" retorted Raphael "Why would I be looking at the ceiling when there were idiots to pound"

"Well I saw it - and trust me - you wouldn't have wanted to stick around..unless that is you wanted to end up just like Robyn. Christ it was like that entire room was alive"

"Alive? What are you on about. They were just machines...machines and cables" Raphael didn't understand what his brother was on about.

"That's the point - they weren't _just_ machines. They were people."

"Err guys..." mumbled Michelangelo, stumbling between them "I think I've been hurt..."

* * *

Donatello was examining the device closely "I won't ask how it got out here.." he began "or about that bag of things over there...but what I will say you and this communicator are more closely linked than I first thought"

I leaned back on the sofa and allowed him to continue.

"It showed you a vision and allowed you to link to the situation at hand. I mean, I'm stunned, here I was trying to find a cure for your situation but I don't think that's an option"

"You've just realised that?" I had to admit I was slightly stunned as he was normally so on the ball "Donnie, as much as I appreciate everything you've been trying to do this is just beyond your control. Do you not see - this entire thing has been mapped out from start to finish. The only decision I had to make was whether to come to New York or not and they knew that I would. These people know me better than I know myself"

Donatello could sense my anxiety but rather than edge away he sat himself next to me and patted my arm "You were going to run weren't you?"

I nodded.

"You know you're better here - you and Raph will sort it - I mean, you obviously like him enough to do what you did.."

I flopped my head onto his lean shoulder and closed my eyes, he smelt different than Raphael.

"I know" I muttered "It's just, I don't see where this is going to go. I'm going to have to find this source eventually and..."

"You have friends here. We will support you - so no more talk of running okay?"

"Who's running?"

They'd come back and in what was a clear demonstration of stealth had entered the lair without me realising. They looked battered and bruised but Michelangelo, it appeared was the worse off and he was bleeding.

"D...we need you, Mikey's been shot" Donatello was up like a shot himself and into the lab with Leo, Karai and the youngest turtle.

Raphael stood there opposite me.

"We'll talk later okay? for now... I err gotta see if Mikey's okay?..okay"

I looked at him quietly, trying to read him but unsure of what to say. I didn't want to come out with the wrong thing. I was worried for Mikey and I wanted to know that he was safe but I also didn't want to get in the way. He looked uncomfortable and I felt uncomfortable so I think both of us were glad when the moment was over and I was once again on my own. I glanced at my bag and at the device.

I was on my own - I could make a break for it.

Someone else, it appeared had other ideas.

"And just where are you going?"

Karai was standing behind me - her arms folded across her petite frame giving me a very puzzled look.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty-Three** : Talk and listen; learn and love

"So...?"

Karai was still staring at me, her dark eyes reflecting suspicion and her stance demonstrating her growing inpatience as she waited for an explanation.

"What?" I began innocently "I'm not doing anything..." I glanced down at my hands which were tightly gripping the bag and the device.

"Looks to me like you're doing a runner"

"No..." I replied trying to keep my face straight and serious.

"Oh c'mon Rosie, you practically have it written on your forehead. You were just talking about it with Donatello and now you're up and on your feet the moment you think the coast is clear"

"I resent your implication" I snapped "I was merely moving these things out of the way"

Karai held out her hand and indicated towards the bag. I held it closer to me.

"C'mon, hand it over. I can pop it on the hook stand for you over here"

She was glaring at me but in doing so there was another look which flitted over her face. And it was not a look I was familiar with; she almost looked... _concerned._

I relented and I handed her the bag; she snatched it up and took it over to the stand as promised, twirling the handles around top so it wouldn't easily be moved.

Then she turned back round to face me "Look I won't ask for the thingy me bob because knowing Donatello he'll want it back and no doubt want to chat to you about what happened but I think you need to see beyond the world of 'Miss Taylor' and open up your eyes"

I was stunned, so stunned in fact that I couldn't say anything in response: _was she lecturing me?_

"Once Michelangelo is settled, one of them - probably Leo - will have to come out here and phone April. Do you know how hard that is going to be?" She took a breath "They failed to save her sister, they let their oldest friend down - that is something which will cut deep"

At the word 'cut' I automatically rubbed my scar covered arm; it was kind of like a reflex action that I couldn't help but react to. It was not that I planning to self harm; I never ever wanted to do that again but it was always there at the back of my mind.

"They don't like to let anyone down...let alone a friend. Leo will take this defeat on himself as leader."

"But it wouldn't have been anyone's fault, what that Shadow guy is doing is just insane and if he had her already in the process..." My words drifted off into just a noise "It's no-one's fault"

Karai frowned at me "And yet you were going to leave - to walk out on a bunch of guys who have been nothing but nice to you - given you a home, fed you, clothed you.. and how come you know about..?"

"Because I saw them too. People. People being changed...or tortured for want of a better word. Why do you think I didn't want you to all to go?"

"From what I remember you didn't want Raphael to go, I never heard the rest of us mentioned"

"I _meant_ all of you.." I mumbled, realizing that I was now coming across as a child whose bottom lip had dropped at least three inches.

"When I first met them I was on the opposite side" began Karai "Leo changed all that" Her lips curved up into a smile "Since the loss of my father I had felt so...alone...and he changed all that too"

I suddenly felt guilty.

"Raphael adores you. Anyone can see that. Robyn was not right for him - you are. If you run it'll destroy him, because not only will he have lost the battle for April's sister and saving her but he will have lost you too"

Now I felt really, _really_ guilty.

I conceded defeat and lowered myself down onto the chair opposite her. I wasn't used to being around Karai like this and having any sort of normal conversation. Typically I had disliked her as she reminded me so much of the high school bullies I had encountered during my five years of hell at secondary school.

"You don't know how lucky you are" Her dark chocolate eyes locked my own "You will be so cared for and so protected. I was a mess and Leo sorted me out, I was drowning and he saved me - yes I know it sounds cheesy and unlike me but he's...he's unlike anyone I ever met. He's amazing"

I glanced down at my hands - the palms were sweating so I wiped them on my trousers "I never thought anyone like Raphael would ever like someone like me. When he was with Robyn.."

"And that is the operative word 'was' - believe you me whilst he feels obligated as they all to - to rescue, to save, to conquer and all that stuff...He loves you and all he wants is you...so..the sooner you accept that the better...that way, I don't have to keep an eye on you all the time"

I found myself giving in "I do feel bad for Robyn, a little... _was it really awful?_ "

The lab door opened and both Leo and Raph exited "He'll be okay. Donnie is one great doctor" announced Leonardo sitting down next to Karai.

"One great _un_ - _qualified_ doctor" added Raphael "So..." He sat down in the other chair and looked from the two of them to me "Who's going to phone April?"

"Me obviously. But I'm not gonna phone her and just blurt it out - I'm gonna phone her and have her come over, so we can talk properly"

"But what about expectation? Will it mean she'll expect Robyn to be here?"

Leonardo put one hand on Karai's leg and the other on his own "No bro, of course I'll tell her she's not here but I just don't think a phone call to deliver this type of news is appropriate. Least then we can support her and explain properly if she's actually in the room"

Raphael huffed and got up "Explain what? How we failed?"

"We didn't fail. It was a tough situation. If we'd have unplugged her she could have died - that isn't exactly success is it? It wasn't a risk I was prepared to take - not with her and certainly not with any of you"

Stomping off to the kitchen Raphael slammed his fist into cupboard. I crept in behind him. Karai was right. It was time to stop being selfish. Yes I was a zombie (sort of) but at least I was here. I stood to the side of him - deciding to put myself into view before speaking - I didn't want to risk being landed accidentally with his fist.

"You went, you tried.." I began nervously. He turned to look at me, snorted and sat himself down at the table.

"I don't do failure" he muttered "I hate it! April is gonna be so broken"

I pulled out a chair and sat down next to him "It wasn't your fault". His eyes met mine and he reached out a hand. Upon making contact with my own he pulled me forwards onto his knee and into his arms. Just having this closeness and feeling his breath on my skin I felt myself respond. Shutting my eyes I relaxed into his body and his smell, that lovely familiar smell. He pressed his mouth onto my shoulder and kissed me there and then my neck.

"I won't lose you will I?" he whispered softly

"No..no" I replied holding his hands tightly in my own "Though I may disappear in a minute - just to see Mikey - but I'll come back"

"Or..." he began raising his hands up and tilting me round to face him "I could come with you and then we can have official and proper make up time...just us?" He suggested, wriggling his brow ridge and giving me a smirk.

"Okay..for talking though" I got up and he followed.

"Of course... _just for talking"_ he replied, giving my bottom a smack and then wrapping his arms once again around my body and lifting me up a little "Thank you" he whispered "You always make me feel better"

And so, we went in to see Michelangelo, he was a little dozy due to drugs but doing okay. Thank heavens for Donatello; even if he was unqualified at least he was experienced enough to know how to perform some procedures - including the safe removal of bullets.

Leonardo spoke with April and although disappointed she understood and promised to come over later. Then it was time to discuss and prepare just _how_ to tell her? How do you tell someone that their sister is beyond help - that she's becoming something different - that she's part machine and eventually no Robyn will remain and her sister will be lost forever. Even though my dislike of Robyn was more than obvious I mellowed slightly upon hearing her state from Raphael and, of course, his guilt upset me so very much. I hated seeing him so broken and feeling like he'd let April down.

And then we went to his room and talked - I explained my insecurities and he listened and reassured. Inside I knew he loved me I guess it was like I'd said to Karai; I just found it hard to grasp that someone as beautiful as him would want plain old pudgy me.

As we lay together arms intertwined I felt happy but still there was something that I wanted to know and so I asked:

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

"Hey...why you asking me that?" He pulled me closer and kissed my head.

"Because I want to know"

"Okay...well, how about you go first"

I smiled to myself "Three" I answered simply "And that includes you. Brian was first, he was a lot older but he was fun y'know...nice to be with and then there was Dave; we had a bit of a whirlwind thing and now you.."

"Brian and Dave? Jees you didn't pick them for their names did you?"

"Ha ha. Okay smart ass, now your turn" I pushed my bottom into him; trying to mold our two bodies together. Though I was still fully clothed; this moment felt so loving and so intimate.

"Okay...first girl wasn't much...I was young...kinda was like a flash in a pan"

"Was it her who you lost your virginity too?" I couldn't resist asking that.

"Yeh but we were only together a few months, worked out better as friends...and err then there was the alien girl Mona, Robyn and now you...which of course is the best one of them all"

"Alien girl?"

"Yes, I dated an alien...so?"

I giggled "And now you have a zombie.."

He kissed the back of neck "Who I love very much.."

His hands moved up to my breasts and gently caressed my skin through the fabric of my top causing my nipples to harden in response and me to catch my breath. I had thought with no blood flow that it would be impossible to have a sexual response... _apparently not._

Raphael shifted his hands to explore under her top seeking out her flesh and touching it. He kept his lips on her neck and then turned her over to place his mouth on her own.

The talking part it seemed was well and truly over. And for more reasons as yet unknown to Rosie; he was so very relieved that the conversation had ended.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty Four: The Realisation

Shadow thumped his fist down onto the desk with such a force the sound echoed throughout the room "I cannot believe your incompetence!" he shouted "Letting those freaks escape AGAIN!"

"It wasn't our fault" protested the woman "They had help your Lordship... you saw it"

"We did shoot one of them" added one of the men enthusiastically.

"One..ONE! Is that supposed to impress me?! I wanted them _all dead_ \- all of them gone - all of them out of my way!"

"Lord Shadow I.."

"Enough!" The woman stopped talking and hung her head in shame "All of you will pay by becoming part of our little experiment"

"Oh no please...please not that...anything, I'll do anything" She fell to her knees not worrying about the obvious lack of dignity associated with this move.

"Too late! In fact, YOU will be first...now, get out of my sight"

He pressed a button - two more suited men appeared and clutched the woman by the arms pulling her up and out of the room the doors closing behind and muffling her high pitched screams.

* * *

After making love for a second time I got myself dressed whilst he lounged on the bed and watched; he seemed to enjoy making me feel paranoid.

"You're beautiful" he breathed standing up and kissing me lightly on the mouth "And I could look at you for hours"

I laughed "Yes, by which time your eyes will fall out" I took a deep breath "Do I feel any different; look any different?"

"You my lovely, feel amazing and look amazing, stop worrying okay?"

"Well!" I exclaimed "What do you expect? I'm officially a zombie remember? Don't they normally rot like a corpse?"

He wrapped his large arms around me and held me tight "Not you. You're a special case" he murmured, kissing the top of my head "Now let's go see how the others are doing and I can rub it in"

I pulled away from his embrace and frowned "Rub it in?"

"Yeh, because none of them have a girlfriend as lovely as mine"

I shook my head and smacked him on the shell "Leo has Karai. And in a way she's kinda grown on me so you keep it closed and behave"

And he did. Though I did clock his smug face when we first entered the room - it was one of those 'I've just had sex' faces. He'd pay for that little dig later.

April hadn't arrived yet but according to Leo she was on her way. I didn't want to be there when they told her so I went to see Mikey who had now been moved to his room to recover.

"Hey sister, hows things?" He greeted me with a huge grin. I sat down on his bed and held the hand that he offered me.

"I should be asking _you_ that - after all, you're the one who got hurt"

"Yeh but I'm okay now thanks to D, he's super clever. I am so going to milk this patient deal for all it's worth though - at least another week of being waited on by my brothers and having complete bed rest"

I returned his smile with matching enthusiasm "Oh at least!"

"You and Raph okay?" The question came from no where.

I felt my face flush up "We're good thanks"

"I'm super glad, you two are cute together and you certainly help keep him calm"

I didn't know whether Mikey was referring to the fact that I aided his sexual frustration or what - but in the end I chose to ignore it and we instead talked about other things such as television shows, comic books and food. Mikey was keen to show me his new pizza concept, it sounded disgusting but he insisted it was a great balance of flavours and textures and that I had to try it as soon as he was up and about.

"Is April here?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Jees it is going to be so hard for her - I mean I saw Robyn, and believe you me that is not a sight I ever want to see again"

"I can imagine" I replied, shuddering. And I could. I too had seen people embedded into machinery; wires digging into their skin causing painful bruising and the with open eyes vacant and lost. I had wanted to help them but found myself unable to do so and, as a result, could relate to Raphael's feelings of guilt. The Shadow had these people trapped - trapped in a process of torture and all because he was trying to create (as he called it) something better; a higher breed of being.

It was then that I heard a scream, followed by shouting and the clear voice of April O'Neil obviously in a breakdown. It made me jump slightly and I clutched Mikey's hand a little harder.

"Sounds like she knows" began Michelangelo tentatively "That's gonna be hard dude"

I nodded and continued to focus on the wailing that was coming from the lounge. I then heard a door open and close and the noise appeared to grow quieter though it was obvious she was still in distress. I wondered what was going on? I wondered if she'd want to involve the police? I wondered what would happen next. I wondered...

"He'll take care of her. Raph is good with her like that" said the youngest wistfully.

Admittedly, I was a little confused why it would just be Raphael who was mentioned mean as I assumed it would be Leo and Karai. Him because he told her and Karai to add a woman's touch; although the image of Karai as a comforter did appear to be a little disturbing.

"They were each others first you know.." added Michelangelo "She was a bit of a cougar - he were only 16. Splinter was not happy" He giggled to himself as he remembered "And neither was I. Raph was rubbing it in for weeks afterwards.. I guess that's why they're so close now, first love and all that.."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. _April and Raphael had been lovers._ I suppose it made sense now. That was why he had so cagey when talking about his exes - because April was one of them. I felt like a fool. It was one thing to have the fling with Robyn but something entirely different to with hold information like this.

"It's over now" whispered Michelangelo obviously reacting to my disappointed expression "Heck it was over years ago so don't look upset"

"It's just he never told me" I replied in a sulky voice.

"Aww, c'mon, it's just history, everyone has that... I'm sure he would have told you at some point. Perhaps he didn't because he knows how insecure you are"

I snapped my head round; giving severe neck burn in the process "He said I was insecure? Have you guys been talking about me?" Letting go of his hand I folded my arms.

"Hey, c'mon, don't get all testy...you know Raph loves you"

I knew my bottom lip was completing it's usual descent. I also knew he was right but for some reason I felt annoyed. Agreeing not to make a big deal of it I left the youngest alone - after handing him a comic and his glass of cola and a straw.

Upon entering the lounge I noticed that Karai and Leo were sitting together quietly and that Raphael was no-where to be seen. I loitered around the chair. Leonardo looked up at me.

"Sit down" He indicated to the chair "How's Mikey?"

"He's good. I left him with his new comic book" I drew my legs up underneath me "I take it April knows"

"Yes and as you heard she's really upset...it's not good...Raph's with her in the dojo trying to calm her down - he's good with her like that"

That was the second time I'd heard that and it didn't make me feel any better. In fact I was getting to the point where I felt really not okay with this whole thing.

Yes. I was jealous. Again.

"They're quiet so that's a good thing" added Karai.

 _Was it?_ Quiet for me meant that they were up to no good. I edged towards the door of the dojo and without saying a word snook myself inside. It was at that point where my entire world literally fell to pieces around me. Raphael was holding April and they were kissing. His mouth was on hers and they were kissing. I felt numb and then the pain hit followed by the anger.

"Don't let me interrupt" I hissed. The jumped apart like they had literally been given an electric shock and for a moment the entire scene appeared to go on hold. Before they could say anything I turned on my heel and left. Raphael shook himself to life and immediately came after me.

"That wasn't what it looked like.." he began, trying to get me to halt by the moving of his arms "It..."

"What? What?! Do you think I'm an idiot? Don't expect me to believe you tripped over and landed on her face!" I screamed.

Leonardo and Karai were suddenly standing by me "Raph, what's happened?"

"He was sucking her face!" I screeched, not giving him the opportunity to worm his way out of it "Having a little history lesson of the kissy kind"

"It was an accident..." protested Raphael appealing to his brother "I, we, didn't mean for it to happen"

"You shit ass!" I punched him repeatedly and he took it every single time "You shit fucker, shit head!" Karai grabbed hold of my arms and moved me away allowing my small fists to flail in the air and then flop down in defeat.

"I suggest you go to your room" scolded Leonardo "No excuses Raph, no excuses"

"You ain't my dad Fearless so just shut it, it just happened...it just happened..."

Karai led me to the kitchen, sat me down and got me a glass of water. If I hadn't been so hurt and upset, I might have almost been impressed with the way she was taking care of me. April remained in the dojo; good job too, I think I'd have smacked her if she'd have come out at that point.

I took a breath and drank my water. _That was it, that was the cue. It was over.  
_

"I need to talk to her Leo" Raphael was pacing in his room; the realisation of the situation was finally hitting him.

"I just don't get it bro, why would you do that? you know how insecure Rosie is and you kiss April!" Leonardo positioned himself by the door in a bid to stop his brother from making a bid for freedom.

"I know!... but honestly it just happened, she was upset...one moment we were hugging and talking and then... I don't know, I just don't know" He rubbed his head.

Karai checked on April and then went back to the kitchen and found it empty with an empty glass in the middle of the table. She shot round to look at the hanging pegs; the bag previously packed by Rosie had gone as had her jacket and pumps.

"Darn girl.." she whispered.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty Five: 'On the quest' Part One

"What do you mean she's gone?" Raphael pushed past his brother to confront Karai, who, unlike most did not find his anger intimidating and as usual stood her ground.

"It isn't my fault Raphael - I wasn't the one caught with my tongue shoved down another girl's throat! You hurt her..again. She did what she always does, what she always has done. She runs"

"'Cos you know her so well.." replied Raphael sarcastically

"Better than you" snapped Karai, stepping closer and glaring at him. Leonardo put himself between them.

"Children children" he began calmly holding up his arms "Fighting isn't going to solve anything"

"Really, knocking her out would sure make me feel better" growled Raphael

"Bring it on!" Karai jostled forwards again so Leonardo took hold of her arms and instructed her to see to April. Once she was gone Raphael started grabbing for his bandings and weaponry.

"Speeding out there won't help either brother, we gotta think about this one, please just trust me"

"What's there to think about? Rosie's out there, somewhere, and she's thinking ill of me, I can't have that bro, I just can't. April and I, you know that it's nothing, tell me you know that"

Leonardo reached forwards and put a hand on his brother's arm "I know. I do. But I also know we need a plan. We can't just race around the City in a panic. We gotta speak to Donnie"

"Why? What's he gonna do?"

"He studied the map remember. And I bet you anything that that is where Rosie has gone."

"She wouldn't" answered Raphael "Would she?"

In Donatello's lab the purple banded turtle happened to agree with his elder brother. He too could quite see Rosie going off on her own to look for the Source. Raphael on the other hand couldn't quite believe it. Rosie always seemed so reliant on others, so needful of support and reassurance. He could see her going off into the sewer tunnels but going off on a mission? It seemed too far beyond comprehension. So, as well as taking April home, they searched the surrounding tunnels and once April was settled and in contact with a friend they searched some more. But there was no sign of Rosie.

Raphael was now the one who felt hopeless. He had so underestimated her. Though, her little stint at TCRI should have shown him she was a lot tougher than he had originally thought. Maybe, just maybe it was him who wanted to keep her the small vulnerable female that needed rescuing - maybe that was his misunderstanding. What he did know is that he wanted to find her, and fast. But Leonardo insisted they gather back at the lair and make a plan. Raphael was reluctant, he was furious even but eventually he gave in. On this occasion he could see that Leo was right. They needed a plan. But how could they have one without a map?

"Look I'm sorry okay...I just didn't think"

"Donnie, you're the smart one, you're supposed to do just that!" snapped Raphael angrily

"Well how was I supposed to know it would disappear?!"

"Besides dude, we had Rosie, she was the walking map remember? You should have been up front with her" It was Michelangelo who spoke up and Raphael wasn't in the mood for any smart mouth.

"Shut it Mikey, you know nothing"

"Hey, I know ladies like honesty - you should have told her about you and April from day one, given her chance to get used to it, but that doesn't excuse your smoochy incident though, that was bad form brother even for you"

The room fell silent only for that silence to be broken by the deep growl of Raphael as he lunged forwards and grabbed his brother round the neck "You! I swear to god Mikey I am going to brain you!"

Michelangelo took several deep gulps of air as Leonardo untangled the pair "Calm down!" he scolded "This is no time for fighting! It isn't Mikey's fault"

"Oh I think it is, he just couldn't resist stirring it up could you little brother? Always been so jealous" Raphael looked like he was going to go for Michelangelo a second time so Leonardo and Karai took him out of the room.

"I think he's mad" whispered the youngest to Donatello who checked over his brother and made sure the stitches were still in place.

"Well, you know what he's like... I think he blames himself but you just happened to be an easy target. Do you need any more pain relief?"

"Nah. I feel whoozy enough bro. But I did think about that map and I took a few photos if that'll help. I liked it. So when she first drew it I thought I'd take some snaps and stuff - they're on my T-phone"

Donatello hated to say it but sometimes Michelangelo really was the clever one of the family "On your T-phone? Where is it?"

"Err, over there, I think...by that left over pizza"

Moving the several empty pizza boxes, cans and half eaten creations that Donatello couldn't identify he managed to locate the phone and get stuck to it's cheesy coating "Mikey your room is gross - you ever thought you might just attract rats in here being so messy" He wiped the phone and scanned through it.

"I like it like this...it's homely, and yes there are rats and they're my friends"

Donatello shook his head and sat down on the bed.

"Bingo.." he announced as he pulled up the photographs of the map "You little brother are a genius"

"I know, it's what I've told you for years!" replied Michelangelo simply giving him a grin.

* * *

I knew this was the right place. I didn't know how I knew but I just did.

I didn't know how I'd gotten here but I just had.

There were tiny flashes of pictures in my mind but none of them made any sense. All that I could understand was this was something I had to do. I was tired of playing games, of waiting around and of losing what little sanity I had left. I had to go forwards and take control. I had to show everyone that I was somebody, that I could do something and do something right for a change.

Super-hero speak wasn't really me but I was trying my hardest.

The place was dark, damp and empty; illuminated only by my single torch beam and in that soft light the tunnel appeared to go on for miles. On instinct I took out the device and placed it on the ground. In doing so it came to life and my torch went out. Great.

 _"You have made it this far then perhaps you are willing to go a little further"_ The image of the man was slightly less luminous than it had been; I still couldn't bring myself to think of him as my father _"This tunnel will take you directly to the Source but getting there will be no easy task, you have to be strong and you have to trust the change, think of it as a means to an end. Good luck my child. And remember, I love you"_

 _Seriously?_

I just felt nothing; I mean how could someone who loved me just leave me? let alone have me go through all this?

Alone once more I picked up the device. I wondered what he meant about the change. _What change?_

A low rumbling sound from beyond made me suddenly feel afraid. The torch had once more lit up so I snatched it into my grasp and shone it down the tunnel. The rumbling was getting louder. _What the heck was it?_

Then I kinda wished I hadn't asked for a wall of water much taller than me swept around the tunnel and straight in my direction. I had little chance to react as it hit me knocking me off balance and pushing me along. I tried to keep my mouth shut but the shock forced me to gulp and gasp which allowed water straight inside. I panicked; kicking and flailing what I thought were my legs trying desperately to keep myself above the water but it won and pulled me under.

Below the water instead of feeling afraid I suddenly felt strangely calm but my mind was full of questions: _Was this part of the plan? Was I supposed to drown like this? Was this another give up to gain?_

Yes I was underwater. But I could breathe. Somehow I could breathe. And I could swim.

As my eyes focused I could see a light far below me and somehow I knew I had to get there, that somehow it was the right way. Must be the map again. Moving my legs I made my way towards it.

* * *

"So you _think_ you know where we should go?" announced Raphael as he collected his stuff "And that Donnie is good enough for me"

"How come you didn't know before?" asked Karai "Well, we're all thinking it!" She looked directly at Leonardo at this point as if appealing for back up.

"Because I was thinking laterally before. This map isn't made that way. It's subterranean, meaning underground"

Karai rolled her eyes "I know the meaning of the word Donnie, I'm not stupid like some folk round here" and with that she looked at Raphael who in turn grunted and pulled out a sai. Leonardo held up his hands and stepped in between them.

"Knock it off you two. This is important so let's just leave the squabbles at the door. Raph, you want to find Rosie right?"

"Of course, I thought we all did.." He glared at Karai

"We do. But to do so we have to work together. We're gonna be a man down so Karai is our Mikey replacement"

Raphael snorted "Figures"

Karai went to punch him but Leonardo intervened "Stop it! You're like kids. We have to do this for Rosie, as a team" He took a breath and held out a hand "So, we all in?"

Raphael stepped up and slammed his hand over his brothers "Let's do this...for Rosie"

Pausing slightly Karai then slowly followed Donatello into the group and put her hand on the very top.

"Now we've just gotta tell Mikey that he's staying behind..." announced Leonardo.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: 'On the Quest' Part Two

Shadow knew that Rosie was in the tunnels. She had started on the quest to find the Source and as she was out of his control all he could do was wait for her to return. Once she was out of there and back on the surface _then_ he would have his chance to seize both her and the item he so desired.

As she was not under his influence as he had wanted he could only hope that she would survive down there. The Shadow Dwellers could not enter the tunnels just as he could not, but,Shadow knew that there were other things which lurked and waited in the darkness of the tunnels to put the challenger to the test - to intimidate; for really that was all the Shadow Dwellers were good for; the darn things couldn't even tell him where she was even though they had paid her numerous visits.

All he could do now was wait, put his faith in her lineage; her parentage and pray that she would succeed as he knew she could for she was the true daughter of the 'Leader of Light Givers'; and she should have the strength to succeed.

* * *

I felt like I'd been swimming for ages, yet I had no urge to go up to the surface and gulp air. The light that I had spotted did not appear to be getting any closer. _Was this a trap? Had I put myself in danger and not realised?_

 _Got a grip girl._ I mentally scolded myself and willed myself to calm down. I **had** to do this.

There was no turning back now. I had to be strong.

It was at this point where I realised the light was reflected. It was bouncing off something from the other side and reflecting back. Now it made sense - the tunnel from this depth had become a mirrored surface so the light was actually closer than first thought. _But what the heck was that?_ Something else was also in the reflection and looking back at me. It appeared to have a tail - a huge fish tail.

 _Jesus._ I backed away nervously and it did the same thing too.

It was then that I glanced down at where I assumed my legs would be and saw that there was a huge fish tail there instead. Suddenly I felt sick. I put a hand over my mouth.

 _The change._

He had said the change was necessary. _A means to an end._

Oh. My. God.

* * *

"Are you sure you know where you're going D?" With each step further down under the ground Raphael was feeling less and less like he trusted his brother and his sense of 'direction'.

Donatello however, remained undeterred and had his electronic compass out in front of him, into which he had entered estimated co-ordinates based in the maps directive. Mikey had been happy for them to take his T-Phone because he had been left with Donnie's more 'fancy' phone which had better tunes and games on. He had also been left with snacks and drinks so was more than willing to hold the fort whilst the others went out.

"You do realise.." announced Donatello "That my phone will be lucky to survive an encounter with Mikey and that his room will be even more trashed once we get back! Do you know he has rats in there? Rats!"

"So.." scoffed Raphael "Think of it as Splinter's extended family, and if we're lucky they may eat Mikey whilst we're out"

Leonardo shot him a look of disapproval.

Karai was out in front next to Donatello and the other two behind when suddenly the leading pair stopped dead leaving Raphael to bump into his brother and knock him and the compass into the huge pool of water that had appeared right in front of them.

"Raph! You've just wrecked the compass you great oaf!" screeched Donatello

"Hey!" growled Raphael "If you and Mrs Leo here hadn't stopped so suddenly I wouldn't have done it would I?"

Leonardo helped his brother up but the compass had disappeared. Donatello shook himself off.

"Great! Well, now we're stumped" he whined

"Not necessarily - we still have the map don't we? And when we find Rosie we'll have her"

"I like your enthusiasm bro but unless you haven't noticed there happens to be a big shit pile of water here blocking our path and no sign of Rosie so unless she's become a fish I doubt we're gonna find her this way are we?" shouted Raphael throwing up his hands.

"Look, let's calm down and think rationally. Donnie do you remember anything about water on the map?"

Leonardo appealed to his brother who already had the phone in his grasp and was scrolling through Michelangelo's photographs "You know what, Mikey has quite an artistic eye..." mused Donatello as he carried on scrolling.

"I ain't bothered about Mikey's artistic prowess you idiot - we just need to find a different way!" Raphael snatched the phone and ignoring Donatello's protests he found the beginning of the map and thrust it at him "Mmm, now let me see, these 'wavy lines' here - wouldn't they be indicative of water per chance?!" He thrust the phone towards Leonardo so he could also see "He's the brainy one? Seriously. I think we need a re-count"

"I didn't know those were wavy lines!" shrieked Donatello "I thought they were magnetic field indicators...It's a difference of opinion!"

"Look, let's examine the facts, if we are going the right way and this water is supposed to be here wouldn't it make sense to swim under a little and check things out?" Leonardo waited for a smart come-back; it didn't arrive and it was almost like peace was restored. He hoped that his father would be proud of the way he could re-unite the team.

"Stop looking so smug Fearless it's annoying" hissed Raphael, poking him out of his trance with a large finger.

"So we'll go and you and Karai stay here? How is that fair?" asked Donatello "Why don't YOU go with Raphael and I'll stay with Karai"

Leonardo shrugged his shoulders "Fine by me. If we're not back in 30 minutes you come out to us"

Karai put her hands on her hips "And, err, what about me?"

"Sorry, but being a Mikey replacement doesn't mean you have his ability to swim underwater without the need for breath" Leonardo gently touched her arm "But hopefully we'll be back so it'll be fine"

She kissed him on the mouth and then watched as he jumped into the water and dived out of sight. She then turned to Donatello: "Will they be okay?"

"Well, a turtle can hold it's breath for up to 2 hours under water so I'm sure they will be fine. If you want, we can study the map some more whilst they're gone"

"Great.." answered Karai sarcastically. She looked into the water and shone her torch beam into it's depths "Do you think this has always been here? This tunnel, it's on a slant so it could be possible that this water came in from else where"

"Like a booby trap?" Donatello giggled to himself; Karai wasn't sure whether this was at the word 'booby' or the mere suggestion that this tunnel had once been dry.

Underwater, both Leonardo and Raphael spotted the light source which had intrigued Rosie some time ago and they too followed it. The light came up, out and under an archway to a place which was actually dry. Raphael hauled himself out and then gave Leo a hand. He checked his watch - they'd been 10 minutes so far.

"So that gives 10 minutes for exploring and 10 minutes to get back" said Leonardo formally

"Yeh, yeh...quit bossing already!" boomed Raphael "Rosie! Rosie, you here!"

His voice echoed all around, repeating itself over and over into the walls.

"Don't shout you imbecile, you don't know what else you may attract"

"Like what? Some sort of killer squid? Leo I really thought that getting laid would lighten you up and besides how else am I supposed to draw attention here if I don't shout!?"

"Okay..." replied the eldest "But not too loud.."

"ROSIE!" shouted Raphael in an extra loud voice; _he just lived to irritate his brother._

"Raph! Cut it out!"

Leonardo looked behind the rocks one end; whilst Raphael looked at the other end. Splitting up allowed them to cover more ground.

"How come this cave is lit up Leo? It's strange, almost like someone has been expected"

"Or already been here.." suggested Leonardo "But I agree, it's strange"

Back at the water's edge the thirty minutes set down was almost up when Leonardo and Raphael re-appeared. Karai was so relieved; she had felt at serious risk of being bored to death by Donatello, who in their absence, had insisted that they look at the map together and interpret the signs.

"So...what did you find?" she asked excitedly "Anything?"

"A cave..an empty cave with no obvious way in or out and with nothing in it but a few torch lights" Raphael shook off the excess water "And no Rosie..." he added sadly

"I'm over here" Her voice was so beautifully melodic as it rolled out around them, but they couldn't make out where she was "What are you doing down here?"

"To find you! And to beg your forgiveness.." Raphael got down on his knees, he didn't care if he looked stupid "I'm a jerk but it meant nothing - you have to believe me sweetheart it meant _nothing_ , nothing, nill, nada... I'm begging you please..."

There was silence.

Leonardo and Karai swept their torch lights over the water.

"What the fuck is this?" whispered Raphael; anxiously looking from his brothers to the water and back again.

"This is me having a little more of an issue than just you..." Rosie's head popped up from the water "So if you don't mind I'd rather put any other item aside"

"What the...how are you in there? _How?_ " Raphael couldn't help but tentatively reach forwards; he wanted to touch her "Have you found another way?"

"Lets just say my body did.." She flipped her tail above the water line and showed her webbed hands.

"Wow..." breathed Donatello "What the?" He joined Raphael on the floor "You changed species! How is this even possible? This is amazing!"

Rosie looked at him "Unlike you I am not overly excited but let's just say I'm adjusting to my new situation..like I have a choice"

Raphael was still leaning forwards, he was desperate to gather her up in his arms and hold her but something about her demeanor told him not to go there at this time.

"So Donnie awe aside what have you found so far? We'd like to help" said Leonardo seriously.

Rosie eyed him with caution "Really?"

"Yes. That's why we're here..."

She took a breath "Okay. Well from what I can gather this place is like a maze - it has tunnels off onto caves and other dead ends just like a maze does but it also has a way through...and I've found it."

"That's incredible; your new state of being is allowing you to find the correct way through - it's amazing! This means that no ordinary being could scale this place...wow, just wow!"

Leonardo touched Donatello on the arm and pulled him up "How far through is it? I mean is it all underwater all the way - could Karai come some how?"

"It's about a ten minute swim straight ahead and to the right - the passageway then comes out into an opening - it's narrow but it's dry and there's land...I assume it goes through from there - well, that's what it looks like"

"So unless I grow fins and gills there is no way I can come with you is there?" said Karai glancing at Leonardo

"No... _sorry_..." answered Rosie.

Leonardo looked at Raphael who was still on his knees and Donatello who was still open-mouthed; standing up but still open-mouthed nevertheless.

"It's a shame as between all of you I know who would have been the most 'with it' in this situation"

Karai smiled and stepped forwards to give him a hug "Don't worry hero, I'll be here when you get back" she murmured "And then we can celebrate just the two of us"

Leonardo felt himself blushing. She knew just how to push his buttons and it was always in a way that he liked. _God he loved her._

"I still can't believe..." Donatello's mouth was gaping as Leonardo let Karai go.

"You go back to the lair, we'll meet there, I don't want you here alone. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine, don't you worry...go...do your thing" She kissed him again "and...Good luck" she added, smirking.

 _I think I'm in need of it_ , thought Leo to himself. With one brother crazy in shock and another crazy in love he hoped Rosie had her head on straight - the smile she sent to him showed him that she had.

"Ready?" she asked

Leonardo nodded firmly "Ready".


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-Seven: 'On the Quest' - The final run

They all arrived safely at the first cavern which Rosie had talked about. It wasn't the easiest of places to negotiate but for three aquatic turtles and Rosie's newly adapted body it was achievable. Donatello still couldn't help but gawk at her and watch her new tail as she swam, so much so that Raphael happened to clock this and slap his brother once they were on dry land. Leonardo then chastised them both for misbehaving.

"If you thought that was cool then wait till you see this part" Now on land the fish tail disappeared and her legs reappeared so she pulled herself forwards and got up. Donatello's jaw hit the floor. Raphael was once again not impressed by his brother's staring which wasn't helped by the fact that Rosie, who as a result of the change, now no longer had trousers. Instinctively he wanted to cover her up, to keep her legs out of view of the others but he knew that if he offered her anything she would point blank refuse just to be stubborn. So, instead he opted to make sure that it was he who was behind her as they made their way forwards.

"Do we know how far we have to go?" asked Raphael as he enjoyed the view in front of him.

"No" replied Donatello "This map acts as a guide but like Rosie says there are dead ends and other ways to confuse us but..."

"I was actually asking Rosie not you" interrupted Raphael crossly "So would you quit with the talking already!"

Rosie carried on walking "It's far enough" she replied simply "You can always go back if you're bored.. _or tired_ "

"Hey!" he protested doing a few arm exercises "I am not tired, I have countless energy reserves and I'm not bored either...I just hoped there would be some villains to pound that's all"

Some time later, as if in answer to his plea for an encounter with bad guys a strange scuttling sound came through from the next entrance way. Rosie stopped and looked back at him: "Well something's in there so perhaps you'll get your wish.."

"Great!" growled Raphael stepping past her and into the gloom of the next cavern "I'm so on this!"

"Uh-oh" whispered Donatello

"What's uh-oh? Why are you saying uh-oh D?" Leonardo was giving his brother a questionable look. Donatello showed him the map and a small six-legged symbol: "Is that what I think it is?"

Raphael's girly scream was so loud that Leonardo was sure it would probably be audible on the surface. Rosie was trying to stifle a giggle because she knew _exactly_ what was in there and she knew it was the only thing that big buff Raphael was afraid of. Donatello and Leonardo rushed inside, shining their torches to witness a dark mass which shifted speedily away from the beam of light. Raphael was crouched in the center of the room head in his hands and visibly shaking. He tried to hide his fear by coughing and pumping himself up to look bigger.

"I..err...thanks fellas...cockroaches...you know how I hate them"

Donatello was just about to speak when the room lit up brightly - causing the remaining bugs to scatter and seek out the darkness. Rosie joined them, a slight smile playing on her lips.

"They hate light" she announced "Luckily I have plenty. Shall we go?"

Walking across the room it was Raphael who now couldn't help but gawk and stare at her as she went. Her entire body was illuminated like a beacon. The brightness felt warm like the sun; it made him think about basking.

"Snap out of it brother, the roaches will come back in the darkness" Donatello's voice knocked him out of his trance and he quickly rushed off after them.

I was right. This place was a maze. In a way I was kind of glad that they had come along too. I knew that I should have to ability to make it through this but all the same it was just nice to have company. And truth be told I had missed Raphael. Every now and again I would catch sight of his pouty face staring at me and it made me love him even more. Don't get me wrong oh I was still angry at him alright but I liked to think that there would definitely be potential for some sort of talking. _If we ever got out of here alive._

Once again I scolded myself - this was no time for self doubt.

 _'You have to believe, Rosie. You have to believe you can do this'._

The quest was turning into something that resembled an adventure that the heroic 'Indiana Jones' would enjoy. Each time we reached a different area of this place there was, more often than not, something different waiting for us there. Luckily for Raphael there were no more bugs but there were spiked metal rods which I managed to wipe out before they could make impact; impressing myself in the process.

In another cavern we came across a swamp. It was bizarre but by now I'd learnt to expect the unexpected. On the surface it looked easy enough to get across by balancing on the rocks but unfortunately there was more than just mud under the surface of this particular swamp and several large snakes rose up hissing and spitting. It seemed that they were especially keen on Donatello.

"Why me!?" he shrieked once we had got through to the other side "I'm the slimmest! If they wanted a good meal surely they'd go for Raph!"

"Perhaps" began Raphael chuckling to himself "They thought you were a little girly snake and wanted you as a mate"

"You won't be laughing if there's more cockroaches through there will you?" Donatello gave Leonardo a sly smirk "RAPH LOOK OUT! Cockroaches!"

Raphael jumped about four feet in the air and launched himself at Leonardo "What? Where..? _Where are they!?_ "

He then noticed Donatello bending over and laughing "You sick fuck" he snarled "You are so gonna pay for that!"

"Shall we go..? I think I know what's next."

And for some reason I did. The further into the maze we went I found myself making more than accurate predictions as to what was next for us. Lucky really because there seemed to be a larger selection of tests than I'd anticipated. And doubly lucky was that I happened to be travelling with two Ninjas and a very angry Raphael who was more than happy to give each thing a good pounding. He was made all the more annoyed by Donatello's frequent teasing about bugs.

Suddenly I held up a hand and stopped the group "I think this is it" I whispered "In there..."

"Not you too; there are NO COCKROACHES! so stop playing me okay.." Once Raphael had finished his tantrum I looked at all of them and took a breath.

"The Source" I murmured. Donatello was studying the map with interest.

"Do you know _what_ this Source is?" asked Leonardo "I realised that we never actually spoke about it; it would just be good to know exactly what we are expecting?"

"You'll see when we get it" I answered, entering the darkness with the others following behind.

Once inside an amazing thing took place and what looked like daylight, soft beautiful daylight filled the room and once again the light felt warm and comforting on their skin. In the middle of the space was what appeared to be a Chest of some sort.

We all stood over the item and I reached forwards.

"Do you think it'll be booby trapped?" Donatello was looking slightly uneasy.

"Nah!" answered Raphael "You've watched too many movies D"

As I went to touch it something clicked and the lid opened - what we found ourselves staring at was more of a shock to them than me. I had known that the Source would be a liquid. A liquid which was capable of changing one being to another. Of altering the state of one life form to another higher state of self.

"It looks like mutagen..." breathed Donatello taking a closer look

"Mutagen? You mean the stuff that made us what we are? That's the Source? That's what this Shadow dude is after!?" Raphael re-sheathed his sais as I picked up the prize.

"Maybe there's more to this... _I don't know_..." Admittedly I felt a little confused but I didn't want to show it. Mutagen? Would it really be just mutagen?

"Question" Donatello held up a finger "You know how you said that Shadow could not enter this system?"

I nodded numbly.

"Well, why is it that you're taking it out? Surely it's more at risk being up there where he can get it than it is to leave it down here where it's safe?"

"That's a good point...Donnie has a good point" said Raphael as he patted his brother on the shoulder causing him to jolt forwards"So... why is it we're taking it out?"

"We're not. _I_ am. And if I don't take it that's the end for me" I rushed with the last part and went towards what I knew to be the exit. I could feel their eyes on me and their brains running over what I had just said. Raphael was the first to speak:

"Hold on a sec!...let's rewind...what did you just say?"

Suddenly they were all surrounding me, questionable looks on their faces.

"Not my rules, not my choice. Hey, this is what you get for being a Light-giver's daughter...apparently it's all laid out and I have no say whatsoever" I knew my voice was becoming wobbly so I wanted to end this conversation before I ended up in floods of tears.

I could hear worried mutterings coming from behind me and as I exited the cavern Raphael appeared at my side and began to walk in step.

"I don't understand..." he began nervously. I stopped and faced him, hands on my hips.

"What's there to understand? If I don't take this out it's curtains for me. Simple." I started walking again.

"But why? and why didn't you..."

"Tell you? Why do you think? Look Raphael don't make this a big deal okay. It is what it is. I was chosen for this so that's just how it is. I have to do it, end of okay"

"Hey guys I hate to ask but are we going the right way?" Donatello's high pitched tones came floating up from behind us and I was beginning to lose it.

"Yes, we are going the right way. Any other questions, points, exclamations?" I asked.

They all remained quiet and looked at me. "Good. Because if it's alright with you I'd like to get out of here"

I knew I was being stroppy but all I wanted was to get out of here so I could breathe. Breathe and remind myself that I was alive. _Well, half alive anyway._


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-Eight: Home again

 _You can't lose hope_. That's what my father always used to say to me; my true father that is, not the one who popped up out of no-where and liked being a hollogram.

 _No matter how bad things look you have to try to keep faith and believe that it will all turn out well in the end._

Then he got sick, really sick and we lost him. That was when I gave up hope.

Strangely enough though I felt like he was with me as we emerged back up along the tunnels and traveled on towards the lair. Leonardo thought it was better to stay underground in spite of Raphael's protests and his need to see that we were back in the land of normality which included passing a pizza place. I, on the other hand, was happy to follow Leonardo's direction and stay underground. I was cold and tired so I just wanted to get changed and sit down for a while.

Karai was so overjoyed to see Leonardo. She actually raced up to him and threw her arms and legs around his body attaching herself like a limpet and planting kisses on his face. And then she remembered where she was and the fact that she had an audience and quickly let him go.

They were happy for me to take to the shower first and I was glad that I could stay in spite of my drive to exit earlier it was nice to have somewhere to relax. As I stepped into the flow of warm water I hoped that my tail wouldn't reappear and I would end up on the floor. Luckily it didn't and I could remain upright whilst I washed. Stepping out I got dried and then checked my skin. It was pale, almost clammy, but at least it was still attached to me. I slipped on some clothes and after running fingers through my hair in order to comb it I stood still and looked at myself in the reflection.

I looked older. Almost as if I had aged ten years over these past few days.

I think it was the worry of what was to come and the distress over what had been. I didn't know whether I was coming or going and had lost all of what was my previous life and my sanity along with it. I stuck my tongue out at myself and then left the bathroom. Michelangelo was still hauled up in his room but Leo and Raph had gone to see him for I could hear their voices, which meant that Donatello was probably in the lab. He had been so keen to examine the Source that he practically drooled over it once we were back. So I let him have it but with strict instructions not to waste a drop. He readily agreed. I knew he'd be careful but I just liked to cover myself.

Sitting myself down in the lounge I closed my eyes and took a breath.

"You meditating?" Raphael's deep voice interrupted my thoughts as he plonked down opposite me and gave me a smile "You okay? Wanna talk?"

I drew my legs up to my chest and then crossed them at the ankle "No, I'm okay...thanks"

He leaned forwards "Can I come sit with you? I'd like to say something but I'd prefer to be over there when I do"

"Sure" I scooted myself further over to give him room to sit down.

"I'm so proud of you. I can't believe how wrong I was... the way you dealt with all that crap I was like 'wow'...I mean, you were...awesome..." He had a slight blush to his cheeks which I found so adorable.

"You thought I was awesome?"

"Yeh, amazingly awesome..." He coughed nervously "And I'm a jerk...and I know you're probably still mad but I hope that someday...you know, at some point...maybe you'd forgive me?"

I fixed his eyes with my own "I get it" I began "I understand why it happened..."

He collected my hands in his own much larger ones and held them tightly "It meant nothing. We've been over for years - hey it didn't even work that well in the first place - I'm much happier with you"

I felt myself smiling at his words.

"I love you. I love every bit of you from your out of control hair right down to your tiny little feet...and... and I will spend the _next year_ grovelling if that's what it takes" He kissed my hands and then looked at me expectantly. I don't know what he had thought was going to happen but I don't think it was me leaning forwards and planting a kiss on his mouth. When I pulled away he looked genuinely shocked.

"I understand" Tears pricked my eyes as I moved myself around "She was upset. Things happen. You have a past...I get it; we all have a past"

I felt him move closer his left hand lifted up to touch my face; his fingers tangling through my hair "I was still a jerk...I'm sorry I hurt you"

A tear fell down my face "Just don't do it again" I whispered

"Never" He pulled me towards him and I sank my head into his broad shoulder inhaling his musky masculine scent. He kissed the top of my head "You're everything to me...though..."

I sat myself up "What?"

"I do have to share you with Mikey...he is desperate to see you so unless you want to get mugged later I would go and see him now and rescue Leo in the process"

Smiling I put my legs down and went to get up but he pulled me back and kissed me feverishly taking my head in his hands and rendering me silent and submissive as his tongue toyed with my own. Once again I felt my arousal sky rocket and as he set my loose he gave a little chuckle - the devil in him knew what reactions he could induce from my body and he loved it.

I felt hot and flustered as I went into Michelangelo's room and he was onto it straight away.

"Weh-hey...unless you've just been for a run I would say you and Raph have sorted it all out? Am I right Miss Pinky perks eh?"

His comment made me uncomfortable. I adored Mikey but sometimes he really loved to wind me up. I smiled at him but made no reply. Karai and Leo left me to it; Leo squeezing my arm as they left. I took up a seated position on the bed.

"So...spill...I want to know everything! All the action from start to finish - I've been told you're a ninja girl in the making!"

I giggled and then proceeded to correct that assumption with the reality: I was certainly no ninja girl; weird mutant freak maybe but not a trained fighter by any means.

"Hey that's top ride though girl, 'cos that makes you more like my sister than ever" And with that he dragged me into a bear hug.

"Watch your stitches" I squealed.

"Hey don't mind them...we turtles heal fast so they're pretty much ready to pack up and leave!"

Eventually he let me go and I re-counted our adventures through the tunnels and caverns. Michelangelo held on to every word and was with me at every turn.

"So it really is mutagen?" he asked

"It's certainly part of it's make up, well, according to Donnie; he's analyzing it as we speak"

"Oh he'll love that! He loves examining secret chemicals. I bet he misses me though - normally I help him with his investigations"

Inwardly I came to the conclusion that Donatello would be more than glad his younger brother was out of the way; Mikey did have the tendency to break things and upset the balance in the lab which led to Donatello screeching at him to get out.

I felt tired. My first reaction after leaving Michelangelo was to head back to the lounge. I didn't want to assume anything; even though we had made up I was unsure that I could be confident Raphael would want me to kip with him. I needn't have been - he was the first to announce that he was tired and then gave me a wink and a shoulder squeeze as he went off to bed. I awkwardly followed but his arms were around me as soon as we closed the door and his mouth quickly found mine. Clothes were instantly discarded and though I was still a little embarrassed of my nakedness he put me at ease by telling me how gorgeous I was, and with his large hands caressing my breasts and thighs he encouraged me to part my legs and relax. A trail of kisses swept down my body, eventually ending up on my nether regions as he kissed and licked me there. I didn't last too long with that little move and he soon had me in a frenzy as I grasped at his shoulders and pushed my groin further into him resulting in a powerful climax that left me weak and short of breath.

As he moved back up the bed to lie beside me he was smirking to himself.

"Like that did you?" he teased.

"You know I did" His mouth tasted of my juices but I didn't care I wanted to kiss him, to touch him; I wanted him inside me and he was more than happy to oblige, slipping his long hard length into my very depths as we moved together thrusting and grinding on each other, causing me to bite my lip and moan. _It felt so good._ I didn't want it to end but end it did with another powerful orgasm and him clutching me strongly, groaning as he came.

"How do you do that?" I asked breathlessly as we lay together afterwards; his large arms wrapped around me.

"Well..." he began "It's all about finding the right spot and then you just keep on..."

I lightly smacked his arm and giggled "I didn't mean that as well you know..."

"Oh sorry..I thought you were talking orgasms" he replied simply

"No. I was talking how you make me feel so out of control but yet so safe"

"That is an orgasm"

"Shut up you" I laughed "Be serious"

"I am!" he protested.

We were silent for a while until I felt the need to break it: "Do you think we'll be okay?"

He took a breath "Splinter always used to tell us not to worry about the future and not to go over the past - be all about the moment you're in - the now. And I've always tried to live by that and I think that's what we should do. As us I think we'll be fine but whether Shadow will give up that I seriously doubt - so will there be more challenges? Yep. I'm sure. But as long as we're together babe we can take on anything"

I really hoped he was right.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Testing times

I slept relatively well for the most part though sometimes I woke and I wondered where I was, but then I'd feel Raphael's strong arms around my body and it reminded me that I was here and I was safe. The third time that I woke up I found myself all alone. At first I thought I was dreaming but then as I saw that the door was slightly ajar I could hear voices radiating off from the lounge. From the tone of those voices - one of which was clearly April - something was kicking off and kicking off big time. I jumped out of bed - took off my nightshirt and hurried to get dressed.

Rather than race in there like a mad-woman, I thought to myself, I would hang back for a while and get up to speed with the nature of the conversation. I didn't want them to stop whatever it was that they were discussing as I joined the group. That happened to me a lot in my younger years and it always made me believe that they were talking about me. Yes I was a little paranoid.

So as I took up position in the hall I could hear April; she sounded irritated: "I know that Raph - I know what you're all saying and I am not going into this as a rescue mission but the cops won't take me seriously without evidence. TCRI is in the Mayors back-pocket you know that so I need intell. Photographs, documentation, anything"

"So you think that even if you get in undetected a few photographs will make the difference.." said Raphael in a similar irritated tone "You're putting yourself at risk of ending up just like your sister"

"I know! But you know what Raphael I don't frigging care anymore! I'm sick of this corporation getting away with so much" I heard her voice tremble "I want justice - is that so wrong? And, I'm sorry, but I thought my friends would like to help me" She let out a sob.

"April, it's not that we don't want to help you but you know what happened last time; if it hadn't been for Rosie and her little distraction we would have been toast!"

"So I'm on my own?" She sounded upset and also more than a little desperate. I thought now would be a good time to make an entrance. As soon as I set foot into the lounge I could feel the tension; it was like a solid entity and it sat mainly between Raphael and April. The aforementioned female was sitting on the sofa; her head in her hands, Leonardo was hovering about whilst Raph being Raph was pacing the room.

"No you're not on your own" he protested "But Leo's right, we would have been gonners without this young lady here"

April looked up at me "Hey Rosie" she began "I..hope I didn't wake you" She looked highly uncomfortable which pleased me. Well, even though I'd forgiven Raphael I still wanted her to squirm.

"Hey babe" Raphael hugged me and planted a kiss on my mouth. Reassurance. That's what he was giving me. Reassurance. And I loved him for that.

"You're thinking of having another TCRI trip?" I looked at her and waited for a response. She didn't issue one and instead got up and sniffed, pulling a tissue from her pocket. She looked very 'put out'. I glanced at Leonardo expectantly.

"I think it's just too risky to just go in there at this time - they have firearms April - and I don't want to put the team at risk like that"

"Fine" spat April "I'll go on my own"

"And now you're just being ridiculous!" snapped Raphael "You go in there you won't last two minutes!"

"Then come with me... _please_..."

I'd heard enough.

"Look April I think what you have to understand is that this isn't something you can just decide on a whim to do. These guys put themselves at risk last time and poor Mikey got hurt, what you're asking is for them to do it again. Do you honestly think that Shadow won't be on stand by? That he won't know what's coming? Believe you me, he knows"

"So I just give up?... Let him take everything and give up. I'm a fighter Rosie, it isn't what I do"

I laughed. I really, really laughed. I couldn't help it - this woman was the mistress of manipulation and was so blatant about it. She was laying on the guilt with a trowel and then some in a bid to get them to bend.

"You have some nerve!" I spat out angrily "These guys _are_ fighters, they're trained Ninjas, and in case you hadn't noticed they have done nothing but their best for you. I'm sorry you lost your sister to Shadow but going in there after her to get evidence would be suicide. And if he gets hold of you, which he will, you will be in for an extremely unpleasant time. He's not playing here, this guy is changing people, making them into monsters. But if that's what you want then go ahead!" I plonked down and crossed my arms by way of a finale; feeling that my point had finally been made. Raphael sat down on the arm of the chair next to me and he put his hand on my shoulder giving it a rub: His little way of saying he supported what I'd said.

April sat down again and her eyes met mine, they brimmed with fresh tears "You're right" she muttered "I'm so sorry... _everyone_...I really am...I just so want to nail this guy"

"We all do" replied Leonardo warmly "We all want the same thing April but we have to re-assess the situation and take our time. Donnie is working on some new weaponry - something a little more hi-tech - as well as testing the Source and Rosie is going to use the device to see what's next. We all have plans for this but we can't just rush in - I can't risk another accident like what happened with Mikey, it just isn't feasible"

She ran a hand through her hair "Okay... I get it...sorry, again. Can I go see Mikey whilst I'm here?"

"Yeh be our guest" replied Raphael "He's just as annoying as ever"

Getting up she went down the hallway to the youngest's room. I leaned back and looked up at Raph who bent down to kiss me.

"Thanks" he murmured

"Yeh thanks" added Leonardo "But you're not getting a kiss off me" He smiled and disappeared off to the kitchen "I'll put the kettle on" he shouted.

Raphael slid off the arm of the chair and pulled me up for a cuddle "April was on one, the point at which I thought she would never listen"

"I noticed" I answered softly nuzzling my head into his chest "There's just one teeny tiny problem..."

He kissed the top of my head and I felt him smelling my hair "Which is?"

"The device. It's broken" I said simply. He relaxed his hold.

"Broken? As in..."

"Not working; not functioning; kaput; dead.. It drowned in the water - I didn't realise it wasn't water proof and yes Donnie knows, he's fiddling with it but says there are no promises"

"Well at least it gives him something to fiddle with" chuckled Raphael "And he does fix it that's a bonus"

I smiled at him "Do you think Leo will be as understanding?"

"About what?" Leo appeared from the kitchen with Karai and two trays of drinks.

"The device is broken - D's looking at it as we speak" announced Raphael "Hey, it's no biggie right?"

The trays were discarded onto the table and Karai passed me a mug.

"Well, it means that we can't communicate with her father - and he was quite important in all this" Leonardo sat down, I could hear his brain ticking over thinking just how we would work forwards from this. Yes in a way he was kinda right - it was the only way that I could communicate with this man but surely it couldn't be the be all and end all?

"We'll just have to hope that Donnie can fix it" concluded Leonardo firmly.

"Donnie is trying!" Donatello appeared out of his lab looking flustered and under pressure "One of those for me?" He indicated towards the tray of drinks.

"Yeh sorry D - was going to pop it in to you - have a biscuit too?" The plate of orange mis-shapen biscuits was slid in his direction.

"No way. I recognise those and I know whose twisted mind they have come from. They're some of Mikey's creations and I _am not_ touching one.. not after last time!" He picked up his mug and retreated back into his sanctuary "I'll be in here should you need me" and with that the door was closed.

I examined a biscuit - it looked harmless enough but smelt rather strange. Raphael removed it from my fingers.

"I wouldn't" he warned, putting it back on the plate.

"Are they really _that_ bad?"

"Yeh, last time Donnie ate one he was stuck to the toilet for a day and a half"

Sitting back in the chair I swung my feet round and nursed my mug.

"April's been a while. I'll pop in and check" Leonardo got up and left the group.

"You think he's mad at me?"

Raphael shook his head "Nah. Leo doesn't do anger, that's my thing"

"Ha ha very funny" I smacked his arm and giggled.

"I'm gonna go train - see you in there if you fancy a pounding" he teased giving Karai a smirk.

"Once Leo's back you will so regret saying that" she replied, shooting him an dark look.

After being so active the lounge was now rendered silent. Karai, obviously unimpressed with this, put down her drink and slid forwards a little angling her body towards me.

"He's a wind up merchant" she announced shaking her head "So...what's the plan?"

"The plan?" I frowned at her, not really sure what she was on about.

"Yes Miss Taylor, the plan, the way we move forward. So...What do you think?"

"I don't know..." _And I really didn't._

"So I guess you're relying on Donnie to fix things?"

"I guess. Or maybe I'm hoping it'll just land in my lap"

"Well..." She got up as Leonardo re-appeared with April "Let me know when you figure it out, I'll be ready"

Grabbing his arm she pulled him towards the dojo "C'mon you, it's training time"

That left just me and April and if it felt awkward before it felt a billion times more awkward now. She stood still for a while and then made to go to the door.

"I'm sorry.." she said as she passed "You're a nice girl, you didn't deserve it...if it's any consolation it meant nothing" And she gone and out of the door minus a response from me. I couldn't bring myself to speak to her. Our friendship - whatever there was - had been well and truly ruined. I could forgive but I would never forget. I gathered the mugs and cups together on one tray and took them to the kitchen. Mikey's creations were put back in the tin; _I certainly wasn't going to throw them away;_ then I put some water into the sink and added suds, swishing my hands to bring about the bubbles.

As I washed the crockery I was unaware that someone had appeared behind me and that this particular someone was watching me as I washed up.

"I knew that you'd do it..." The voice was one that I recognised but to hear it so loud and so clear was not something I was familiar with. I froze for all of two seconds before spinning round; cup in hand. I expected to find no-one, for it to be another vision, but there he was, solid and real, standing right in front of me. The cup slipped out of hands and onto the floor smashing as it impacted on the concrete.

"You..." I whispered. He took a few steps forwards and stood just a few inches away.

"Hello Rosie..How are you?"

 _I could not believe that he would ask me that!_

"How am I? How am I? How do you think I am?" I pushed past him angrily.

"I'm sorry, my daughter, truly I am.. I had to do it this way - it was necessary, but now you have the Source..."

This man - _this stranger_ \- was addressing me as 'daughter'. I wasn't just angry, I was furious.

"I am not your daughter! You have no right to call me that!" My shrieking bought Donatello out of his lab and the others out of the dojo. They looked from him to me and back again. He, it appeared, wasn't shocked by the appearance of three mutant turtles and Karai; it was almost like he had seen them before..

"What the heck is this?" boomed Raphael

"I know you.." interrupted Donatello, pointing out a finger "You're the hollogram guy!"

"The father?" Raphael looked towards me "Rosie?"

"He's _not_ my father" I replied bluntly "He's a fraud. He's been playing a game this entire time. Setting me up and watching the fallout!"

"I wasn't!" he protested, opening his arms as if displaying some sort of innocence "I had to keep away - that's how it is - that's the rules. It's all a test - and you passed, you have shown yourself more than worthy"

"Worthy for what?" Raphael stepped forwards and towered over him "You better start talking and talking quick little man before I finish my training session... on you"

"I'll tell you everything... _everything._ I promise. Everything"

The silence in the lair was so very oppressive. I was finding it hard to draw breath and no-one, not even Leonardo, spoke. They were all waiting for me.

"Okay" I answered indicating to the chair "Talk"


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Light and Shadow

This man looked so nervous, Rosie, on the other hand, looked remarkably calm. Raphael felt impressed. He was so proud of his girl.

"So...?" Her arms were folded across her chest and her face remained firm as she waited.

"Would you all sit down..please...I feel a little on trial here and believe you me there's no need - you will understand when you know... _please_ " He nodded towards the other chairs. Rosie hesitated only briefly but then sat down, acting as a cue for all the others to follow suit and find spaces around her, Raphael assumed position by her side so that he could glare at this man should he ever over-step the mark.

"WHAT'S GOIN' ON GUYS?" Michelangelo's voice came loud and clear from his room "YOU ARGUING AGAIN?"

Leonardo went to get up but Karai touched his arm "You stay, I'll pop to see him"

"Yeh and tell him to get off his ass if he's that bothered..." began Raphael before turning to Donatello and adding: "He's milking it now and you're too soft"

Rosie took Raphael's hand and squeezed it, he squeezed back and gave her a smile.

"My name is Kavon" began the new visitor.

"Kavon? What the fuck name is that?" growled Raphael, Rosie have him a look which made him stop talking.

"It's my name" replied the man simply "It was the one I was given".

"Surname?" asked Leonardo just as Karai came back in the room followed by Michelangelo who apparently was now well enough to get out of bed. _Raphael knew he was being nosy and that he would pay for that little error later._

"No surname" He took a breath "In fact you may recognise my first name.."

They all looked at him with blank faces apart from Donatello who triumphantly stuck up a finger "Novak. The company that TCRI are hiding behind...but wait a second why would?"

"Shadows little joke. Surprisingly he does have a sense of humour. He knew it would get to me so that's why he did it"

"He reverse named a company after you? That's harsh dude...I'm Mikey by the way" The youngest stuck out a hand and flashed him a grin "The most charming and of course the most fun"

"And most annoying" muttered Raphael under his breath

They shook hands "Nice to meet you Mikey, thank you for the intro" Raphael got hold of his brother and pulled him away.

"You don't deserve no intro buddy, you've put her through Hell and back and I still wanna know why!"

"Okay..okay. I'm getting to it" He held up his hands as if he was trying to bring some peace to the situation.

"Well get there quicker before I'm forced to give you a beat down!" replied Raphael gruffly, Rosie took his large hand again and held it tight as she kissed it softly; trying to calm him down.

Leonardo moved forward and got up: "Raphael's right... _in a way_...though he puts it in more of a _physical_ context. We just want to know what's going on and why"

"I know...and for what's it's worth I am so sorry..." He was looking directly at Rosie now "I know it's been tough but there was literally nothing I could do - I had to keep some sort of distance though the communicator did allow me to have a bit of contact with you all"

"The communicator you say?" Donatello had a smug look on his face "That's what I called it too"

"Shut it D no-one's interested" snapped Raphael as he face-palmed his brother nearly knocking him over.

"So you've been here all that time?" Rosie still couldn't quite believe it.

"Yes... _sorry_..."

"In what form? I still don't understand, and how come you're here now, like this, what's changed?"

"You have the Source" he replied simply

"Look... _I just need the truth_. Why did you leave me?" Her voice cracked slightly. Though she had no complaints surrounding the man who had raised her; her real father; she was still hurt that she had been abandoned and she still wanted to know why.

"It was too dangerous for us to be together. I had to do it for your own protection, so they couldn't find you"

"But they found me anyway!" shrieked Rosie "They took photographs, they watched me grow up!"

" _Watched_. That was the point. They could only ever watch. You walked into their trap by coming here - if you'd have stayed in England none of this would have happened. I put you there because I thought you'd be safe. I put layers of protection on you and on the entire Island. Being the Leader of Lightgivers has given me great power but it seemed that even I failed to keep you away..."

"Away? But I thought you wanted the Source?"

Kavon shook his head "No. We wanted it to be safe, hidden, and with you in England it..."

Raphael was up like a rocket and instantly grabbed hold of him by the scruff, lifting him up and off the ground: "Look man, you are speaking shit so I really would urge you to have a re-think before I knock something into you!" he cracked his knuckles on the free hand.

"Raph don't please..." Rosie shot up too and urged him to let go "It's okay...put him down...please"

Letting out a loud huff Raphael let go of him but kept his eyes firmly fixed on his target as he re-took up his post next to Rosie.

"I'm sorry... _I am_...But once you came over here you triggered the chain of events...I should have warned you I know but I just didn't think it would get this far, that you would get this far" He hung his head in shame "Once you turned 25 I knew things would change for you, I knew it and I also knew you would be more vulnerable to manipulation but I just didn't think you would ever come over here"

"What exactly does this all mean? The Source, this Shadow guy and what he's doing? We just want know so we can understand" Leonardo tried to delicately change the subject and move the attention away from Rosie and onto something else, he knew Raphael was just one wrong word away from laying this guy out.

Kavon took a breath "It's hard to know where to start but let's just say this has been a long time coming"

And then he proceeded to tell them the entire tale; how the Shadow was an ancient evil force and that both him and the Shadow Dwellers had been at war with the Lightgivers for centuries. He, himself, had met with a female Lightgiver and had fallen in love. She'd birthed Rosie and then sadly been lost to the darkness. Knowing that the Shadow was after the child he had taken the baby and fled their world to this world in order to find parents who would raise his daughter as their own. He had thought she would be safe there.

"I underestimated everything...you..him...everything. We Lightgivers are not supposed to breed per say. We just _become_ \- that is our nature, that is our way"

"Become? The Shadow said something about becoming..." Rosie remembered those words and they had haunted her since she had been there.

"Yes, he's obsessed with having a power like ours. And you, you were the key to him getting it"

"The Source..." she whispered, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Once you turned 25 that was the start. Since you were then so close to the Source being here I knew that the process would begin - that you would begin to change...to fade away...in some way, to die. Now you've got hold of it you will change once again, your life will become your own and you will be...not to sound too dramatic...re-born. You in effect you too, will become"

"So what is it the Shadow is doing?" Now it was Donatello's turn to ask a question - all of them waited for the response.

"He's a monster. And he's changing these people into monsters, he's trying to make the perfect specimen; men and women...mutants and monsters"

"Hey, we ain't monsters!" hissed Raphael

"No... _I know_...not you...you have all been so kind to my daughter, cared for her, I...I am so very grateful"

Rosie once again felt herself prickle at the word 'daughter'. _She hated to hear him use that._

"Shadow wants an army to take over both this world and the next. He wants to make them and he wants to breed them. The Source would allow him to do both"

"But there's hardly..."

"There will always be the Source Donatello because the Source is eternal. It cannot run out, it cannot be destroyed and it can not be manipulated. It is pure. And it is powerful"

"It is mutagen" interrupted Mikey in a lighthearted tone; Raphael smacked him on the head "Oww! N'fair! It's true! and I'm poorly.."

By way of a telling off, Leonardo gave them both a hard stare.

"Yes, it does contain mutanogenic elements but it also contains much, much more"

"Unlike my brain head and brain _dead_ brothers I'm not interested...I only want to know what this means for Rosie" Raphael glanced at her and lifted a hand to gently touch her cheek.

"She'll become something more than she is. She will be strong and centred and develop powers she never knew she could possess" Kavon locked her eyes with his own "You _will_ be okay though...you will"

"Are you saying she'll be like a superhero?" Raphael couldn't believe Michelangelo would ask that.

"She will have powers yes. It's to prepare her for the battle"

"What battle?" Raphael stood up again and standing up over someone sitting down made him appear even more intimidating to the person in the chair.

"The battle that will be as a result of all this... It's the rules" He was squirming in his seat as Raphael bent in even closer.

"Yeh, you keep saying that little man but I don't see no rule book!"

Leonardo got up and put his arm between the two of them "Calm down Raph, getting angry won't help" Rosie followed Leo's lead and linked her hand into the crook of Raphael's elbow, gently guiding him away and talking him down.

Kavon now fixed his attention on Leonardo "I'm sorry but this is the truth.. I wish there was another way but you know that deep inside don't you Leonardo, you know that a battle will be the only way..? Lord Shadow will want this Source and he will hunt for it and now I am here it will only be a matter of time before he has that connection. To prevent human loss of life our best option is to go directly to him, but only once we are prepared. My guess we will have 2 days tops. Once inside TCRI we will have to move quickly, he has things in there that you wouldn't want to meet"

"I'll have you know Mr Lightgiver sir we fought our way through many things to get to the Source" announced Donatello proudly.

"Oh I know you did and you all did excellent..But these _things_ I speak of are as a result of his experiments; they are monsters, demons..beasts...and they will all be out for blood"

"Oh well, we got Raph and he's ALL of those things on a bad day" laughed Michelangelo. Raphael, having heard his sibling, then proceeded to chase him stating that he would show 'no mercy' once he got his hands on him.

I, Rosie Taylor, shuddered at the thought of monsters and demons, and then I looked at this man.

This man who proclaimed to be my biological father and this man who claimed that there would be war.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41: Reflection and revelation

Leonardo, being the ever so patient and ever so generous was bound to invite this stranger to stay with us. And of course this stranger being now so integral to our plans was bound to accept! I couldn't have predicted it any better could I?

Raphael seemed to calm down and the others spent the majority of the day in talks with this new arrival. I hung around for a while but then I found that my emotional state got the better of me and I took myself off to get some so-called 'air' in the tunnels. Though I didn't go far and I wasn't gone long it was obviously too long for my protector who, given my absence of around 10 minutes, decided that enough was enough and came out to find me.

I had taken up position on a ledge and was mulling over things. He stood in front of me and made his arms open for a hug. I welcomed it. He was so solid and comfortable and he smelt so familiar. It was just what I needed. _Familiarity._

"You okay babe?"

His question was simple but it was the words that not only calmed my soul but also spoke to me in so many other ways.

"I love it when you call me that" I murmured, resting my head on his chest and loving the feeling of his arms around me. Hugs from the handsome and strong Raphael would never lose their appeal.

"Babe?"

"Yeh, it makes me feel special"

"Hey, and here I was thinking that my attention to your bedtime needs would make you feel _more_ special" he replied chuckling.

I laughed too and nuzzled myself even closer to him.

"I know it's been tough for you today" he continued "And even tougher now he's staying but perhaps it'll be for the best in the long run"

I suddenly pulled away and looked up at him, all at once feeling a little confused. Had he just said it would be the best? My big tough Raphael - who one moment wanted to murder this man - now says it'll be for the best!

He reached forwards and smoothed my hair, large hands tucking it delicately behind my ears so he could access my cheeks and nurse them with gentle strokes.

"Don't you think so?" he had concern in his face as his eyes searched my own for any clues as to how I was feeling.

"I don't know what to think. Not really. I feel lost again. In my head I had this thought that once we had the Source that everything would go back to the way it was only it won't though will it? Things will never go back to that because there is no going back, not any more"

He bent forwards and covered my mouth with his own, sweeping me up in soft kisses and keeping his hands in contact with my face at all times.

"I wouldn't think you'd do normal anymore?" His beautiful green eyes stared into my own dull and much less attractive brown ones.

"I don't have much of a choice"

"You do about me" He lowered his gaze "And I'm about as far away from average Joe as it gets"

I moved my legs apart and latched them around the back of him trying to gain some leverage to pull him back towards me. He did as I prompted and slid forwards, encasing me in his large arms again and kissing me.

"Love you" he whispered

"Love you too" I replied all at once feeling a little shy.

"And we are going to get through this together okay?"

I nodded.

"And I won't be leaving your side, whatever gets thrown our way okay?"

I smiled at him; believing every word he spoke.

"Now...before we go back and connect with... _the others._..we could have a little connection of our own right here, right now" He dropped his hands to my hips and then around to my rear, giving me a little squeeze and then caressing me lightly with his fingers "So...how about it?" One hand then crept up my top. I giggled and moved away, trying to stop him in his quest to undo my bra.

"I'm not doing anything here!" I protested "Donnie probably has all these tunnels under surveillance. Imagine him watching us"

He lowered his head to my neck and kissed me there "You not find that thing a bit of a turn on then?" he teased.

"No!" I squealed, wriggling harder. He held me tighter for a few seconds but then eventually released me on account of my continued high pitched protests.

Sticking out a hand he helped me to scoot off the ledge and kept a firm grasp of me as we returned to the lair. Admittedly I felt a lot more relaxed now so upon seeing Kavon (who I now kept referring to as Kevin) again I wasn't as riled.

The rest of the day was spent discussing tactics, trying out weaponry and training. I was not a fighter but I found myself adapting easily enough to the stances and moves that Raphael helped me with. 'Kevin' insisted it was to do with my new state of being, I was unconvinced mean as I felt absolutely no different what so ever.

To check things over Donatello took me off to the lab to look me over. Raphael insisted that if his brother tried anything below the clothes I had his permission to smack him and then I had to let him know so he could smack him even harder.

"He never allows me to just get on with things..." began Donatello "I do all this and design new weapons and here's the thanks I get"

I smiled at him "Thank you" I said in a tiny voice. He smiled back and patted my arm.

"You're most welcome Miss Taylor. Now if you just climb up here, lie back and relax we can see...just what's going on, if anything at all"

I closed my eyes and let him 'get on with things'. In my mind I saw myself with Raphael. Not sexually. Just us, being together talking and spending time. I adored being with him. He always knew how to make me feel loved. We'd traveled down a long road (which was sometimes bumpy) but now it seemed things were settling as they should be.

"Well, your heart rate is back on line and stronger than ever" He announced. His words cutting through my visions "And let's just look here...and..."

The fact that Donatello stopped talking didn't strike me as an oddity. I just assumed he was busy and that his mind had wondered off in another direction. So I kept my eyes closed and kept myself quiet and good; trying to be a good patient whilst he embraced his role as a doctor.

I heard the machine whirring and kicking into life and then the expressively sharp clicks of the camera and after a few minutes all fell still.

"Okay, all done. You look fine"

I opened my eyes "Really? That was quick. Is there nothing else you want to check?"

"Nope" He shook his head firmly "All good. Vitals are strong and you appear super healthy"

I frowned as I noticed a slight flush to his cheeks "Okay...well, let me know if you need me back in here for more pokes and scans" His cheeks reddened even more deeply and as though doubly aware of this he quickly turned his back on me and sat at his computer "Oh err, can you send Raphael in to me?"

I was making my way to exit when I stopped and turned around "You actually want Raph in here?" This puzzled me a little because he had been so keen to not have him here a few moments ago.

"Yes please" He didn't even turn to look at me.

So I did as he asked and sent Raphael in, not before my hulking turtle boyfriend had asked me twenty questions about my time with Donnie.

"So.." said Raphael "Rosie says you wanted to see me...got a confession have you?"

"A confession? Why would I...? Oh you think...no it's nothing like that - I just want a second opinion that's all and mean as you're the closest I figured" He typed quickly and brought up a series of pictures "Now to find the one I want..."

"What's this about D? I was just in the middle of pounding the crap out of Fearless so this had better be good"

Donatello pointed to the screen "Just close your mouth for a moment and watch this"

Raphael did. And as he did he saw the screen come to life and a small entity twitching and moving "What da?"

"You agree it looks alive does it not?"

"Yeh, course I do... what is this? where's it from?"

Donatello moved round to look at his brother "It's from Rosie, from inside her. Looks to me like you're going to be a daddy"

Raphael just took hold of the words, processed them, looked back to the screen and then passed out.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42: Family Matters  


Donatello had always wanted to throw water at Raphael and get away with it. In this case he had the excuse that he had wanted: the water was to bring his brother round. And it had been needed to be administered twice.

The older sibling had regained consciousness only to question his brainy brother, see the computer image and pass out for a second time. Donatello couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he poured water over Raphael's face. The red-masked terrapin shot up and then proceeded to rub his head and eyes, dislodging his bandana.

"What happened?" he growled

"You fainted" announced Donatello simply as he handed him a drink "Two times"

Raphael stood up with the help of his younger brother and then tipped the entire contents of the glass over Donnie's head "An eye for an eye and all that, and you're lucky it's only the one" He plonked his full weight onto the chair and scooted closer to the screen to further study the image "A baby" he muttered "My baby.." A solitary tear fell down his face. He, a mutant turtle, was going to be a father. Never had he ever imagined this would be possible. Wait...

"How is this possible D? It can't, I mean I'm...and she's.."

"A mutant. Just like you. She's not a complete human Raph you know that. And this, it would appear, is what makes you perfectly compatible for breeding"

Raphael shook his head "Tell me you did _not_ just say that..." he muttered

* * *

The afternoon had been okay and April had seemed settled with the plan we had made, not that I really cared what she thought but I was trying to be good and keep the peace among us.

But after coming out from Donatello's lab, Raphael, it appeared, changed everything around and started to act weird. Really, _really_ weird. For several minutes he couldn't talk to me and so all he did was stare. I started to worry, what had happened in there?

Sitting myself next to him at the kitchen table I stretched my hands forwards in a bid to hold his. He smiled at me and took them up in his own.

"You okay?" It was now my turn to try to read him

"I'm good. But it should be me...I mean, asking you..are you...okay?"

"Why?" I frowned as he pulled me up and lead me out.

"Let's talk, just you and I"

I dutifully followed as he took me off to his room under the watchful eyes of everyone in lounge, including 'Kevin'. They also appeared to stop talking as we passed unless that was just me being paranoid as per usual.

He sat me on the bed, walked around a bit and then pulled out a chair to sit himself opposite me. Once again he gathered up my hands in his own. He looked awkward but a bit excited, like as if he didn't really know what to do with himself.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm good" He planted a few kisses on my hands and then held my eyes steadily; I swore I could see tears brimming in his own "Donnie, Donnie showed me something...something amazing...I mean, totally amazing...and he didn't tell you because he wanted to check that what he thought was right and I said it was so..."

"So..?"

He exhaled loudly and then sucked in another breath "So now I can tell you...I mean, share with you...your..our news"

"Okay..." I suddenly felt a little nervous.

"The scan...it showed...something, something in here" He reached and touched my stomach gently with a hand. I felt as if I couldn't breathe, there was a tightness in my chest and everything went into slow-mo: "You're having a baby...I mean, we're...we're having a baby"

My reaction was one of astonishment, then shock and finally I settled on confusion.

"Wh..wh...what? _What did you say?_ " I mumbled, words coming into my head but not quite flowing out of my mouth as they should do. I felt like I was intoxicated.

"We're pregnant" He replied, his face was teetering on the verge of pure joy but he was holding back for my reaction; waiting for the all clear before he jumped around excitedly.

My face was still non-responsive and as a result, his face fell. We both sat in silence and just looked at each other.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and grasped my face in his hands "Talk to me babe...you are okay aren't you? with this...with us..?"

As soon as he spoke I allowed myself to come out of the shock that I had involuntarily gone in to. The muscles in my face relaxed and my lips slightly parted preparing my mouth for speech.

"I love you" I murmured "I just didn't expect...a baby...wow...I"

His mouth fell upon mine, the hands still keeping hold of my face as he kissed me. The kisses were like a release. And with that came overwhelming feelings of calm. I found that I could move and so I put my arms around his neck and drew him closer towards me as our mouths moved together hot and feverish. Suddenly he stopped the kiss and moved apart from me: "You sure you're okay with this?". I smiled and pulled him closer to me again. Now it was his turn to seek reassurance and with my love and affection I hoped he was hearing it loud and clear.

Though clearly excited if a little stunned we decided to let things 'sink in' for now and not breathe a word to anyone. Raphael was happy to take my lead though every now and again I would catch him staring into the distance with a happy little smirk on his face. Michelangelo just assumed that his older brother had got laid to which I shot him a look and put a stop to that little assumption.

I checked in again with Donnie - he went through the scan - showing me the photograph of what was a little twitching blob and as far away from a baby as it could get. But still it made me feel something new inside, a feeling that I thought I would never, ever have. A real feeling of want. I wanted this child. I wanted to be a mom and I wanted all this with Raphael.

Sitting in the kitchen I nursed a cup of warm milk. I loved warm milk. It gave me comfort. My moment of comfort was interrupted however by the entrance of 'Kevin'. As always I felt myself visibly bristle at his presence. Perhaps I was being immature but at this time I didn't care.

"I know you don't like me being here" he announced.

Bingo!

He pulled out a chair and sat down "And I want you to know that I'm sorry for what I put you through, perhaps you will understand it one day when you have a family of your own"

 _How did he..?_ I studied his face. He didn't know. He couldn't know. I looked back towards my milk.

"This is only for now. Once all is done and over then so will I..be." He paused and got up "If you want to talk any time, if you have any questions whilst I'm here, please, just ask." Sliding the chair back under the table he went to exit "And for what's it worth, I'm proud of you"

I shut my eyes. Not wanting to witness this man leave the room and skulk off back to wherever. I'd been told that Donatello had given up his room and he would bed down in the lab. _Dutiful Donnie, always so willing to help._

As my eyes were closed I didn't realise Raphael was standing behind me until I felt large hands on my shoulders massaging my tense muscles, easing away my guilt.

"You guys made up?"

"No" I replied stubbornly "Why should I? He left me remember"

"Not without reason" He bent over me and placed arms around my shoulders, kissing my neck, dipping to my collarbone and then returning back to where he had started his attentions.

"Since when did you become mister peace-keeper?" I murmured, enjoying his kisses "you wanted to nail him or have you forgotten that part?"

"Hey, a guy can change. And now I've found out that my girlfriend is having my baby; It kinda helps put stuff into perspective"

I reached up for his arms, found them, and got a hold, nestling my head into him.

In a strange way, he really had a point; And in another strange way, it really made me think... Perhaps I did have some questions after all.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43: Terror, truth and a tyrant

I remember going to bed and I remember snuggling up to Raphael. But what I witnessed next was no dream land. I saw myself traveling through the night and ending up at Shadow's headquarters - at TCRI. It was like I was there but wasn't. The part of me that was there could only watch as the moments unfolded. I was in a room with lots of containment units and within these units were people but yet they weren't. These beings had lost so much of their humanity there were only simple clues of what they used to be until they had been forced to become something else.

 _Monsters._

In one cell there was a woman. I could see she was female due to her large breasts and long hair which did little to cover the remainder of her modesty. Her naked skin was covered in warts, her long fingernails extended to resemble what could only be described as claws and as she moved slowly around the cell her loud grunts and groans added only to her strange 'animal-like' appearance. The cell next to hers held something much worse. A creature who's masculinity had been extended in such a way that is appeared more like a vicious weapon than anything which could be used in a sexual manner. His head was cruelly disfigured and housed numerous tentacles that writhed and pulsated - taking on a life of their own. As the Shadow approached the creature opened it's mouth to reveal razor sharp teeth as it hissed it him. The woman who was with the Shadow took a step back.

"Is it safe?" she asked. The tremors in her voice indicating her level of fear.

Shadow tapped the glass as the creature threw itself forwards with a cry of rage.

"No. Of course it's not safe. It is whilst it's in there...but out here, it would destroy anything"

"Why do you keep them? They are obviously failures"

He glared at her "They are not failures. They will be perfect. Perfect for what I need them for"

"Which is?" She asked the question but it was almost like she knew the answer.

"War" he replied simply "And once we have the other O'Neil woman we will be good to go"

Though these images of demonic creations had been scary it was 'those words' and those words alone that sent me back into consciousness:

 _The other O'Neil woman_ \- April, they were going after April. I sat bolt upright in bed. And as I did I immediately woke up Raphael whose groaning voice and fumbling hands told me that he'd been well away.

"What is it sweetness?" he asked quietly

"April" I muttered "We have to check on April" Grasping my cardigan and jeans I quickly got dressed in the darkness and then went to find Leo leaving Raphael calling after me in over exaggerated whispers.

I hesitated outside Leo's door. Karai. Oh God he'd be in there with Karai. _What if I walked in on them...?_ I'd done enough of that already. My faffing gave Raphael the opportunity to catch me up and join me in this location. He snapped on the lounge lights.

"What do you mean 'April'? What's happening?"

"You had a vision" Another voice joined in our little night-time get-together. Kevin/Kavon was also up. He looked bleary eyed but more awake than Raphael.

"Yes" I began "I was at TCRI, there were these... _things_...and then Shadow said about getting April"

"I know" he replied softly "I was there too"

"What on earth is going on out here?" Leonardo appeared at his door way "Some sort of midnight gathering I know nothing about?"

"Yeh because you're always the last to know Lame-o" shot back Raphael giving his brother a playful smirk.

Karai soon joined us as we gathered in the lounge and went over the dream. As I listened to Kavon I realised that he did see and hear the exact same things as me and that made it all the more eerie. We had a connection, and obviously one that I couldn't ignore forever.

I quickly phoned April whilst Raphael tried her cell. Both remained unanswered. Leonardo nodded seriously and grabbed his bandings and weapons.

"We have to go and see if she's alright" he announced "Who's with me?" Karai had got dressed at top speed and was immediately at his side. Raphael took a step closer to me.

"I'm staying" he said firmly, wrapping a protective arm around my waist.

"Okay, no problem bro, Karai and myself will go, no point waking the rest of the team - we'll holler out if we need back up okay?"

"Okay" Raphael put a hand on his brother's shoulder "Thanks"

Leonardo nodded. He didn't need to say anything else. He understood.

I was glad that Raphael was staying with me. It wasn't that I didn't trust him but I felt better having him with me; especially after what I had seen. The vision had done little to faze Leo and Karai who seemed ever the calm and confident ninjas out on a regular patrol.

Of course Donatello was slightly irritable once he awoke and realised they had gone without him or at least an upgrade in weaponry. He was even more disturbed once Kavon recounted - once again - the images in the vision. I left Raph calming him down and followed this man to the kitchen as he prepared tea for everyone. Everyone that was except Mikey who was still nestled in his bed.

"That one" groaned Raphael shaking his head "Could sleep his way through an earthquake"

"I have a question" I muttered. Kavon/Kevin looked at me and indicated to the table for us to sit down as the tea brewed.

"What exactly is a Lightgiver? and why are you not allowed to pro-create?" It was a question - _well a 'two-parter'_ \- that I had come up with before I went to bed and had planned on offering it up tomorrow.

He sighed and briefly looked away "We are an ancient race; existed for centuries - you see, life in it's entirety is more about time and emotion, darkness and shadow than it is physical mass. Once you see that and understand it - you will see how we came to be. We our chosen. At the very beginning. And our power is passed onto another through them becoming - taking on that higher order. It is dangerous for one to be with another due to that level of power. It's like putting two high electric charges together - you never know what will happen"

"But whilst I get that I don't understand the purpose? this whole thing. And why, if this Source is so important why you couldn't get to it and just move it. Put it somewhere else - out of his way"

He shook his head "I know. Sounds so easy doesn't it. I put it there so why couldn't I take it back? I lost all my power when I hid it - became nothing more than this darn hologram and relied on others to keep the Source safe. Some tried to access the tunnels, to move it, but they all failed. When you came here I knew you would succeed and I also knew _he_ would be after you - so I had to find a way to get both you and it somewhere safe. I never thought safety would be found in a sewer"

"And my birth mother..?" The third part to my prepared question selection was up and out there before I had anytime to reflect. His eyes fixed on mine.

"I lost her..to him. The darkness and the light are so close...it's like they almost touch"

At that moment I glanced down to the floor and noticed the shadow cast by the chair which I was sat on. It joined at the edge with the soft glow omitted by the lamp. _Darkness and light; always so close. Touching._

"Once you were born she was weakened, he took advantage. I'm sorry"

I found myself thawing a little as I glanced back at this small man sitting opposite me. He'd been through a lot as well. And whilst I could never call him father I knew that it was time to cut him some slack.

"I know. It's okay" At my words he looked up and once again met my eyes with his own.

"Thank you" he muttered.

"Is this tea up yet? I am parched" Raphael strode into the kitchen and ended the 'moment' between this man and me. Kavon offered me a smile and went to help Raphael with the duty of pouring. I was glad we'd talked. After all, who wants to go into war with any extra tension.

I stayed in the kitchen with Raph whilst Donnie and Kavon went to the lab.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" I muttered "I wouldn't want her to get hurt, even after everything and even though we aren't, you know, friends, I"

Raphael reached for my hands and held them in his own "If she's there Leo and Karai will bring her back here. Will you be okay with that?" He looked concerned "I err, don't want you stressing out baby mama"

I couldn't help but smile and getting up I plonked myself down on his lap "I'm fine" I kissed him gently on the cheek "Baby mama...that sounds so bizarre"

He lowered a hand to my stomach "I couldn't be happier" he mused before planting several kisses on my face. I giggled. "I am though a little worried about this 'war' business. In your condition, I dunno, I just don't want anything to happen to you...to both of you"

"We all stick together" I said firmly "It'll be okay". Raphael wasn't convinced. He wanted her safe - both of them safe - and that didn't mean going into any kind of battle.

Only another hour had passed when Leonardo and Karai returned: Empty handed.

We all gathered round them and anxiously waited.

"She's gone" began Leonardo "We went to TCRI but it's so heavily guarded there is no way in without reinforcement. It looks like he's using her as bait"

"For what?" asked Raphael. Again we all waited for the response.

"You" came Leonardo's limp reply as he looked at me directly "You and the Source. He wants you both"

He handed his brother a note. Ransom. Straight swap. Me and the Source for April O'Neil.

"No way!" hissed Raphael pulling me close "No one is getting my girl not ever and not with our baby in..."

"Baby?" Suddenly everyone was looking at us expectantly. I felt my cheeks flush up.

"Ooops...sorry...I meant..." Raphael was attempting to back peddle but there was no point - it was already out there.

"Yes, I'm having a baby" I said simply "I've not known long...I.. _.we_..were just getting used to the idea"

Kavon was staring at me with a glazed expression on his face; somewhere between fatherly pride, joy and sadness. Leonardo was looking from Donatello to Raphael and back again. Realising his brainiac brother was in on the secret he at first appeared a bit 'put out' but then hugs were exchanged and everyone seemed genuinely pleased for us. Even Karai gave me a hug. All be it brief. I hadn't wanted it to be common knowledge so soon but perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps..

I took a seat with the note and read it over and over. Everyone followed suit and gathered round as a group. It felt like we were a small and very strange army preparing for battle.

"So.." I said with an unusual air of authority "Now that our news is out in the open. We need a plan to deal with all this"

"How much time do we have?" asked Karai, lowering herself onto Leonardo's knee.

"24 hours at the most. He won't wait forever" answered Kavon seriously "He's a tyrant. We have to face him and we have to take him down"

I could hear the tick-tock of brains as everyone went into 'thought mode'.

A loud yawning noise came from behind us breaking the rising tension. Michelangelo approached the group rubbing his eyes "Hey dudes...what did I miss?"


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44: Preparation

"You will never get away with this" April had woken up to find herself strapped to a chair in what could only be described as a laboratory. She came to this conclusion due to the familiarity of the tools and equipment which she had come across in Donatello's lab at the lair.

The Shadow was standing over her and chuckling to himself. Underneath the cover of his hood she could make out the radiant amber eyes of an animal but the general features were almost certainly that of the Shredder. She had come across him on several occasions and each time had stood her ground and showed no fear...but each time she had been with the guys, or at least one of them. Now, however, she was alone. Although she felt afraid she was determined not to show it.

There were several men standing at a machine behind her, even with her head turned as far as it could go she could not make out what they were doing.

"How's she looking?" he boomed; smirking at her and taking a step to the side "Will she be ready?"

"Yes Lord Shadow" called back one of the men "Would you like to see?"

"Yes!" came the reply "Let's all see shall we"

He grabbed the sides of April's chair and kicked at something underneath her, suddenly her chair was free and able to move so he spun her around just as two sliding doors separated and what was within revealed to her eyes. At first she couldn't quite make out what the Hell it was. It appeared to be human but also machine. As the body was disconnected from the illuminated panel in the unit it looked as if it would flop forwards but instead it remained upright. The mouth opened up wide and let out an inhuman cry; eyelids parted to reveal pools of molten metal rather than the average iris and pupil. These blank eyes met April's own and suddenly she knew.

This was no thing; it was her sister; it was Robyn.

April garbled something incomprehensible and then passed out, the shock realisation too much for her to take.

* * *

Time had to be planned with military precision.

There were a series of tasks which needed to be undertook and in order to ensure we didn't forget anything I wrote a list. I had always liked being organised and this was no different. Donatello was impressed with my orderliness - Raphael thought I was becoming a geek, Mikey, on the other hand was still shell-shocked with the news of my pregnancy. He was quiet for a long time and then spent a few more moments looking at both myself and Raphael as if he really was wondering at the meaning of creation.

Once the new weapons had been checked and tested; Raphael decided it might be a worth while idea to run a training session and whilst he hadn't planned on inviting me along I sat in on it and found myself volunteering to go through a few moves once the others had completed their sparring matches. Raphael was not overly happy about this, but in the end he had little choice once I dug my heels in (I also threatened to go to Michelangelo for help if he wouldn't show me some things). It was at that point that he pulled me to him and whispered that he'd be 'more than happy to show me a few things'. Blushing like mad I shook my head and took a couple of steps away as he moved to kiss me.

"So...show me..." He went as if to take off his belt "Fight moves, not that!" I scolded crossing my arms and trying to look annoyed.

"Okay...a few basics...just a _few basics"_

He came and stood beside me going through each move in turn and then watching as I followed suit. Corrections were administered as needed, though I did feel at times like he was over-compensating and going slightly over board but I let him have his say.

I think he was glad once it was over and he could have me just where he wanted me: sat down on the floor of the dojo and taking part in the relaxation session which was of course led by Leo under his guise of 'Mr Mantra'; which was one of Mikey's nicknames for him. During this time I tried to switch off and clear my mind as instructed, I even joined in on the chants.

 _Within the darkness of my mind there swirled an image which wasn't a part of my relaxation. The writhing mass that came into view soon became something horrific. The eyes. Those amber eyes._

I snapped mine open and sat up. Even with my eyes focused on other things in the dojo I could still feel it scratching around inside my head; _hunting._

I stood up quietly so as not to disturb everyone else and exiting the dojo left them to it. My mouth felt so dry - like I needed water, lots of water. Once a full glass was in my grip I drank it quickly and reached for another. In doing so my hands began to burn; the feeling of fire rapidly spread up my arms and over my entire body. The heat was intense but not painful - it was almost like I was being charged with electricity; energy swept though me at a rate of knots.

But, then, as quickly as it had started, the experience was over and I was left breathing heavily, clutching onto the counter and looking at the broken glass in the sink.

"Now you're ready" Kavon had appeared behind me. He had a weird habit for appearing out of no-where.

"Ready for what?" I muttered, still catching my breath "What on earth was that?"

"The Light Force preparing you for what is to come. Only one final challenge remains" I didn't know whether I wanted to hear this but, like a lamb being led to slaughter I went along with it and asked what he meant anyway: "To ingest the Source" he said in a matter-of-fact kind of way; like it was just nothing.

I paused briefly and looked at him, mouth slightly open and eyes widened "What? That chemical? You want me to drink it?" I really couldn't believe that he would even say it!

"Ultimately, it is your choice and yours alone, but once inside you that will give you the ultimate protection, making your body adaptable and strong. Your powers although impressive may not be enough for what is to come. You have seen the creatures he has in there - they, and others, have no rules, no boundaries and they will kill anything that gets in their way. To beat them you have to become like them, it's the only way"

It took only two more seconds of thought for me to come to a conclusion which was: ' _I would not be digesting anything_ _other than water on the lead up to this war'_. I put a protective hand on my stomach and hurriedly made my way past him.

"You at least should think about it..please Rosie, remember, you're new to all this. And this battle will not be easy...think of yourself, think of your baby - this is a war, not a walk in the park!"

I stopped mid-exit.

"You will risk your life, your child's life going into this battle - the Source will protect you - it will not hurt you or your child, please you have to trust me on this"

"Trust you, trust you?!" I felt my temper rising along with my voice "I barely know you! You could have told me all this a long time ago instead of going on about protecting me, hiding this thing and keeping me safe why didn't you tell me the real risk? If I'd have known much more there is no way I would have ever have set foot here in the first place, I would have carried on with my miserable life in England... _miserable but safe_ "

"I couldn't, I'm sorry, it was the rules.."

"You and your darn rules!" I shouted.

The others came out of the dojo "What on earth is going on?" asked Leonardo, hands on his hips. Raphael had also assumed an authoritarian stance. Michelangelo looked worried.

"Ask him" I hissed moving myself to stand by Raphael and snuggle into him; seeking comfort.

They all looked at Kavon who visibly squirmed under their stares. He held up his hands "Look, don't shoot the messenger, I merely suggested that to give her to best protection she should ingest the Source"

"What! Hey, no way! I am not having her drinking that stuff, Donnie here don't even know what it consists of so why the fuck would she put that in her body, and when she's pregnant with my kid!" Raphael could feel himself practically boiling with rage _but then_ , he thought to himself, _why the Hell shouldn't I be pissed off! This guy was suggesting his Rosie drink that shit!_ He felt her gentle, soothing touch on his arm and looked down to see her deep brown eyes fixed on him.

"It isn't going to happen" she began softly "Never, ever, ever" Glancing back at Kavon she took a breath "If you want it, you drink it but count me out"

Keeping a hold of Raphael's arm she led him away towards Donnie's lab "I'll explain everything" she whispered "But there is no way I am putting any of that stuff near me" He reciprocated her touch by moving her across his body and wrapping huge arms around her ending with a gentle kiss to her head.

* * *

 _Our baby was okay._ I told them about the kitchen 'incident' so Donatello checked me over and gave me the all clear though he did think that the image of my baby had changed. He was convinced that it looked bigger.

"Perhaps he'll be different anyhow" mused Raphael as he held my hand and looked all gooey eyed at the screen. I loved seeing him like this. Big, tough, macho Raph all mushy over a picture of our baby; it warmed my heart.

"How do you know it'll be a 'he'?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Well, I don't, he _or she_ , whatever, I don't mind honestly. It'll be ours and I'll love it" He kissed me on the mouth, feathery little kisses which made me feel adored.

Donatello coughed, causing us to separate.

"Sorry" I mumbled

"Hey, no worries" replied the purple banded turtle who was blushing so deeply I thought he might retain the change of colour permanently "It's nice seeing you both so happy..really"

"Thanks bro, but that don't mean you get first dibs as favourite uncle, you know Mikey will want that role...and what a role model he's gonna be" he announced in an obvious sarcastic tone.

I smacked Raphael playfully "Hey, Mikey is lovely and he can teach our little one lots of things"

"Nothing worthwhile" he continued "And certainly nothing useful...unless you call his creative culinary skills a talent that's worth sharing"

I pursed my lips. As much as Raphael teased Michelangelo; he loved him dearly and knew that our baby couldn't ask for a better uncle.

Raphael looked at the image on the screen and then at Rosie. God he loved her so much. He loved them both so much.

And he was concerned. He didn't want her to go into this battle but at the same time knew she had no choice. Apparently 'it was the rules'.

If he ever, EVER found this goddamn rule book he would rip it to shreds and then burn it.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45: Battlelines: Part I

It was during the next few hours that things got serious. You could see it in everyone's faces. Their minds were whirring with expectation and worry.

Would April be okay?

Would we be okay?

What would we face?

Would it be overpowering?

Would it be scary?

 _Would we be okay?_

In truth I **was** afraid. I was afraid for myself; I was afraid for my unborn child and I was afraid for Raphael. I know what a hothead he was and how passionate he got and how he was likely to race in there without thinking and get himself into trouble. He may also be more willing to put himself at risk due to the fact that I was there. Unfortunately as Kavon repeatedly explained: _I had to be there. That was just how it was_. I hated these rules.

Sitting on the sofa I was just taking a moment when I noticed Leonardo and Karai together in the kitchen. They were not speaking to each other - well not that I could hear anyhow - they were just in the moment; enjoying spending some time as a couple, holding each other. Now Karai would never admit that her and Leonardo were a 'thing', not because she was embarassed or she was being mean, no, for her it was all about independence. She valued being seen as this strong woman who could go through anything and come out stronger. The fact that her and Leo shared a bed didn't even come into it.

Seeing them together there was no hiding their obvious affection for one another. He had his arms around her minuscule waist and his head was dipped against her neck. I knew I shouldn't be staring but I couldn't help it. They were such an attractive pair and though in some ways so different they were also so very similar too. I liked Karai a lot now, she'd kinda grown on me. And Leo, well, who couldn't like Leo. He was so very patient and caring.

I made myself look away. _God, I was becoming so reflective and sentimental it was disturbing me._

Just as I was having this little thought Leonardo came and sat next to me. He must have put Karai down, but as for where he'd put her I didn't know because she wasn't with him and I couldn't see her in the kitchen either.

"How you doing?" He looked at me closely like as if he was trying to read me for any signs of obvious panic or unease.

"I'm okay" I gave him a small smile "You?"

"Hanging on in there, you know how it is" And then he put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a cuddle. He was obviously feeling sentimental too. "Look I know you're worried about Raph, as well as everything else, but I just want you to know we all have each others backs out there so I won't let him do anything rash"

It was so sweet of him to say these things and whilst I was eternally grateful I didn't really know how he would be able to stop Raph doing just what Raph wanted. He wasn't particularly the type to be reasoned with and 'talked down' when he was on one.

"I've seen a change in him since he's been with you" continued Leonardo "He's more like the Raph we used to know. After Splinter died he got so angry, didn't want to be with us and be as a team; he was hurting so much but wouldn't let anyone in to help him"

I listened as Leo spoke and in Raphael's reaction to his father's death I saw my reaction too. We were so similar in so many ways him and I. It was lovely to hear Leo speak of his brother with such emotion. He really loved and respected him and it was none so clear as it was now: in the run-up to the battle.

"Thanks Leo" I said softly as he finished, putting a hand over his and giving it a squeeze.

"And I am pleased for you both, you know, with the baby. I think it'll be wonderful; for all of us. You are going to stay here aren't you? I mean I just took it as a given which, on reflection, is so wrong of me, sorry"

I lay my head on his shoulder "Where else would I go" I answered simply "You're my family now"

"And we're happy to be so" He held me a little tighter "Splinter would have loved you I just know he would"

Suddenly everything seemed to slow down and stop; as we stayed like that, cuddled together; united and reflective; the Leader and I. Family.

"Errr, what is going on here?" Raphael's booming voice cut through our silence. He had crept up behind us and did not look impressed at our close contact.

"Nothing" laughed Leonardo "We were just having a little brother - sister moment that's all" He smiled at me and got up "She's all yours"

"Good; just cos my back's turned don't want you getting any ideas" He playfully pushed his brother on the shoulder as he stepped past and then took up his position on the sofa, wrapping huge arms around me and holding me close "You okay beautiful?"

I giggled "I am not..." I was about to say 'beautiful' when he clamped a hand over my mouth: "Shut it. You are to me and I'm all that's matters Miss Taylor" Removing his hand he let it drop to my belly "How's the little one doing?"

I giggled again "That is not the little one - that's my tummy fat"

"Hey, will you cut it out! We have had this conversation over and over and you need to stop being so negative"

"I am not! I am merely pointing out fact"

The other hand stroked my face, gently caressing my cheeks, nose and lips before he lowered his head and kissed me. My body immediately responded and I kissed him back. I needed him so much; wanted him; desired him... _loved him._

A tear rolled down my face, he pulled back and wiped it away "No tears" he whispered "Hush, no tears. We stick together okay? _All_ of us"

* * *

Pep talks and sentiment were over. _For now._

We rolled out and were silent as Leo drove us over to TCRI. Kavon had already pointed out on more than one occasion that Shadow was expecting us. _I didn't think that was helpful._ It certainly didn't help me out and I could visibly see the perky green colour draining from Michelangelo's face. I reached forwards and held his hand. I had always had a soft spot for Mikey since day one.

TCRI arose like a tower of Doom in the early evening darkness. We had needed time to prepare - to plan - to get ourselves ready and all that we could hope is that we were not too late for April. Yes the girl had done me wrong but as I had already concluded I bore her no ill-will and I didn't want her to suffer. So, yes, I hoped that we would get her out alive.

The gates to the underside of the building were open so we drove straight in. We had considered the stealth approach and accessing the building via the rooftops but that would have took so much longer and probably wouldn't have made much of a difference anyhow - Shadow had surveillance everywhere.

Mikey took out as many as he could with his new slingshot (courtesy of Donatello). Whilst the genius turtle went for the door and got it open in a matter of seconds.

We expected to be met at the door; we weren't. We expected to at least be met exiting the lifts; we weren't.

"Does this not seem a little too quiet to you?" began Karai

"Agreed, everyone be on your guard" instructed Leonardo as he drew his fireblaster - _again, a new weapon,_ _courtesy of Donatello_. I, on the other hand, didn't have a weapon. I had Raphael, and he was standing right next to me holding me tight.

"You will have to let me go at some point" I whispered "You can't fight one-handed"

"I can do anything babe" he whispered back, giving me a grin. Nevertheless I detached myself from his grip and it seemed that this was what Shadow was waiting for. Out of no-where appeared a bunch of swirling cables - they dropped down and grabbed me whilst another lot grabbed Kavon; once captured we were whisked up into the ceiling to disappear from view.

The last thing I heard was Raphael shouting after me. The next thing I heard was Lord Shadow as we were dropped and locked into chairs.

"Thanks Robyn" he called as the cables locked us in "Oh Rosie I forgot you know her don't you? I hope you like her new look"

I raised my head as the ceiling cables slid away - the body they were attached to looked human. It was Robyn. He'd made her into a machine. A machine-human hybrid that would only exist to do his bidding. Kavon was right - he was a tyrant.

"Welcome guy... and girl of course - or should I say father and daughter... How nice! Look how wonderful it is to see you together!" And then he laughed. And it was a laugh that went right inside my chest and filled my soul with ice. Evil. Pure evil.

* * *

"Fuck!" shouted Raphael punching the wall "What the...FUCK!" He began pacing up and down wildly "I told her, I told her to stick with me...so - what's she go and do - let go of my hand and get taken...FUCKIN' TAKEN!"

"Calm down Raph, losing it is not going to help matters" said Leonardo in a serious tone "We have to find out where he's taken them"

"And just how do you suppose we do that oh great leader?" hissed Raphael; still pacing.

"Perhaps one of them will know.." suggested Michelangelo as he looked beyond the pair towards the opposite end of the corridor "Although..." he continued "They don't look very friendly...or that happy to see us..."

Turning round the brothers found themselves facing a sight that could only be described as 'horrific'. Numerous beasts, monsters and demonic looking creatures all stood there staring at them.

"I suppose running is out of the question..." squeaked the youngest, edging closer to Leonardo.

"No-one runs on this team!" growled Raphael "No-one"


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46: Battlelines: Part II

I was desperate to shout all sorts of insults at this 'thing' that loomed over us but instead kept myself quiet and my thoughts collected together in my head; silent, brooding. My silence only served to antagonize him so he turned his attention to my companion. These two had an obvious history, I knew very little but the tension between them was obvious; so obvious it was like a solid entity in the room.

"Brings back the memories I expect?" he sneered, giving us both a grin "I told you that you would never beat me Kavon and I also told you I would have your daughter and look at us now - and oh yes, here she is"

The man sat next to me visibly bristled but like myself, kept control and remained quiet.

"Your wife came to me and now your daughter has done the same - face it, you're pathetic, weak and you would never, ever win this fight" He took a breath to continue, _I just wished he would shut up!_ "You see how my empire flourishes, how these pathetic earth dwellers do exactly what I say and now I have Rosie and ultimately the Source I will achieve victory and you will be cast back down like the failure you are"

I willed Kavon to stay quiet, not to rise to the bait, and surprisingly he did.

Shadow, it appeared, had now finished digging at Kavon so he turned his attention back to me, a viscious glint in his eye:

"I suppose you're wondering about the other O'Neil woman? April isn't it" He walked past me and over to a window.

"No, I'm not wondering" I replied firmly "Why would I? It was supposed to be a straight swap or that's what I was led to believe"

"And therefore you think that I wouldn't lay a hand on her?"

I fixed his eyes with my own and with confidence "Of course"

He stared at me with those amber eyes as if trying to dig around in my head again. I held my ground, refusing to look like he was getting to me.

"Quite the pretender aren't we Miss Taylor?" He grinned at me, it was one of those sly grins, the type where you knew he was about to drop a bomb.

"I don't know what you mean" He turned away but even with his back to me I knew he was still smiling.

"You think you're some big tough heroine who is going to save the day don't you? You won't even admit your fear but I see it. It's in your eyes and written all over your face. You and your friends won't be getting out of here alive and you know it"

"I know no such thing"

"As we speak, your friends are meeting my little experiments, and if I have my way there will be nothing left of them once the gathering is over. You see Miss Taylor these creatures know only one thing"

I knew he wanted me to ask what that was but I refused to give him the satisfaction of it.

"Killing" he added, not caring whether I wanted to know or not "They're wild you see, they don't know right from wrong, they just want blood and death. And once your friends are all finished I can put into motion the remainder of my plan"

I shuddered to think what that would be.

* * *

"So err, guys what exactly is the plan?" whispered Michelangelo from behind Leo's back "If we're not running what are we gonna do?"

"Fight!" growled Raphael, pulling out his sai "Show this freak army what a real mutant does"

Leonardo already had hold of his katanas "Karai, get alongside Mikey behind us"

Karai raised her eyebrows "Excuse me? I don't think so Leo, I'm just as good as you guys if not better so I'd rather stay up front thanks"

Raphael snorted. She looked at him.

"I'll ignore that noise Raphael but I won't forget it so be prepared to pay later"

"I think we're gonna pay now!" screeched Mikey as the ferocious looking army advanced

"Not very fast are they?" announced Karai "Perhaps we should meet them halfway?"

"Good idea" hissed Raphael "Let's do this!"

He rushed forwards and immediately crashed head-long into a the man with tentacles on his head. These appendages shot out and attempted to wrap themselves around his throat, tightening and crushing. Leonardo swung his katana and dislodged the tentacles from their host causing the creature to cry out in pain.

"Thanks bro" Leonardo helped his brother to his feet just as two more creatures jumped forwards and attached themselves to his back.

"Get your ass of my brother you ugly creeps!" Raphael jabbed forwards with sai repeatedly trying to knock the creatures off Leo's back. Michelangelo was in a tangle of his own having found himself attracting the beast with the large penis and another one with razor sharp teeth. Whilst attempting to block the nips and snaps of the teeth monster he found himself grabbing hold of the three foot rod and yelling to Donatello that he had hold of it's weapon. Donatello - who with Karai was holding back other creatures with real weapons couldn't help but pull a face of disgust and instruct his younger brother to let go. The creature, although shocked at the contact, seemed quite happy to be touched and relaxed his focus for a few short minutes allowing Karai to dodge around the back of it and knock it over with a vicious blow to the head.

* * *

"You have not bought the Source with you nevertheless I know that it's close so at this very moment my men are breaking into your vehicle to retrieve it for me"

"It's not in there" I bluffed confidently

"Yes it is Miss Taylor so don't even try to get that one over me you foolish girl"

My hands were pinned to my sides but it meant I could still gain access to my pockets and in my right pocket I could feel the small vial. During our journey over here when I had reached to reassure Michelangelo he had pushed a vial into my hands. The vial contained a sample of the Source. He had done it because he had thought further ahead than I and wider than I. In my rush I had failed to ingest the truth of this mission, the truth of myself. I was not a human being in the same way that others were and I could not win this fight by just restricting myself to just my humanity. The part of me that was a Lightgiver had to be freed and embraced and in order to do this I had to take in the Source. Kavon had assured me that it would not hurt my child and of in that I had to trust. My faith in all that I knew and all that I had been told had to be taken as true - and real.

I extracted the vial and flipped off the lid pouring the contents onto my skin. Ingesting the Source through my skin was the only way I could think of doing it. And with that done, I waited, my eyes meeting Kavon's for a brief second trying to tell him through my look what I had just done. The brief nod of his head told me he knew.

"Your friends will soon be dead and my men have found the Source, they are bringing it to me at this very second, so your end is near Lord of Lightgivers oh so very near"

Suddenly I felt hot, not unlike the same burning sensation that I had felt back in the kitchen. It traveled up my body and consumed me with light.

"What on earth?" Shadow's eyes narrowed as he took in the changes to my body. The straps of the chair vanished and I was free to move and move I did, embracing my new power as it surged through me. My shape changed - I became leaner, longer and I felt so much stronger. Gathering up my focus I used my energy to throw Shadow across the room and then free Kavon from his chair too. At the shouts of her master Robyn descended from the ceiling to attack me. With virtually no effort at all my arms extended and became metallic like hers and the two of us intertwined; the look on her face told me she knew she was in trouble. I snapped off her arms and tossed them to the ground, she screamed loudly and slithered away back into the ceiling.

"We must find the others" I shouted in a voice that was not my own. Breaking the lock I burst my way through the door and out into the corridor sending fire bolts back into the room to destroy it. Kavon was watching me open mouthed, _and I think if I'd been watching me I would have been open mouthed too!_

Sounds of battle drew me back to the others and the remaining mutant creatures who all froze when I entered and then the strangest thing happened. They stopped fighting and came to surround me dropping to their knees and howling. I could feel their distress as they asked me for help. And all at once I understood; these creatures were not monsters, not really, they were confused and afraid. I glanced over to the others, they were bleeding but alive; they were _all alive_. "Who's this chick?" came the growly tones of Raphael as he re-sheathed his sai "She on their side?"

"No Raph I'm not, it's me...it's Rosie"

His eyes doubled in size and not for the first time, he keeled over and hit the deck. Donatello was quickly by his side as Leonardo, Mikey and Karai stepped over to me.

"Rosie? I can't believe it" breathed Leo, shaking his head

"Believe it. She embraced her destiny and I am so proud"

This time I did not bristle when the man called Kavon said he was proud, instead I surprised myself and hugged him.

"Thank you" I began "For believing in me even when I doubted myself"

"Your new power won't last so may I suggest we find April and get out of here" He had a grip of my shoulders as he said these words "I will locate the Source and see to the Shadow - don't worry, you get your friends and go"

I believed him. I trusted him.

April was on a lower floor, she had not been touched and although a little dazed she sure looked happy to see us. We fought our way past the guards and once outside located the van and piled on board. I was already beginning to change back to myself and had lost my long, lean look. I felt so much happier as me though, being a superhero was fun for a while but I was much happier as Rosie Taylor, the plump girl from England.

"What about Kavon?" asked Leonardo as he started the engine.

"He's going to finish it" I said simply. I didn't know how I knew this, I just did.

Once we were two blocks away I could see the light of fire, _and the light of something else_ , as it consumed the building that had been TCRI.

I felt sad but also strangely at peace. I rested my hand on my stomach as Raphael took hold of my other one and cuddled in close, kissing my cheeks, neck and lips.

This chapter was over and another one was beginning. I had a new start and boy was I ready for it.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47: Happily ever after

So we'd won.

There was no 'war' so to speak; well, apart from our little scuffle inside TCRI. And although there were obvious casualties inside the building it was better for that to happen than an army of mutants to rampage the streets. From the reports after the fire, all the monsters had been killed as there were no survivors. When those mutants had surrounded me I could hear their thoughts, feel their pain. They were suffering so cruelly, they had wanted release - freedom from the torture of living; I guess that the tiny bit of humanity that resided in them realised what they had been forced to become so at least now they were at peace.

During that episode I had also learnt to embrace my 'other side' - the part of me which was a Lightgiver had come through and I had been okay with that, I hadn't run and I hadn't felt scared. Of course I'd needed a little prompting and owed a lot to both Kavon and Michelangelo. The former had not been seen since TCRI but I knew he was okay and that our paths would cross again sometime in the future; that was a given really.

And then there was dear Mikey, he had once again come through for the team. According to Leonardo he did have a habit of doing that. But without his intervention I could have well still been tied up in that chair with a very different future ahead of me. Now, here I was, hugely pregnant surrounded by the best friends a girl could wish for and one of the most wonderfully caring boyfriend to boot.

I had never seen Raphael so protective. He didn't want to leave my side and was constantly fussing over me, making me snacks and drinks, rubbing my feet and giving me shoulder massages. I loved it all.

Even though Donatello was convinced that everything was going fine with my pregnancy and I felt just about ready to pop I still felt worried. I was no good with pain and I only had access to a limited amount of supplies to control it. Donatello's pharmaceutical hoard was not the most varied or the most well stocked.

That evening I had gotten ready for bed and was propped up flicking through one of Michelangelo's old comic books. Raphael was not far behind me and once in bed next to me took time to gently kiss my exposed arm taking his large fingers up to the back of my neck to stroke me there and give me goosebumps. I giggled and squirmed under his contact and that only appeared to fuel him further as that same hand descended under the sheets to caress my thigh.

"Stop it" I whispered in the firmest voice I could muster "I'm reading"

"That rubbish" He snatched it out of hand and tossed it onto the floor "and you don't need it babe" He carried on kissing my arm and then moved onto my neck.

"Hey" I giggled "I'm a pregnant lady, I do not need this kind of harassment"

He pulled me under the sheets, ignoring my protests and silencing me with a firm kiss on the mouth, teasing my lips with his tongue and causing my body to flush up in response. I laced my hands around his neck as he let me go.

"So when will we be meeting this baby then? Donnie says it should be any day"

"He does. Between you and me, Donatello is taking his role as a midwife very seriously" I found myself smiling.

"I know but I'm not very happy about him, you know, being down that end..in fact I find it a little... _unsettling_ "

"Well, he's all we have..." I looked away

"You okay sweetheart?" As I met his eyes I felt my stomach flip.

"I'm just a little scared" I murmured "Not only about the whole birth thing but what if I'm not a good mom, what if.."

He silenced me again with another soft kiss "There are always what if's babe but I will be right there with you to face all of them" He caressed my cheek with a finger "You are going to be an amazing mom"

"You really think so?"

"I know so and I think that the sooner we meet this little one the better and I got an idea on how we can move things in the right direction.." He nuzzled my neck. I knew exactly where this was going and after he informed me how good sperm was for starting labour and that sex would help me relax and soon I found myself buckling; especially after he dropped his hand into my pants, yes at that point it was definitely a done deal.

Two hours later I was not so perky and was instead crippled by pain. His sperm had done the trick and sent me straight into labour. I had been prepared for labour to be difficult (the clue was in the name) but it seemed that I had underestimated it by at least another 50 thousand levels of pain. I felt like my body was being torn in two and although Raphael stayed by my side throughout this wasn't something which we could overly 'share' though I would have gladly given it over to anyone at this point.

"You're doing great babe, really great, just keep breathing...remember deep breaths" Raphael was keeping one eye on Rosie but another one on his brother who kept disappearing down the lower end of the nurses couch "And you're there to do a job" he growled "No lingering"

"Let him be" gasped Rosie, squeezing his hand as another contraction took hold. Raphael wondered if he would ever regain the feeling in his fingers again.

The night was long and tiring for everyone, no-one went to bed, not even Mikey. And at exactly 6.05 a.m that very next morning baby Melody Rose took her very first breaths. Raphael could barely contain himself as the tears fell freely down his face; at this point he didn't even bother to pretend to be macho. Even Donatello had taken to sniffing as his brother locked him in a stranglehold type embrace.

"Thanks bro...I mean really, thank you...this is...it's just..." Donatello returned his brother's hold with similar enthusiasm. He had never delivered a child before but had put in hours of study before the intended due date.

Now wrapped in a blanket all Raphael could do was stare at his new daughter. Her skin had pinked up and she had a thick head of dark hair just like her mommy. She had traits from his side too - three fingers instead of four and he could just make out emerald green eyes just like his own.

As he held her in his arms and felt like everything was complete - it was like the final piece of the jigsaw; it was perfect.

Looking at Rosie he bent and kissed her head. Never, ever had he felt such happiness. Never had he felt so content. He had a family of his own and he couldn't be happier.

Seeing Raphael cradling our new baby girl I felt such a rush of love. I had been alone and now I wasn't. Fate had laid out plans for me and I never imagined that my life would take this path, could never have predicted that I would fall for a 6 foot turtle and then have a child of my own. But, I realised, this was my destiny and finally I was excited about the future. Finally I had a place to call home.

THE END


End file.
